thanks a ton! the gbelt new year's sounds perfect. i should have known.

we thought we'd hook up with some of my SD's friends for new year's eve, but all of them are out of town! any family-friendly new year's events (cheap/free) in PG, MoCo or DC tonight? we are a young dad and stepmom, kid is 7. we already know about brookside gardens, but were wondering if there are other options.

we are getting a CSA share from avianmead organics in brookeville this year...very excited! they are full for this year but i will report back on how we liked it.

I live in PG County and I know that the public schools don't allow homeschooled children to participate in the school's activities or curriculum part-time. Does anyone know of any private schools (non-religious) that offer this option to elementary-age homeschoolers?

Anonymous wrote:This may not be the type of advice that you are looking for either, but when you do have kids of your own, make sure that you and your husband, and to an extent his ex-wife have similar rules when the children are in your house. I am a child of divorce (my parents split up when i was 16, im 21 now) , with younger step-sibilings, and the number 1 problem i have with my stepmother is that things that she looks down on me for doing, she turns a blind eye towards when her children do it. I think all things need to be as equal as possible between the kids.

thanks, i will do my best to try. i think what would require some adjustment is the "full-time" versus "part-time" aspect. my DH has (i think) about 80/20 custody (he being the 20) so i wouldn't be able to deny that something was different between the kids! but in terms of expectations, i would try to keep things level. that's a long way off but it's good to consider these things now.

Anonymous wrote:Also, i agree that its important to remember that you are not their mother, especially since they have functioning mother. Just try to be a grown up friend, don't parent/discipline too much at first, and remember that for kids of divorce, things don't 'get easier' as we get older...they just get different. Being a child of divorce is always difficult, and its been proven that kids don't just get over it after a few years.

my SD's case is a bit unusual in that she hasn't had to deal with a divorce--the breakup happened before she was born (and long before either of her parents met either of her stepparents) so she has always been a "two family" kid. some of the typical divorce issues are non-applicable (for example, she has always been fine with the idea of having stepparents; she never wanted her parents to get back together because she has no point of reference there). but either way it's not the same as a being "one family" kid. and you're right that things will change as she gets older; some things may improve but others may get more complicated. i am going to do my best to be there for her in whatever way i can.

Anonymous wrote:Also, idk where you are located, but Susan Bilchick, of the National Family Resiliency Center in Rockville, has some great resoures/programs for blended families. Her number is 301-610-5666.

Hope at least some of this is helpful!

thanks a lot for the resource, i will look into it! i am just so surprised about the forum...it can't be true that i am the only person on here with a blended family!

hi again,

i don't blame the poster who had words of warning. i think it's natural for stepparents to feel unsure of their roles at first, and one way we may try to fit in is to try to be a substitute mother or father, when really that's not what we are...we're an additional parent, not a substitute for the biological parents, especially if those parents are still involved in the child's life (like they both are in my case).

so to that person: yes, i have encountered some bumps along the road in terms of my identity and i think sometimes i have run the risk of getting too invested. it's part of being a stepmom. but i don't try to compete with my SD's mother for her affection--i appreciate and validate the close bond she has with her mother, who has done a great job raising her. the way i see it, my job is to support the bond she has with her father, and to be an additional loving and supportive parent (and yes, definitely to live my own life!) ...my SD and i have a great relationship and value the time we spend together too.

anyway, my point previously was that i wasn't necessarily seeking personal support in terms of my role as a stepmom, but rather, perspective in terms of navigating a family lifestyle when your child has two (or more!) families. when you have a non-traditional family, you become more aware of, for example, children's books that portray a family simply as a mother, a father, and often, two or more full siblings. there aren't as many that mention blended families, or single parents, for that matter. but i know we are out there.

Hi all,

Just started searching around the forum for any threads related to blended families and was unsuccessful in finding any apart from a couple regarding divorce. I am a young stepmom (no kids "of my own" yet) and I often feel like I am between two worlds--I have my stepdaughter in mind when I make big-picture decisions but I am not a "real" parent day in and day out. (I'm using quotes a lot because I feel weird making a distinction; I think of my stepdaughter the same way I would think of my own child, but I'm also wary of claiming her as my own because she does also have a mom!)

I am in an online stepmoms community, which given me good insight at times, but I was hoping to hear from some local people who are in blended family situations--non-custodial, stepparents or otherwise non-traditional. What's funny is that I know quite a few people my age and older who are children of blended families, but not as many who are parents. Anyway, I know my stepdaughter is in a unique situation and I want to do right by her.

I'm not here to talk about babymamadrama or custody battles or deadbeat dads...just hoping to hear parenting experience from a blended family perspective. Anybody?

Klean Kanteen makes them in non-leaching stainless steel. Pricey, but durable. The sippy part is an Avent brand polypropylene (BPA-free #5) sippy spout. We just got one for my stepdaughter and a larger one for us too. So far, so good!
Also, looks like Greenfeet sells one that says "Teenie Weenie Greenie" on it instead of the Klean Kanteen logo (but it's still made by KK).
Hope that helps!