Message
Anonymous wrote:
ZachF wrote:You love him but you decided one day to completely blow up his whole life and nearly destroy his marriage? Sorry, you are a crazy bitch. I'm not judging you for the affair at all, just how you handled it.

He knows you are a crazy bitch who can't be trusted. He knows you could, and in fact have caused him a huge amount of grief with his wife who has stuck by him after your moment of selfish revelation. But, he's reaching out to you again?

Honey, that isn't out of love. Only a man equally as crazy as you would love someone so malicious and untrustworthy. That's the little head doing all the thinking.

Hey, if the sex was great and you want more, the go for it.


I just realized (duh) that people who are registered can now be understood to be denizens of the explicit forum. But the "honey" says it anyway. Objectify away, Zach!


My tone is one of condescension, but I know, objectify is a popular accusation these days. So take your pick but my intent was not to objectify unless she means to be the objective poster child for CBs everywhere. I'm all for her, or anyone else enjoying an affair as I can't judge a person for their motivations to make that choice. At the same time, I feel the worst kind of people are those who betray another's trust and take it upon themselves to ruin another person's marriage. The betrayed wife especially didn't deserve that but our OP decided what was best for all involved and acted on it with reckless disregard. That he still wants her back after that says as much about him as it does her. I agree with those who say they belong together and could even be soul mates. She is single now with nothing to lose. He is still married with a lot to lose but doesn't have the sense to steer clear of her. Perhaps he wants her to do the dirty work of breaking them up for good this time. I wish that guy would post here.
#!*^
Anonymous wrote:
ZachF wrote:While he was ignoring you, you should have sat your bare ass on his pillow while ignoring him back.

+1 ZachF I'm starting to like you.


Thank you.
You love him but you decided one day to completely blow up his whole life and nearly destroy his marriage? Sorry, you are a crazy bitch. I'm not judging you for the affair at all, just how you handled it.

He knows you are a crazy bitch who can't be trusted. He knows you could, and in fact have caused him a huge amount of grief with his wife who has stuck by him after your moment of selfish revelation. But, he's reaching out to you again?

Honey, that isn't out of love. Only a man equally as crazy as you would love someone so malicious and untrustworthy. That's the little head doing all the thinking.

Hey, if the sex was great and you want more, the go for it.
While he was ignoring you, you should have sat your bare ass on his pillow while ignoring him back.
Some of you are misinformed about what "power of attorney" means. It's not the same as guardianship and does not mean the one granted POA gets to make all his decisions, financial or otherwise. With POA, you can't prevent him from doing anything you wants. You can only act on his behalf, (sign checks, etc) with his permission. If he wants to give all his money to his GF, there is nothing you can do as POA. POA does not survive his death either. It ends with his death.
You have my sympathies. Lazy manipulative kids with one weak parent and the other a step is a recipe for disaster. I've been there and I feel your pain. All you can do is make clear they are out by 18, or in college.

Of course, any direct pressure you put on them will cause the DW to take it out on you for being so mean to "her" children, forcing her to choose between them and you. You will lose every time.

Depending on how much she enables them, and you allow it, be prepared to have one or both still living with you into their 30s, or if they do move out, constantly rebounding back home because life on their own is just so damn hard these days.

If they are still there after high school and not in college, be prepared to support a couple of sleep-past-noon, unemployed, worthless, childlike adults who do nothing while mom further enables them and protects them from you all she can.

They will never respect you if don't get right in their face, your marriage be damned, because it is anyway. If you get the, "you're not my father," line, tell them you will gladly drop them off at their father's house today. Their choice. Live by your rules or go live by the "real" father's rules which won't be any better. Bottom line, don't let them play you and don't let them see you as the weakest of their authority figures by virtue of you being a step.

Also, start charging rent at 18. Just enough where they feel they could go in with a roommate or two for about the same rent and get out from under you and all your suffocating rules. You will know you succeeded when a kid says, "this place sucks, I hate living here." Music to your ears.
There may be signs, and if you snoop, you may uncover something. These days, most people get caught because of the electronic trail they leave through texts and email. At the same time, you may never see any clear signs.

Women are so much better at keeping an affair secret than men are. They are so much better at keeping any kind of secret and especially good at conspiring with other women who may be doing the same. You may never find the smoking gun that reveals the truth.
I think this guy should dump you ASAP. Why are you going through his texts. Do you let him look at your texts and email whenever he wants to or is the invasion of privacy all one way.?
Love that show. Looking forward to the next season.
Your GF is a horrible person.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you like sex, just walk away from this woman. Your sister is probably right, knowing the situation better than we do. Walk away. Guys, if you're dating a woman and she's not excited about sex with you at this point, this is a red flag that if you marry her you'll being joining the sexless marriage club.


+100 see this discussion http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/563311.page your about to join it so you mind as well start responding on it now. I am a girl. If I meet a guy and I at least don't think about what it might be like to sleep with him on the 1st date. I won't have a second date. What does this girl need a "baby daddy". I think you are being strung a long for what ever reason. Don't believe the myth that women don't like sex. Like it just as much as men just don't need to announce it at every turn like men. If you are not 5'6" and 350lbs and have some other major turn off then move on to the next one.


This ^ and your sister called it. This is 2016. Sex by third date is common if both are willing. Unless you are fine with a sexless relationship, you need to let this one go. Stopping making her excuses for her about her relationship baggage. It's not going away. Consider yourself lucky. You get to see your future. So many people here are in sexless marriages (or nearly so) and never saw it coming.
#$#$
Anonymous wrote:
ZachF wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If your husband is badgering you for sex, and you don't really feel like, but you agree, that's consent. That's 100% not rape. Stop using rape to describe not rape.


Your right. But if you read the link you will find it could be sexual coercion.


I agree that's possible, but it wasn't PP's example. She said it was sex by fraud because if she'd known he was the type of person who cheats, she would not have slept with him. That's different than coercion. It retroactively converts even freely-given consent to rape any time someone comes to realize their relationship partner is a loser.


Wow, SMH. Since I've been accused as being "rough," I'll try to temper my comments for the more delicate readers. I'm glad for the education and for knowing their are people out there who really think this way. May I be so lucky to spot them before they spot me so I know to steer clear. By these definitions of rape, I figure about 99% of us can say they were the victim of rape by the time we reach 40, if not a lot sooner.

Consensual sex acts retroactively convertible to rape if either party discovers the other wasn't honest about his/her intentions, feelings, used coercion, or was possibly cheating? Damn, I have definitely been raped in the past. I may be being raped on a regular basis right now! By definition, I won't know until later, right?


so you are cool with a guy dressing as a girl, picking you up and giving you a BJ... and then finding out later it was not a girl?

Wow, you are all over the place. You should start a new discussion thread with that question. Probably get a few guys t reply who would be cool with it and go back for more.
Anonymous wrote:
ZachF wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If your husband is badgering you for sex, and you don't really feel like, but you agree, that's consent. That's 100% not rape. Stop using rape to describe not rape.


You seem pretty invested in labeling it "not rape." So, fine, if a man is coercing, badgering, and Not Raping (tm) his wife in a way that causes her to "consent" (wink, wink) and inflicts sexual trauma, are we cool with that?


PP. here.

It is disappointing how feminists speak of empowerment, and equality, even as they readily abdicate their own agency in making decisions to men.

Not being content with misappropriating the word "rape," you've now moved to second best with "coercing." I guess this is when he says that you hurt his feelings because you won't sleep with him? Is it "rapey" when he gives you the silent treatment? Are you not in control of your own body? You so badly want men to be responsible for what is ultimately your decision that you will use any inflammatory and loaded language as a weapon to so long as it suits your agenda.


Well, this feminist agrees with you. But I was born in the 60s, so perhaps a different kind of feminist than the PP above.


The crux of this is when the request for sex is "badgering." If it's "badgering," then it's coercive. If you ask for sex once or state your desire to have sex once, that's not coercive. It's an expression of desire. If the other person shares the desire, great! If the person doesn't share the desire, no big deal. Ask a second time, a little later, you're still in pretty much the same territory. Do it enough times that it constitutes badgering, and you are no longer attempting to communicate your desire or ask for information about the other person's desire. Your repeated requests are an attempt to pressure the person into having sex even though you know that the person has no desire to do so. You are now a shitty person.


Shitty, yes. Pathetic even, begging for sex. Call him a whiny bitch if you like. But if all his begging, or badgering if you like that term, leads her to giving in just to shut him up, it's still not rape.

It is interesting. As a guy I have had women do the same to me and women who I am not in a relationship with let a lone married. Does this definition apply to women? Remember our society expects a man to be rejected by a woman for sex. With women it is different. If she decides she wants sex with a man, the man has no say in the matter. No man would ever not want to have sex with any women...right?

Yes my brother, we were both raped. We need to start a support group.
Go to: