Anonymous wrote:ZachF wrote:You love him but you decided one day to completely blow up his whole life and nearly destroy his marriage? Sorry, you are a crazy bitch. I'm not judging you for the affair at all, just how you handled it.
He knows you are a crazy bitch who can't be trusted. He knows you could, and in fact have caused him a huge amount of grief with his wife who has stuck by him after your moment of selfish revelation. But, he's reaching out to you again?
Honey, that isn't out of love. Only a man equally as crazy as you would love someone so malicious and untrustworthy. That's the little head doing all the thinking.
Hey, if the sex was great and you want more, the go for it.
I just realized (duh) that people who are registered can now be understood to be denizens of the explicit forum. But the "honey" says it anyway. Objectify away, Zach!
Anonymous wrote:ZachF wrote:While he was ignoring you, you should have sat your bare ass on his pillow while ignoring him back.
+1 ZachF I'm starting to like you.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If you like sex, just walk away from this woman. Your sister is probably right, knowing the situation better than we do. Walk away. Guys, if you're dating a woman and she's not excited about sex with you at this point, this is a red flag that if you marry her you'll being joining the sexless marriage club.
+100 see this discussion http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/563311.page your about to join it so you mind as well start responding on it now. I am a girl. If I meet a guy and I at least don't think about what it might be like to sleep with him on the 1st date. I won't have a second date. What does this girl need a "baby daddy". I think you are being strung a long for what ever reason. Don't believe the myth that women don't like sex. Like it just as much as men just don't need to announce it at every turn like men. If you are not 5'6" and 350lbs and have some other major turn off then move on to the next one.
Anonymous wrote:ZachF wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If your husband is badgering you for sex, and you don't really feel like, but you agree, that's consent. That's 100% not rape. Stop using rape to describe not rape.
Your right. But if you read the link you will find it could be sexual coercion.
I agree that's possible, but it wasn't PP's example. She said it was sex by fraud because if she'd known he was the type of person who cheats, she would not have slept with him. That's different than coercion. It retroactively converts even freely-given consent to rape any time someone comes to realize their relationship partner is a loser.
Wow, SMH. Since I've been accused as being "rough," I'll try to temper my comments for the more delicate readers. I'm glad for the education and for knowing their are people out there who really think this way. May I be so lucky to spot them before they spot me so I know to steer clear. By these definitions of rape, I figure about 99% of us can say they were the victim of rape by the time we reach 40, if not a lot sooner.
Consensual sex acts retroactively convertible to rape if either party discovers the other wasn't honest about his/her intentions, feelings, used coercion, or was possibly cheating? Damn, I have definitely been raped in the past. I may be being raped on a regular basis right now! By definition, I won't know until later, right?
so you are cool with a guy dressing as a girl, picking you up and giving you a BJ... and then finding out later it was not a girl?
Anonymous wrote:ZachF wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If your husband is badgering you for sex, and you don't really feel like, but you agree, that's consent. That's 100% not rape. Stop using rape to describe not rape.
You seem pretty invested in labeling it "not rape." So, fine, if a man is coercing, badgering, and Not Raping (tm) his wife in a way that causes her to "consent" (wink, wink) and inflicts sexual trauma, are we cool with that?
PP. here.
It is disappointing how feminists speak of empowerment, and equality, even as they readily abdicate their own agency in making decisions to men.
Not being content with misappropriating the word "rape," you've now moved to second best with "coercing." I guess this is when he says that you hurt his feelings because you won't sleep with him? Is it "rapey" when he gives you the silent treatment? Are you not in control of your own body? You so badly want men to be responsible for what is ultimately your decision that you will use any inflammatory and loaded language as a weapon to so long as it suits your agenda.
Well, this feminist agrees with you. But I was born in the 60s, so perhaps a different kind of feminist than the PP above.
The crux of this is when the request for sex is "badgering." If it's "badgering," then it's coercive. If you ask for sex once or state your desire to have sex once, that's not coercive. It's an expression of desire. If the other person shares the desire, great! If the person doesn't share the desire, no big deal. Ask a second time, a little later, you're still in pretty much the same territory. Do it enough times that it constitutes badgering, and you are no longer attempting to communicate your desire or ask for information about the other person's desire. Your repeated requests are an attempt to pressure the person into having sex even though you know that the person has no desire to do so. You are now a shitty person.
Shitty, yes. Pathetic even, begging for sex. Call him a whiny bitch if you like. But if all his begging, or badgering if you like that term, leads her to giving in just to shut him up, it's still not rape.
It is interesting. As a guy I have had women do the same to me and women who I am not in a relationship with let a lone married. Does this definition apply to women? Remember our society expects a man to be rejected by a woman for sex. With women it is different. If she decides she wants sex with a man, the man has no say in the matter. No man would ever not want to have sex with any women...right?