Baby is two weeks and gender disappointment hasn’t gone away

[Anonymous]

I had my heart set on one gender and really thought that’s what we were having. Waited till birth to find out and was happy to have a healthy baby but immediately felt a bit gutted.

I figured I was just exhausted, but the feeling still hasn’t gone away. Wondering if this could be PPD? I love my baby, of course. Hate feeling disappointed when I look at it.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like it could be PPD brewing

[Anonymous]

Yeah it took me about two months to appreciate my daughter even though she wasn’t a boy. Give yourself time to readjust what you thought this parenting thing would look like.

[Anonymous]

Can be part of ppd. You need to find something about having a newborn that makes you happy- dressing the baby in cute clothes? Mom exercise boot camps? Visiting friends?

[Anonymous]

You just referred to your baby as "it". Really sounds like PPD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like it could be PPD brewing

Talk to your OB/GYN about your feelings and your concern that it might be PPD. Or even mention it to your ped. Just reach out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You just referred to your baby as "it". Really sounds like PPD.

She used no gender identifiers in the entire post, likely just to prevent “but girls are wonderful!” or “you’ll be a great boy mom!” responses.

Just hold on a bit OP. In a few more weeks when your baby’s personality starts to show, you’ll forget all about this.

[Anonymous]

You women really astound me. Unless you actually pick the sex of the embryo during IVF, ITS A 50-50 chance. If your baby is healthy, you should be happy. If you need some perspective, read some of the international news about what parents in other countries are going through right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had my heart set on one gender and really thought that’s what we were having. Waited till birth to find out and was happy to have a healthy baby but immediately felt a bit gutted.

I figured I was just exhausted, but the feeling still hasn’t gone away. Wondering if this could be PPD? I love my baby, of course. Hate feeling disappointed when I look at it.

That's what happens when you decide to have a "surprise" (hint: it's always a boy or girl...not a big surprise) and then spend the ensuing months fixating on the gender you just know it is. Now just relax, enjoy the baby, and realize that you did actually want x and not y. It's ok. You'll adjust. Next time find out ahead of time and you have tons of time to go through that before the baby is born.

[Anonymous]

Give the baby up for adoption. No one needs to raise a child they don't want.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand - if you had a particular gender you wanted why not find out sooner so you could manage expectations before the kid is born?

[Anonymous]

To be clear you can also suffer from antenatal depression. Thr same hormones 100% can cause depression before the baby is born. Plus with the COVID surge you may be putting your disappointment about other issues here.

Please talk to someone.

[Anonymous]

You should thank your lucky stars that your baby is healthy. Go speak to a therapist about PPD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand - if you had a particular gender you wanted why not find out sooner so you could manage expectations before the kid is born?

This.

[Anonymous]

I’m almost 2 years in and still a little sad and disappointed about having a boy. I love him beyond words, but it’s still there. It might always be, it’s just how it goes.