Baby is two weeks and gender disappointment hasn’t gone away

[Anonymous]

My kid was born disabled. I’d loved to have simply been disappointed by gender.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid was born disabled. I’d loved to have simply been disappointed by gender.

IVF patient here.

[Anonymous]

I know 2 Indian families who terminated because it wasn't a boy.

May next time try that tactic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid was born disabled. I’d loved to have simply been disappointed by gender.

IVF patient here.

Bronze and silver medalist in the woe is me olympics, who will take the gold?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid was born disabled. I’d loved to have simply been disappointed by gender.

IVF patient here.

Bronze and silver medalist in the woe is me olympics, who will take the gold?

Don't cry for me. Have a boy and a girl, maybe because I didn't build up bad karma valuing one sex over the other, and 7 embryos in the freezer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know 2 Indian families who terminated because it wasn't a boy.

May next time try that tactic.

Cheaper than IVF!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid was born disabled. I’d loved to have simply been disappointed by gender.

IVF patient here.

Bronze and silver medalist in the woe is me olympics, who will take the gold?

Don't cry for me. Have a boy and a girl, maybe because I didn't build up bad karma valuing one sex over the other, and 7 embryos in the freezer.

And we’re supposed to care… why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You just referred to your baby as "it". Really sounds like PPD.

+1

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You just referred to your baby as "it". Really sounds like PPD.

She used no gender identifiers in the entire post, likely just to prevent “but girls are wonderful!” or “you’ll be a great boy mom!” responses.

Just hold on a bit OP. In a few more weeks when your baby’s personality starts to show, you’ll forget all about this.

I have never heard of somebody calling their newborn it. If she wanted gender neutral terms, baby works just fine. Now that you mention it, its weird not to mention the sex at all, like she doesn't want to hear about the upsides.

Np, and honestly I think the use of the term “it” shows just how serious this is. She could’ve easily chosen “the baby” or “DC”. It sounds like there’s a very high likelihood of PPD. Op should be immediately screened and get some help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure this will help but fwiw gender is a lot more fluid these days. What we think of as a traditional boy and a traditional girl 10 years ago is slipping away a little. Maybe it might help a little to think of the baby as a kid, and keep all sorts of traditional-boy (sports, mud, I dunno) and traditional-girl (pink, baby dolls, toddler cooking stoves, whateves) open to them. It will turn your kid into a better little person anyway (boys need to cook too and girls love mud etc), and might be a workaround for your feelings here.

This. Don’t assume because of the body parts your child will be some kind of typical boy or girl. You do not know.

Meanwhile please do talk to your doctor I bet PPD is playing a role.

[Anonymous]

This post is exhibit A in why most people should find out the sex during a sono early on. It’s a shame you are wasting this special time trying to accept the situation now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m almost 2 years in and still a little sad and disappointed about having a boy. I love him beyond words, but it’s still there. It might always be, it’s just how it goes.

No, that’s not how it goes. This isn’t okay or normal. You might want to get screened for depression.

Seconding this. This is unusual. I would try to address the feelings. It seems like they might be about something deeper.

[Anonymous]

We knew we would be having only one child and I really had my heart set on a boy. We found out at the 20-week scan and there were a few days of mixed feelings when we found we were having a girl. It was all a distant memory by the time the baby was born and now I cannot imagine life any other way. Give it time, OP.

[Anonymous]

OP two things: 1) definitely bring this up with your doctor (OB or pediatrician, whoever you see next) because it could be a sign of PPD, and 2) just keep taking care of your baby and don't beat yourself up.

It's not exactly the same but I was confounded to give birth to a bald baby. All the kids in my family come out with a full head of hair, to the point you could put it up in pigtails in the hospital if you wanted to. I loved her to pieces and thought she was gorgeous, but I still was startled by it anew every time I looked at her for the first several weeks, and kind of apologized for it when people met her "can you believe she's bald? Hahaha so weird. . . " Expectations are strange when you're sure something will be one way for 8+ months and then it's completely not that way; it will take a minute to shake it.

[Anonymous]

I really want to hear from you OP. I'm worried about you.

Please let us know you are ok and you were screened for PPD. PPD is no joke and it's not your fault.