Girlfriend Is Lazy

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend is incredibly lazy. She doesn’t cook and barely cleans. She is very messy. I cook and clean. I grew up with a military dad who taught me it was important to be independent and able to handle those responsibilities. I grew up doing my own laundry and cooking many of my own meals ( after school) since I was like 12. She grew up with a mom who did her laundry and always cleaned up after her. I do love her but I’m starting to really worry about being with someone who is so messy. I can look past the cooking, but never cleaning up after herself is irritating.

[Anonymous]

Don't marry a slob. Man or woman.

[Anonymous]

Is she lazy in bed?

[Anonymous]

She will drive you crazy and you will drive her crazy. Seriously this sounds like a recipe for disaster.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Some examples are leaving food out in the counter all day long, never cleaning her dishes, leaving food and cups all over the place, leaving her makeup and everything all over the counters, leaving her clothes all over floor. I’m a very neat person and I’ve never dated someone so messy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she lazy in bed?

OP here. Thus has nothing to do with her being messy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Some examples are leaving food out in the counter all day long, never cleaning her dishes, leaving food and cups all over the place, leaving her makeup and everything all over the counters, leaving her clothes all over floor. I’m a very neat person and I’ve never dated someone so messy.

She sounds like a slob.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Some examples are leaving food out in the counter all day long, never cleaning her dishes, leaving food and cups all over the place, leaving her makeup and everything all over the counters, leaving her clothes all over floor. I’m a very neat person and I’ve never dated someone so messy.

OP here. Another thing is her awareness level is just not there. I will clean everything up ( doing it nightly) and she will eat a snack and leave everything messy again. When I ask her to clean it up, she acts bewildered like she didn’t even leave a mess.

I’m not super crazy but I do like a neat house. I make sure the kitchen is clean and things are nice and clean since I have a small condo and it can look messy easily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she lazy in bed?

OP here. Thus has nothing to do with her being messy.

I think the person is asking if she is lazy about everything. She might not have the same housekeeping standards you do, but might be industrious in other areas.

[Anonymous]

No, no, and no. Fwiw it has more to do with personality than upbringing as I have seen very different kids from the same family. That’s why it’s so hard to change. I naturally notice what needs to be picked up or straightened when I walk across the room, and it’s torture to be at a house where everything is in disarray. I can’t imagine living in a house lie that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Some examples are leaving food out in the counter all day long, never cleaning her dishes, leaving food and cups all over the place, leaving her makeup and everything all over the counters, leaving her clothes all over floor. I’m a very neat person and I’ve never dated someone so messy.

OP here. Another thing is her awareness level is just not there. I will clean everything up ( doing it nightly) and she will eat a snack and leave everything messy again. When I ask her to clean it up, she acts bewildered like she didn’t even leave a mess.

I’m not super crazy but I do like a neat house. I make sure the kitchen is clean and things are nice and clean since I have a small condo and it can look messy easily.

You might be super crazy…to her. This isn’t an objective measure (to a point, your girlfriend’s cleanliness standards do sound borderline hazardous). It’d a compatibility issue, not a “I’m right you’re wrong” issue.

Also I bet she has adhd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Some examples are leaving food out in the counter all day long, never cleaning her dishes, leaving food and cups all over the place, leaving her makeup and everything all over the counters, leaving her clothes all over floor. I’m a very neat person and I’ve never dated someone so messy.

OP here. Another thing is her awareness level is just not there. I will clean everything up ( doing it nightly) and she will eat a snack and leave everything messy again. When I ask her to clean it up, she acts bewildered like she didn’t even leave a mess.

I’m not super crazy but I do like a neat house. I make sure the kitchen is clean and things are nice and clean since I have a small condo and it can look messy easily.

You might be super crazy…to her. This isn’t an objective measure (to a point, your girlfriend’s cleanliness standards do sound borderline hazardous). It’d a compatibility issue, not a “I’m right you’re wrong” issue.

Also I bet she has adhd.

OP here. She doesn’t have adhd. I think she is used to others cleaning for her. She went from her mom doing everything ( her dad was also one who never cooked or cleaned) and then had a housekeeper clean for her until we moved in. She had said many times why I don’t just leave the mess for the housekeeper. I’m not leaving dishes in the sink for two weeks. That’s nasty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Some examples are leaving food out in the counter all day long, never cleaning her dishes, leaving food and cups all over the place, leaving her makeup and everything all over the counters, leaving her clothes all over floor. I’m a very neat person and I’ve never dated someone so messy.

OP here. Another thing is her awareness level is just not there. I will clean everything up ( doing it nightly) and she will eat a snack and leave everything messy again. When I ask her to clean it up, she acts bewildered like she didn’t even leave a mess.

I’m not super crazy but I do like a neat house. I make sure the kitchen is clean and things are nice and clean since I have a small condo and it can look messy easily.

You might be super crazy…to her. This isn’t an objective measure (to a point, your girlfriend’s cleanliness standards do sound borderline hazardous). It’d a compatibility issue, not a “I’m right you’re wrong” issue.

Also I bet she has adhd.

OP here. She doesn’t have adhd. I think she is used to others cleaning for her. She went from her mom doing everything ( her dad was also one who never cooked or cleaned) and then had a housekeeper clean for her until we moved in. She had said many times why I don’t just leave the mess for the housekeeper. I’m not leaving dishes in the sink for two weeks. That’s nasty.

Not only is she nasty she's got a nasty attitude towards service people. Let this one go.

[Anonymous]

I’m very clean myself and your situation would drive me crazy.
I think you should break up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Some examples are leaving food out in the counter all day long, never cleaning her dishes, leaving food and cups all over the place, leaving her makeup and everything all over the counters, leaving her clothes all over floor. I’m a very neat person and I’ve never dated someone so messy.

OP here. Another thing is her awareness level is just not there. I will clean everything up ( doing it nightly) and she will eat a snack and leave everything messy again. When I ask her to clean it up, she acts bewildered like she didn’t even leave a mess.

I’m not super crazy but I do like a neat house. I make sure the kitchen is clean and things are nice and clean since I have a small condo and it can look messy easily.

You might be super crazy…to her. This isn’t an objective measure (to a point, your girlfriend’s cleanliness standards do sound borderline hazardous). It’d a compatibility issue, not a “I’m right you’re wrong” issue.

Also I bet she has adhd.

OP here. She doesn’t have adhd. I think she is used to others cleaning for her. She went from her mom doing everything ( her dad was also one who never cooked or cleaned) and then had a housekeeper clean for her until we moved in. She had said many times why I don’t just leave the mess for the housekeeper. I’m not leaving dishes in the sink for two weeks. That’s nasty.

Unless she's bringing housekeeper money to the table, I'd dump her. Honestly I probably still would because I wouldn't want my kids to be raised with this attitude - leave a trail of filth in your wake and wait for someone else to pick up after you. That's different from inattentive or just kind of messy, it feels more like a character flaw.