Girlfriend Is Lazy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I knew I’d found “the one” because I realized we perfectly complimented one another when it came to chores. I have no issue doing laundry and floors. He obsessed over the kitchen and lawn. We each have a bathroom we’re responsible for. It was completely unspoken and started when he was staying over a couple nights a week. He moved in a few months after that and now it’s been years.

The thing is, you will have chores to do the rest of your life. You’ll never get to stop picking up and cleaning the house unless you get a live-in housekeeper to look after you daily. If this bothers you now, imagine it down the line when you have a kid or two making a mess, a wife making a mess, a busy life.

That’s what you think . Your relationship won’t last long

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend is the same way... I've lived with her for 3 years and I've never once ever seen her so the dishes....one time I left them in the sink to see how long it would take for her to do them....the dishes stayed there for a whole month and a half before I took care of them.....I'm honestly beside myself on this subject...it drives me a absolute nuts.

[Anonymous]

I take that back ..what she did in her mind to help the issue was dump massive amounts of baking soda over the dishes.... I absolutely went off on her over this....why would you just not do the freaking dishes

[Anonymous]

This is 2 years old

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Some examples are leaving food out in the counter all day long, never cleaning her dishes, leaving food and cups all over the place, leaving her makeup and everything all over the counters, leaving her clothes all over floor. I’m a very neat person and I’ve never dated someone so messy.

OP here. Another thing is her awareness level is just not there. I will clean everything up ( doing it nightly) and she will eat a snack and leave everything messy again. When I ask her to clean it up, she acts bewildered like she didn’t even leave a mess.

I’m not super crazy but I do like a neat house. I make sure the kitchen is clean and things are nice and clean since I have a small condo and it can look messy easily.

You might be super crazy…to her. This isn’t an objective measure (to a point, your girlfriend’s cleanliness standards do sound borderline hazardous). It’d a compatibility issue, not a “I’m right you’re wrong” issue.

Also I bet she has adhd.

OP here. She doesn’t have adhd. I think she is used to others cleaning for her. She went from her mom doing everything ( her dad was also one who never cooked or cleaned) and then had a housekeeper clean for her until we moved in. She had said many times why I don’t just leave the mess for the housekeeper. I’m not leaving dishes in the sink for two weeks. That’s nasty.

Unless she's bringing housekeeper money to the table, I'd dump her. Honestly I probably still would because I wouldn't want my kids to be raised with this attitude - leave a trail of filth in your wake and wait for someone else to pick up after you. That's different from inattentive or just kind of messy, it feels more like a character flaw.

I was the kid in this scenario and resented living in squalor and having a mother who thought that home making was beneath her. Don’t do this to your future kids!

[Anonymous]

Run away

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My girlfriend is the same way... I've lived with her for 3 years and I've never once ever seen her so the dishes....one time I left them in the sink to see how long it would take for her to do them....the dishes stayed there for a whole month and a half before I took care of them.....I'm honestly beside myself on this subject...it drives me a absolute nuts.

that's absolutely disgusting. Why did you let them sit for 1.5 months? You are just as bad in a different way.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are the lazy one if you don't take action. You do not prefer *this one* to be your girlfriend.

[Anonymous]

I have been married for fifteen years and mom to three. DH is a neat freak. I’m not a slob but I do not like cooking or cleaning. Before I got married, I rarely cooked so I had very few dishes to do besides coffee cups and cereal bowls. I am smart and had a great career.

I’m now a SAHM to our three children. I have no problems cleaning up after myself but my three children make messes everywhere they go. DH gets home from work to a dirty table and sink full of dirty dishes. Laundry never fully gets completed because as soon as I finish, there more loads of laundry to do.

We have a weekly housekeeper.

Almost every couple we know has one clean person and one not. Usually it is the wife who is cleaning constantly with lots of resentment towards the husband who not only does not help clean after the kids but is a slob himself. This seems actually normal.

I also know guys like you and it sounds tiring. My friend is married to one. She has a demanding full time job, earns more than the husband and has 3 kids. Her husband is OCD and makes the family make their beds daily. My friend has to wake up at 430. I would just be like F you to my husband.

[Anonymous]

Race of girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a slob before marriage and children. But never cleaning, like not scrubbing bathroom ever, never vacuuming, never cooking, oh that will never change. Will be hard for you with children unless you can afford a weekly housekeeper plus carryout for 4 every night for dinner. I'd bail unless you have a lot of money.

OP here. I have high HHI but I’m not going to rider out every night. First, it’s unhealthy, and secondly, I want to teach future kids how to cook. I don’t do all the deep cleaning but I do my own laundry, cook, load and empty dishwasher, hand wash dishes, and clean up the house. Her housekeeper does all of the deep cleaning. I was not a messy person and didn’t think I needed a housekeeper every week. I might have to if I want to make this work.

I don’t want to break up because it’s not a deal breaker for me. I love everything else about her.

Ok, so are you just venting then? Not sure what you are looking for here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is 2 years old

Are 2023-model-year girlfriends better than 2021?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like ADD to me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she lazy in bed?

OP here. Thus has nothing to do with her being messy.

I think the person is asking if she is lazy about everything. She might not have the same housekeeping standards you do, but might be industrious in other areas.

DP here. Cleanliness in the house and personal hygiene are absolutely related.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Race of girlfriend?

WTF