In this forum we typically hear from the young person who cut off their parent, sibling, or IL

[Anonymous]

But were you the one who got cut off? Has your child cut you off?

[Anonymous]

Its not usually a "young" person, it is usually a middle - aged person who has had a life time of grief from the sibling and / or parent.

I didn't cut off my mother til I was 48

[Anonymous]

http://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/why-estranged-parents-forums.html has a lot of interesting insights.

[Anonymous]

I think it's because they don't get a very sympathetic reception here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's because they don't get a very sympathetic reception here.

A narcissist generally doesn’t say “I’m a narcissist.”

[Anonymous]

Not all parents who were cut off are deserving as one might think. No one questions the person who instigates the estrangement, despite no information. They just always always get carte blanche. Watch this develop here...flames will engulf this entire thread.

Narcissism occurs in many ways.

There's a lot of literature on the subject lately- The Atlantic, The Economist. NY Times, etc. This has seeped into American culture in ways that are surprising.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's because they don't get a very sympathetic reception here.

A narcissist generally doesn’t say “I’m a narcissist.”

What does that have to do with it? We don’t know if the younger person cutting off their parents is the narcissist, or the parents, or more likely, none of them, since it is a completely overused term.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not all parents who were cut off are deserving as one might think. No one questions the person who instigates the estrangement, despite no information. They just always always get carte blanche. Watch this develop here...flames will engulf this entire thread.

Narcissism occurs in many ways.

There's a lot of literature on the subject lately- The Atlantic, The Economist. NY Times, etc. This has seeped into American culture in ways that are surprising.

The person who instigates the estrangement has usually been questioned for a long time by that point.

[Anonymous]

Well, my mom is high or drunk right now, so she’s not trolling parenting boards.

[Anonymous]

No one is entitled to impose into anyone else’s life so by definition the people doing the cutting off are always on the “right side”. The attitude that your adult children owe you something is exactly what leads to estrangement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one is entitled to impose into anyone else’s life so by definition the people doing the cutting off are always on the “right side”. The attitude that your adult children owe you something is exactly what leads to estrangement.

It’s not always so black and white. Our DD cut us off b/c she thought our rules that drugs may not enter our home was unreasonable. She also thought that dating a twice convicted drug dealer was acceptable and that bringing that individual into our home, when we were not home was acceptable. Worse, she brought this creep around her minor brother & sister, while we were out of town. She opted to leave, drop out of college & cut us off because these behaviors were not acceptable in our home. When I say drugs, I’m referring to pills & LSD. It’s horrid and sad but she refuses help & therapy. She is her own worst enemy. As parents, we have to protect all of our kids, particularly the minors. As she’s over 18, we can’t do much except offer help, therapy & support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one is entitled to impose into anyone else’s life so by definition the people doing the cutting off are always on the “right side”. The attitude that your adult children owe you something is exactly what leads to estrangement.

OP here. I have never cut anyone off, nor has anyone done it to me. I’ve seen it happen among my friends though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is entitled to impose into anyone else’s life so by definition the people doing the cutting off are always on the “right side”. The attitude that your adult children owe you something is exactly what leads to estrangement.

It’s not always so black and white. Our DD cut us off b/c she thought our rules that drugs may not enter our home was unreasonable. She also thought that dating a twice convicted drug dealer was acceptable and that bringing that individual into our home, when we were not home was acceptable. Worse, she brought this creep around her minor brother & sister, while we were out of town. She opted to leave, drop out of college & cut us off because these behaviors were not acceptable in our home. When I say drugs, I’m referring to pills & LSD. It’s horrid and sad but she refuses help & therapy. She is her own worst enemy. As parents, we have to protect all of our kids, particularly the minors. As she’s over 18, we can’t do much except offer help, therapy & support.

that’s really sad—but I can’t help but wonder what happened to your daughter that made her want to escape through drugs. I’d be exploring that if I were you. Happy, healthy people don’t do drugs for the most part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is entitled to impose into anyone else’s life so by definition the people doing the cutting off are always on the “right side”. The attitude that your adult children owe you something is exactly what leads to estrangement.

It’s not always so black and white. Our DD cut us off b/c she thought our rules that drugs may not enter our home was unreasonable. She also thought that dating a twice convicted drug dealer was acceptable and that bringing that individual into our home, when we were not home was acceptable. Worse, she brought this creep around her minor brother & sister, while we were out of town. She opted to leave, drop out of college & cut us off because these behaviors were not acceptable in our home. When I say drugs, I’m referring to pills & LSD. It’s horrid and sad but she refuses help & therapy. She is her own worst enemy. As parents, we have to protect all of our kids, particularly the minors. As she’s over 18, we can’t do much except offer help, therapy & support.

that’s really sad—but I can’t help but wonder what happened to your daughter that made her want to escape through drugs. I’d be exploring that if I were you. Happy, healthy people don’t do drugs for the most part.

Unfair and ridiculous remark.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not all parents who were cut off are deserving as one might think. No one questions the person who instigates the estrangement, despite no information. They just always always get carte blanche. Watch this develop here...flames will engulf this entire thread.

Narcissism occurs in many ways.

There's a lot of literature on the subject lately- The Atlantic, The Economist. NY Times, etc. This has seeped into American culture in ways that are surprising.

The person who instigates the estrangement has usually been questioned for a long time by that point.

By whom?