Ask me anything: I am a kept woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would wager that if an AMA thread were started by someone claiming to be a "kept" man, most guys will react with indifference and a few will want to know how they can get in on the act!

I'm the 29yr old who posted my story on the last page. I thought about started that thread but it's pointless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Either she dates a guy who spends money on her so she can save whatever money she makes OR she can date a guy who doesn't.



C'mon folks, she's not looking for rights to assets. She's getting good sex from an attractive guy who spends his money keeping her comfortable. When he's done spending money on her, she'll do whatever she's currently doing only without his money.

Ha. She's currently hanging out in her married boyfriend's apartment and spending her days pampering herself at the salon, working out at the gym, traveling..all paid for by - Her Married Boyfriend.

If her boyfriend's money suddenly dries up Op will absolutely not being doing what she is currently doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Either she dates a guy who spends money on her so she can save whatever money she makes OR she can date a guy who doesn't.



C'mon folks, she's not looking for rights to assets. She's getting good sex from an attractive guy who spends his money keeping her comfortable. When he's done spending money on her, she'll do whatever she's currently doing only without his money.

Ha. She's currently hanging out in her married boyfriend's apartment and spending her days pampering herself at the salon, working out at the gym, traveling..all paid for by - Her Married Boyfriend.

If her boyfriend's money suddenly dries up Op will absolutely not being doing what she is currently doing.

Either way, she'll be no worse off than the countless other 24 year old interior designers.

Probably better off since she can use her substantial savings

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would wager that if an AMA thread were started by someone claiming to be a "kept" man, most guys will react with indifference and a few will want to know how they can get in on the act!

I'm the 29yr old who posted my story on the last page. I thought about started that thread but it's pointless.

Your situation was a bit different in that your boyfriend more or less set you up monetarily and made it so that you were free to walk when you felt it was time to do so. Also, you are now older and long since out of that situation. You seem to see no problems with what the Op is doing but that might be because your own situation was handled in a much different way by the man you were involved with.

At any rate, as the mother of sons, I would be heartbroken if they wound up in a situation like the Op's. No way would I want them to put their own lives/dreams/accomplishments on hold for another (older more powerful) person like that. What a use.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Either she dates a guy who spends money on her so she can save whatever money she makes OR she can date a guy who doesn't.



C'mon folks, she's not looking for rights to assets. She's getting good sex from an attractive guy who spends his money keeping her comfortable. When he's done spending money on her, she'll do whatever she's currently doing only without his money.

Ha. She's currently hanging out in her married boyfriend's apartment and spending her days pampering herself at the salon, working out at the gym, traveling..all paid for by - Her Married Boyfriend.

If her boyfriend's money suddenly dries up Op will absolutely not being doing what she is currently doing.

Either way, she'll be no worse off than the countless other 24 year old interior designers.

Probably better off since she can use her substantial savings

That's silly. I didn't even have a college degree at all when I met my college drop out husband. Somehow we managed to do just fine for ourselves.

Don't sell yourselves short.

[Anonymous]

OP, please come back. All this morality is just boring.

Are you feeling better? Do you have plans with your guy this weekend? What is your dog up to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, please come back. All this morality is just boring.

Are you feeling better? Do you have plans with your guy this weekend? What is your dog up to?

It is just vulnerable women guarding their turf against women like OP.

I want OP to come back if only to send these women into a tizzy again. She is like a breath of fresh air on this site where hypocrisy reigns supreme.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would wager that if an AMA thread were started by someone claiming to be a "kept" man, most guys will react with indifference and a few will want to know how they can get in on the act!

I'm the 29yr old who posted my story on the last page. I thought about started that thread but it's pointless.

Your situation was a bit different in that your boyfriend more or less set you up monetarily and made it so that you were free to walk when you felt it was time to do so. Also, you are now older and long since out of that situation. You seem to see no problems with what the Op is doing but that might be because your own situation was handled in a much different way by the man you were involved with.

At any rate, as the mother of sons, I would be heartbroken if they wound up in a situation like the Op's. No way would I want them to put their own lives/dreams/accomplishments on hold for another (older more powerful) person like that. What a use.

He didn't make it so I could do anything. At the time I was doing what I wanted because I enjoyed his company. He enjoyed spending the money. I made a choice to continue on because the experience was interesting for me. I was free to "walk" because I didn't "need" the money or the stuff even though I enjoyed them.

Just because she enjoys the lifestyle doesn't mean she isn't free to leave them behind if she so decides. I'm not sure why so many posters believe she's somehow trapped because he's spending money on her. She can simply stop taking the stuff and the money. None of this makes it "right" but the idea that she's stuck is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To those who are so critical of OP's lifestyle, how many women do you know who don't earn any money and rely on their husband's income for their lifestyle?

Do you view them as "kept" women who lack self esteem and do you warn them that when they get older and they lose their looks, their husbands will dump them for a younger woman?

As a SAHM w/3 kids and a substantial degree/resume of my own, I call BS on your nonsense, PP! MY DH may very likely become a SAHD in the next five years because we are taking turns with child rearing and pooling our resources. Get over your screaming misogyny and jealousy. So many posters on DCUM -- many, many of you are lonely men, I suppose -- write these comments about SAHMs, but you know in your dateless hearts that the classic one income relationship is a rare experience now. Other posters on other threads have written miles on nonsense on the topic.

Bottom line: a marriage involves two people making a lifetime commitment of trust to each other and to the kids they produce. OP doesn't have that. In fact, she has absolutely nothing. No job. No resume. Not youth for very much longer. The reality is that she's unemployed and as she gets older is dooming herself to longterm unemployment and reduced lifetime earnings.

SAHMs -- as I've been told over and over again by former SAHMs who've reentered the workforce once their kids are in MS -- don't face that difficulty. In DC at least, once a SAHM or SAHD gets his/her first job, each subsequent employer says "S/he stayed home with the kids", points out four or five others in the office who did the same thing (sometimes the supervisors themselves, as many are women in their 60s and even early 70s now -- my DH's boss being one of them) and say "you'll do just fine."

False equivocation = B.S.

Your response is ridiculous at so many levels.

But just to pick one: "a lifetime of commitment"? Are you even aware of the divorce statistics? Also, go take a look at the relationship forum where women are tired of their husbands sometimes for entirely frivolous reasons. A lifetime of commitment indeed!

And just FYI, I am married and have been in a committed relationship for over two decades. But I find the pontificating about the lifestyle of the OP nauseating because some of the very people who are criticizing her for being a "kept" woman probably associate without a second thought with "kept" married women.

I live in a fairly affluent area where at least half the women don't earn any money. Their lives revolve around dropping kids to school, going to the gym, lunch with other wives in the same position they are in, going to the hairstylist, an occasional massage, a housekeeper who comes weekly, some have nannys who are there when the kids come back from school and their mother is out doing her thing - and some don't even have children. They are "kept" wives and there is no other way to describe it if you want to call the OP a "kept" woman who lives a shallow existence. They are no better than the OP.

It is not that I would recommend the OP's lifestyle to my daughters but she is doing what many other women do every single day of their lives.

Wow, you have issues -- I would talk to a therapist so you can find a way to think of SAHM's as something other than prostitutes. Good luck to you! You must be the same poster who though men couldn't respect their wives who stayed at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To those who are so critical of OP's lifestyle, how many women do you know who don't earn any money and rely on their husband's income for their lifestyle?

Do you view them as "kept" women who lack self esteem and do you warn them that when they get older and they lose their looks, their husbands will dump them for a younger woman?

As a SAHM w/3 kids and a substantial degree/resume of my own, I call BS on your nonsense, PP! MY DH may very likely become a SAHD in the next five years because we are taking turns with child rearing and pooling our resources. Get over your screaming misogyny and jealousy. So many posters on DCUM -- many, many of you are lonely men, I suppose -- write these comments about SAHMs, but you know in your dateless hearts that the classic one income relationship is a rare experience now. Other posters on other threads have written miles on nonsense on the topic.

Bottom line: a marriage involves two people making a lifetime commitment of trust to each other and to the kids they produce. OP doesn't have that. In fact, she has absolutely nothing. No job. No resume. Not youth for very much longer. The reality is that she's unemployed and as she gets older is dooming herself to longterm unemployment and reduced lifetime earnings.

SAHMs -- as I've been told over and over again by former SAHMs who've reentered the workforce once their kids are in MS -- don't face that difficulty. In DC at least, once a SAHM or SAHD gets his/her first job, each subsequent employer says "S/he stayed home with the kids", points out four or five others in the office who did the same thing (sometimes the supervisors themselves, as many are women in their 60s and even early 70s now -- my DH's boss being one of them) and say "you'll do just fine."

False equivocation = B.S.

Your response is ridiculous at so many levels.

But just to pick one: "a lifetime of commitment"? Are you even aware of the divorce statistics? Also, go take a look at the relationship forum where women are tired of their husbands sometimes for entirely frivolous reasons. A lifetime of commitment indeed!

And just FYI, I am married and have been in a committed relationship for over two decades. But I find the pontificating about the lifestyle of the OP nauseating because some of the very people who are criticizing her for being a "kept" woman probably associate without a second thought with "kept" married women.

I live in a fairly affluent area where at least half the women don't earn any money. Their lives revolve around dropping kids to school, going to the gym, lunch with other wives in the same position they are in, going to the hairstylist, an occasional massage, a housekeeper who comes weekly, some have nannys who are there when the kids come back from school and their mother is out doing her thing - and some don't even have children. They are "kept" wives and there is no other way to describe it if you want to call the OP a "kept" woman who lives a shallow existence. They are no better than the OP.

It is not that I would recommend the OP's lifestyle to my daughters but she is doing what many other women do every single day of their lives.

Wow, you have issues -- I would talk to a therapist so you can find a way to think of SAHM's as something other than prostitutes. Good luck to you! You must be the same poster who though men couldn't respect their wives who stayed at home.

You must have problems with comprehension. Time for remedial lessons.

I don't see anywhere in the post any reference to prostitution. Neither OP nor SAH wives are prostitutes. Both are involved in arrangements that will provide for their comfort with someone else as bread winner. OP offers more than sex based on what she said and so do SAH wives.

[Anonymous]

In the same logic as the pp who says sahms are kept because they and their husband have chosen to have her raise the kids and he make the money, then does that mean that he is really not a parent? Given that he has chosen to leave the majority of the parenting up to her. So if the marriage implodes as you are so certain will happen, I guess he should keep all of the money and she gets to keep the kids. No big deal, he can just buy himself another family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You must have problems with comprehension. Time for remedial lessons.

I don't see anywhere in the post any reference to prostitution. Neither OP nor SAH wives are prostitutes. Both are involved in arrangements that will provide for their comfort with someone else as bread winner. OP offers more than sex based on what she said and so do SAH wives.

What makes it worse is SAH wives are sometimes reluctant sexual partners to their husbands. They view it as a chore. OP appears to be more than willing to provide sex and apparently enjoys it with her guy.

[Anonymous]

Over 1000 posts .........

OP really hit a nerve here.

[Anonymous]

All of these complaining men about how their wives are reluctant sex partners...do you still treat your wives exactly as you did when you were dating or first married and the sex was hot? If so you deserve sex all the time, but if you now take her for granted and don't take her out as much, don't treasure her like you used to, don't look at her like she is the most gorgeous woman in the world, then shut up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would wager that if an AMA thread were started by someone claiming to be a "kept" man, most guys will react with indifference and a few will want to know how they can get in on the act!

I'm the 29yr old who posted my story on the last page. I thought about started that thread but it's pointless.

Your situation was a bit different in that your boyfriend more or less set you up monetarily and made it so that you were free to walk when you felt it was time to do so. Also, you are now older and long since out of that situation. You seem to see no problems with what the Op is doing but that might be because your own situation was handled in a much different way by the man you were involved with.

At any rate, as the mother of sons, I would be heartbroken if they wound up in a situation like the Op's. No way would I want them to put their own lives/dreams/accomplishments on hold for another (older more powerful) person like that. What a use.

He didn't make it so I could do anything. At the time I was doing what I wanted because I enjoyed his company. He enjoyed spending the money. I made a choice to continue on because the experience was interesting for me. I was free to "walk" because I didn't "need" the money or the stuff even though I enjoyed them.

Just because she enjoys the lifestyle doesn't mean she isn't free to leave them behind if she so decides. I'm not sure why so many posters believe she's somehow trapped because he's spending money on her. She can simply stop taking the stuff and the money. None of this makes it "right" but the idea that she's stuck is ridiculous.

You said that you came out 4 million dollars ahead from having that affair. You were in your early 20's so that money came from (?) the guy, right? What am I missing?