Ask me anything: I am a kept woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of these complaining men about how their wives are reluctant sex partners...do you still treat your wives exactly as you did when you were dating or first married and the sex was hot? If so you deserve sex all the time, but if you now take her for granted and don't take her out as much, don't treasure her like you used to, don't look at her like she is the most gorgeous woman in the world, then shut up!

This

Tough to look at her like she is the most gorgeous woman in the world when she is two times the size she was when we got married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of these complaining men about how their wives are reluctant sex partners...do you still treat your wives exactly as you did when you were dating or first married and the sex was hot? If so you deserve sex all the time, but if you now take her for granted and don't take her out as much, don't treasure her like you used to, don't look at her like she is the most gorgeous woman in the world, then shut up!

Maybe if you would fuck your husband wildly and often he would do exactly that. No wonder your husbands are out screwing some young, tight thing instead of dealing with the boring shrew they married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of these complaining men about how their wives are reluctant sex partners...do you still treat your wives exactly as you did when you were dating or first married and the sex was hot? If so you deserve sex all the time, but if you now take her for granted and don't take her out as much, don't treasure her like you used to, don't look at her like she is the most gorgeous woman in the world, then shut up!

This

Tough to look at her like she is the most gorgeous woman in the world when she is two times the size she was when we got married.

And thinks sweatpants and unruly hair are OK 24/7

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of these complaining men about how their wives are reluctant sex partners...do you still treat your wives exactly as you did when you were dating or first married and the sex was hot? If so you deserve sex all the time, but if you now take her for granted and don't take her out as much, don't treasure her like you used to, don't look at her like she is the most gorgeous woman in the world, then shut up!

This

Tough to look at her like she is the most gorgeous woman in the world when she is two times the size she was when we got married.

And thinks sweatpants and unruly hair are OK 24/7

I'd settle for the sweat pants and unruly hair, if she looked less like a sumo wrestler.

[Anonymous]

Well there you go. She knows you aren't attracted to her so you are just walking through the moves in sex. That's not a turn on for her. Sorry she has gotten big but you all seem to have a problem now. Maybe therapy would help. Perhaps it will motivate her to lose weight or perhaps you will find it in your heart to actually think she is gorgeous not in her super model body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would wager that if an AMA thread were started by someone claiming to be a "kept" man, most guys will react with indifference and a few will want to know how they can get in on the act!

I'm the 29yr old who posted my story on the last page. I thought about started that thread but it's pointless.

Your situation was a bit different in that your boyfriend more or less set you up monetarily and made it so that you were free to walk when you felt it was time to do so. Also, you are now older and long since out of that situation. You seem to see no problems with what the Op is doing but that might be because your own situation was handled in a much different way by the man you were involved with.

At any rate, as the mother of sons, I would be heartbroken if they wound up in a situation like the Op's. No way would I want them to put their own lives/dreams/accomplishments on hold for another (older more powerful) person like that. What a use.

He didn't make it so I could do anything. At the time I was doing what I wanted because I enjoyed his company. He enjoyed spending the money. I made a choice to continue on because the experience was interesting for me. I was free to "walk" because I didn't "need" the money or the stuff even though I enjoyed them.

Just because she enjoys the lifestyle doesn't mean she isn't free to leave them behind if she so decides. I'm not sure why so many posters believe she's somehow trapped because he's spending money on her. She can simply stop taking the stuff and the money. None of this makes it "right" but the idea that she's stuck is ridiculous.

You said that you came out 4 million dollars ahead from having that affair. You were in your early 20's so that money came from (?) the guy, right? What am I missing?

What don't you understand? I wasn't trapped and neither is she. I could have walked at any time. Had I stayed I certainly would have come away better off than $4 million dollars. I continued what I was doing until I no longer was interested in spending time with him. Same as with any other relationship I've been involved in. The money didn't matter anymore once I decided I was ready to move on

[Anonymous]

And to all the men who have lost hair, and aren't as toned as they were, gross. Fix it or I won't sleep with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of these complaining men about how their wives are reluctant sex partners...do you still treat your wives exactly as you did when you were dating or first married and the sex was hot? If so you deserve sex all the time, but if you now take her for granted and don't take her out as much, don't treasure her like you used to, don't look at her like she is the most gorgeous woman in the world, then shut up!

HAH!

Does she do her hair everyday and wear those sexy heels? Does she put that perfume on her chest he used to like so much and flirt with him underneath the table when they're out for dinner? Does she still shave her legs and stay polished? Is she still keeping her body tight?

Please, it goes both ways!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well there you go. She knows you aren't attracted to her so you are just walking through the moves in sex. That's not a turn on for her. Sorry she has gotten big but you all seem to have a problem now. Maybe therapy would help. Perhaps it will motivate her to lose weight or perhaps you will find it in your heart to actually think she is gorgeous not in her super model body.

Oh, I am nice to her otherwise she could take me on. I am only half-joking.

And I have encouraged her to lose weight. I even went on a diet with her to provide support. I lost weight and she gained weight. I have come to accept that she loves food more than anything else in the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And to all the men who have lost hair, and aren't as toned as they were, gross. Fix it or I won't sleep with you.

Sure you will. You'll just expect him to make more money so you can afford more luxuries in life. That's how the marriage thing works right? Trade offs, no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And to all the men who have lost hair, and aren't as toned as they were, gross. Fix it or I won't sleep with you.

You will sleep with a guy who is bald and has no muscle tone if he had enough money to throw at you. Don't even deny it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well there you go. She knows you aren't attracted to her so you are just walking through the moves in sex. That's not a turn on for her. Sorry she has gotten big but you all seem to have a problem now. Maybe therapy would help. Perhaps it will motivate her to lose weight or perhaps you will find it in your heart to actually think she is gorgeous not in her super model body.

Oh, I am nice to her otherwise she could take me on. I am only half-joking.

And I have encouraged her to lose weight. I even went on a diet with her to provide support. I lost weight and she gained weight. I have come to accept that she loves food more than anything else in the world.

That's horrible but so so so common.

When this happens, men, instead of breaking up their home life tend to just find an attractive woman they can have sex with in lieu of their wives. Sucks but it's the truth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of these complaining men about how their wives are reluctant sex partners...do you still treat your wives exactly as you did when you were dating or first married and the sex was hot? If so you deserve sex all the time, but if you now take her for granted and don't take her out as much, don't treasure her like you used to, don't look at her like she is the most gorgeous woman in the world, then shut up!

Maybe if you would fuck your husband wildly and often he would do exactly that. No wonder your husbands are out screwing some young, tight thing instead of dealing with the boring shrew they married.

Sorry he has let himself go a little and I now find him repulsive. I am banging a 19 year old college kid now. I don't feel bad because he deserves it for getting older. What a dick, I married a 28 year old and now he's old. He tricked me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To those who are so critical of OP's lifestyle, how many women do you know who don't earn any money and rely on their husband's income for their lifestyle?

Do you view them as "kept" women who lack self esteem and do you warn them that when they get older and they lose their looks, their husbands will dump them for a younger woman?

As a SAHM w/3 kids and a substantial degree/resume of my own, I call BS on your nonsense, PP! MY DH may very likely become a SAHD in the next five years because we are taking turns with child rearing and pooling our resources. Get over your screaming misogyny and jealousy. So many posters on DCUM -- many, many of you are lonely men, I suppose -- write these comments about SAHMs, but you know in your dateless hearts that the classic one income relationship is a rare experience now. Other posters on other threads have written miles on nonsense on the topic.

Bottom line: a marriage involves two people making a lifetime commitment of trust to each other and to the kids they produce. OP doesn't have that. In fact, she has absolutely nothing. No job. No resume. Not youth for very much longer. The reality is that she's unemployed and as she gets older is dooming herself to longterm unemployment and reduced lifetime earnings.

SAHMs -- as I've been told over and over again by former SAHMs who've reentered the workforce once their kids are in MS -- don't face that difficulty. In DC at least, once a SAHM or SAHD gets his/her first job, each subsequent employer says "S/he stayed home with the kids", points out four or five others in the office who did the same thing (sometimes the supervisors themselves, as many are women in their 60s and even early 70s now -- my DH's boss being one of them) and say "you'll do just fine."

False equivocation = B.S.

Your response is ridiculous at so many levels.

But just to pick one: "a lifetime of commitment"? Are you even aware of the divorce statistics? Also, go take a look at the relationship forum where women are tired of their husbands sometimes for entirely frivolous reasons. A lifetime of commitment indeed!

And just FYI, I am married and have been in a committed relationship for over two decades. But I find the pontificating about the lifestyle of the OP nauseating because some of the very people who are criticizing her for being a "kept" woman probably associate without a second thought with "kept" married women.

I live in a fairly affluent area where at least half the women don't earn any money. Their lives revolve around dropping kids to school, going to the gym, lunch with other wives in the same position they are in, going to the hairstylist, an occasional massage, a housekeeper who comes weekly, some have nannys who are there when the kids come back from school and their mother is out doing her thing - and some don't even have children. They are "kept" wives and there is no other way to describe it if you want to call the OP a "kept" woman who lives a shallow existence. They are no better than the OP.

It is not that I would recommend the OP's lifestyle to my daughters but she is doing what many other women do every single day of their lives.

Wow, you have issues -- I would talk to a therapist so you can find a way to think of SAHM's as something other than prostitutes. Good luck to you! You must be the same poster who though men couldn't respect their wives who stayed at home.

You must have problems with comprehension. Time for remedial lessons.

I don't see anywhere in the post any reference to prostitution. Neither OP nor SAH wives are prostitutes. Both are involved in arrangements that will provide for their comfort with someone else as bread winner. OP offers more than sex based on what she said and so do SAH wives.

Op knows exactly what service she is providing. She isn't building a life with this man, she isn't raising a family with him, they don't share a home, they've taken no vows, they aren't committed, they have no joint accounts, they don't share property. Op is providing an illicit service for which the married man is providing compensation, much like he pays his barber for a haircut. Don't glorify what she is doing. If Op stopped providing that service, Op and her doggy would be out on the sidewalk. The terms of her arrangement are quite conditional and can be terminated at any time. If she was smart she would start working on a backup plan now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And to all the men who have lost hair, and aren't as toned as they were, gross. Fix it or I won't sleep with you.

You will sleep with a guy who is bald and has no muscle tone if he had enough money to throw at you. Don't even deny it.

Yep. That's exactly what I said above. These women are being ridiculous. I see them out with their balding, chubby, but successful husbands all of the time. The money certainly makes a difference