Ask me anything: I am a kept woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a 29 year old guy who finds this thread hilarious mostly because of the people who think this story couldn't possibly be true.

Men are about as faithful as their options. I promise you this sort of thing is happening all around you. When I was in my early 20s I was fooling around with a married billionaire. No joke. He was a closeted guy who would never and I mean NEVER reveal his attraction to men.

The sort of things he was buying for me at the time are somewhat unbelievable. I wasn't with him because of the money but the money certainly helped initially. He's incredibly intelligent, built a commercial real estate business from nothing, donates millions per year to various charities, etc. He was also fun to talk to. All of that but he KNEW that his money was just another tool for him to use.

I wouldn't go back to do it again but at the time we were both having fun. We took trips together on his private planes to anyplace I wanted to go. Sometimes the hotel suites he would book were $10,000 per night. Eventually he bought me a condo in SoCal so I could be closer to him when he was there with his wife. A condo, a couple of cars, a dog, and my own Amex (centurion). This guy spent his days negotiating the lease/purchase of his many buildings to government entities and massive corporations. Our relationship was a way for him to buy some peace of mind. When he would go on an executive retreat per an agreement with his company at The Pritikin in FL he would fly me on his jet to Miami to be around once his stay was done.

So, reading through the thread I realize how ridiculous the OPs posts seem, but honestly I can definitely see it happening. When I stopped seeing the billionaire, he told me he would pay me $50,000 to set him up with one of my friends. For some men, the money means they get what they want when they want. It was an exchange. All in all my net worth increased by about $4 million over 2 years. I'm not complaining and while it wasn't right or the best thing for me emotionally, it certainly wasn't a waste of time.

OP, do what works for you but be ready to walk away from whatever arrangement you have once it no longer works.

If the guy set you up with 4 million, you had the freedom to leave him when the time was right for you. No strings attached. I don't necessarily "approve" of that but you were both consenting adults and he didn't use you and dump you with nothing to show for it. At least he cared enough about you to make sure that you would be o.k.

In contrast, if Op's arrangement were to end suddenly she would be SOL. She really can't just walk away because she would lose the roof over her head and her only income in the process.

I get that but eventually her arrangement will end and she'll go on doing interior design work or whatever it is she wants to do. Could she be building her career now and falling for someone who is committed to her? Sure, but there's no guarantee that anything is going to work. This will one day be over. She'll be fine. How many of us made horrible decisions at that age? I made plenty of them but it all adds to the richness that is my current life.

The other day, the billionaire popped up on my RSS feed because I'm subscribed to real estate blogs and he's selling his home for something like $65 million...I couldn't help but think about what young, naive guy he's spending his money on these days. I'm sure he's still up to the same things. Whoever that guy is will one day be over it too and he'll move on to something more real. Live and learn.

You're o.k. because that guy gave you 4 million bucks. If he had just pulled the rug out from under you, leaving you high and dry, your life may not be nearly what it is today. You underestimate how much that money and your ability to walk away meant for you and your life. I don't think you realize what a struggle it would be to be suddenly cut off - penniless, no full time job, no roof over your head. Would Op survive? Yes, she most likely would. But she would have some very, very hard times to get through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a 29 year old guy who finds this thread hilarious mostly because of the people who think this story couldn't possibly be true.

Men are about as faithful as their options. I promise you this sort of thing is happening all around you. When I was in my early 20s I was fooling around with a married billionaire. No joke. He was a closeted guy who would never and I mean NEVER reveal his attraction to men.

The sort of things he was buying for me at the time are somewhat unbelievable. I wasn't with him because of the money but the money certainly helped initially. He's incredibly intelligent, built a commercial real estate business from nothing, donates millions per year to various charities, etc. He was also fun to talk to. All of that but he KNEW that his money was just another tool for him to use.

I wouldn't go back to do it again but at the time we were both having fun. We took trips together on his private planes to anyplace I wanted to go. Sometimes the hotel suites he would book were $10,000 per night. Eventually he bought me a condo in SoCal so I could be closer to him when he was there with his wife. A condo, a couple of cars, a dog, and my own Amex (centurion). This guy spent his days negotiating the lease/purchase of his many buildings to government entities and massive corporations. Our relationship was a way for him to buy some peace of mind. When he would go on an executive retreat per an agreement with his company at The Pritikin in FL he would fly me on his jet to Miami to be around once his stay was done.

So, reading through the thread I realize how ridiculous the OPs posts seem, but honestly I can definitely see it happening. When I stopped seeing the billionaire, he told me he would pay me $50,000 to set him up with one of my friends. For some men, the money means they get what they want when they want. It was an exchange. All in all my net worth increased by about $4 million over 2 years. I'm not complaining and while it wasn't right or the best thing for me emotionally, it certainly wasn't a waste of time.

OP, do what works for you but be ready to walk away from whatever arrangement you have once it no longer works.

If the guy set you up with 4 million, you had the freedom to leave him when the time was right for you. No strings attached. I don't necessarily "approve" of that but you were both consenting adults and he didn't use you and dump you with nothing to show for it. At least he cared enough about you to make sure that you would be o.k.

In contrast, if Op's arrangement were to end suddenly she would be SOL. She really can't just walk away because she would lose the roof over her head and her only income in the process.

I get that but eventually her arrangement will end and she'll go on doing interior design work or whatever it is she wants to do. Could she be building her career now and falling for someone who is committed to her? Sure, but there's no guarantee that anything is going to work. This will one day be over. She'll be fine. How many of us made horrible decisions at that age? I made plenty of them but it all adds to the richness that is my current life.

The other day, the billionaire popped up on my RSS feed because I'm subscribed to real estate blogs and he's selling his home for something like $65 million...I couldn't help but think about what young, naive guy he's spending his money on these days. I'm sure he's still up to the same things. Whoever that guy is will one day be over it too and he'll move on to something more real. Live and learn.

You're o.k. because that guy gave you 4 million bucks. If he had just pulled the rug out from under you, leaving you high and dry, your life may not be nearly what it is today. You underestimate how much that money and your ability to walk away meant for you and your life. I don't think you realize what a struggle it would be to be suddenly cut off - penniless, no full time job, no roof over your head. Would Op survive? Yes, she most likely would. But she would have some very, very hard times to get through.

How would her 24yr old life be any different than all of the other 24yr old apprenticing interior designers who struggle? The only thing she's giving up now is the struggle. She's pocketing her interior design and flower shop money and he's picking up her life tab. If the relationship ends she'll go back to "struggling" with her savings account balance to help her float for a while. People are acting as though she won't be able to breathe if the guy stops paying her rent.

[Anonymous]

I would imagine that other 24 year old designers are highly motivated to work hard to keep a roof over their heads. While they are likely struggling, they are also gaining valuable experience in their field and they are establishing a name for themselves within their profession. In the meantime, Op is dabbling here and there but not really doing anything seriously, mostly just enjoying her free ride. The longer she continues doing that, the worse her prospects of landing a full time job become.

Her situation is sort of a new version of "failure to launch" but instead of living in her parents' basement playing video games, she's hanging out in her married boyfriend's apartment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Re "PP, your post smacks of envy"

Not sure what you are suggesting that I envy? If it is OP's lifestyle - not now or ever.

If it is the women who don't work but are financially supported by their husbands - not even close. We both retired in our forties and enjoy a life of leisure. We worked hard over the years and between a combination of shrewd financial decisions and some luck we were able to retire early. Our kids are settled and well employed. We just enjoy life - a life of comparative luxury as some of our friends suggest we have.

I just find the judgmental b-s about OP's lifestyle over the top including those who do their pop psychoanalysis about what ails OP from her purported lack of self-esteem to her family upbringing.

But you are right about one thing ..... DCUM is full of those who pontificate and I am sure quite a few of those doing so are "kept" whether married or not.

Your tone belies your claim of "not even close" because you condemn women with "nannys" (your misspelling, BTW), housekeepers and salon visits without knowing the intimate details of these strangers' lives. If you're happy, good for you, but don't kid yourself. You're as judgmental and prone to pontificating as everybody else.

I don't condemn anything that other women have, least of all having a nanny. We used to have nannies at one stage in our lives when our children were young. I don't view that as being a status symbol. I am not even critical about the lives that non-working wives have because that is between them and their respective husbands. All I am saying is that the institution of marriage does not make the OP any more or any less than a non-working wife who relies on the largesse of her husband.

To those who say that OP's benefactor could dump her at any time when he finds a new model, you are certainly right about that but that holds true of the non-working wife. And heaven knows, that happens often enough when the successful husband who is pandered to at work by young attractive women decides it is time to move on. Yes, the wife has some marital rights to the assets and to that extent she has an edge over the OP but let us not kid ourselves that being married offers any sort of surety against a husband moving on to a younger more attractive woman than his wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Re "PP, your post smacks of envy"

Not sure what you are suggesting that I envy? If it is OP's lifestyle - not now or ever.

If it is the women who don't work but are financially supported by their husbands - not even close. We both retired in our forties and enjoy a life of leisure. We worked hard over the years and between a combination of shrewd financial decisions and some luck we were able to retire early. Our kids are settled and well employed. We just enjoy life - a life of comparative luxury as some of our friends suggest we have.

I just find the judgmental b-s about OP's lifestyle over the top including those who do their pop psychoanalysis about what ails OP from her purported lack of self-esteem to her family upbringing.

But you are right about one thing ..... DCUM is full of those who pontificate and I am sure quite a few of those doing so are "kept" whether married or not.

Your tone belies your claim of "not even close" because you condemn women with "nannys" (your misspelling, BTW), housekeepers and salon visits without knowing the intimate details of these strangers' lives. If you're happy, good for you, but don't kid yourself. You're as judgmental and prone to pontificating as everybody else.

I don't condemn anything that other women have, least of all having a nanny. We used to have nannies at one stage in our lives when our children were young. I don't view that as being a status symbol. I am not even critical about the lives that non-working wives have because that is between them and their respective husbands. All I am saying is that the institution of marriage does not make the OP any more or any less than a non-working wife who relies on the largesse of her husband.

To those who say that OP's benefactor could dump her at any time when he finds a new model, you are certainly right about that but that holds true of the non-working wife. And heaven knows, that happens often enough when the successful husband who is pandered to at work by young attractive women decides it is time to move on. Yes, the wife has some marital rights to the assets and to that extent she has an edge over the OP but let us not kid ourselves that being married offers any sort of surety against a husband moving on to a younger more attractive woman than his wife.

No the husband could potentially move on to a younger model in any marriage. But wives do have claim to marital assets, spousal support, child support and often remain in the family home. You insist on drawing these comparisons to the Op's situation and that of a non-working spouse. It's NOT the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Re "PP, your post smacks of envy"

Not sure what you are suggesting that I envy? If it is OP's lifestyle - not now or ever.

If it is the women who don't work but are financially supported by their husbands - not even close. We both retired in our forties and enjoy a life of leisure. We worked hard over the years and between a combination of shrewd financial decisions and some luck we were able to retire early. Our kids are settled and well employed. We just enjoy life - a life of comparative luxury as some of our friends suggest we have.

I just find the judgmental b-s about OP's lifestyle over the top including those who do their pop psychoanalysis about what ails OP from her purported lack of self-esteem to her family upbringing.

But you are right about one thing ..... DCUM is full of those who pontificate and I am sure quite a few of those doing so are "kept" whether married or not.

Your tone belies your claim of "not even close" because you condemn women with "nannys" (your misspelling, BTW), housekeepers and salon visits without knowing the intimate details of these strangers' lives. If you're happy, good for you, but don't kid yourself. You're as judgmental and prone to pontificating as everybody else.

I don't condemn anything that other women have, least of all having a nanny. We used to have nannies at one stage in our lives when our children were young. I don't view that as being a status symbol. I am not even critical about the lives that non-working wives have because that is between them and their respective husbands. All I am saying is that the institution of marriage does not make the OP any more or any less than a non-working wife who relies on the largesse of her husband.

To those who say that OP's benefactor could dump her at any time when he finds a new model, you are certainly right about that but that holds true of the non-working wife. And heaven knows, that happens often enough when the successful husband who is pandered to at work by young attractive women decides it is time to move on. Yes, the wife has some marital rights to the assets and to that extent she has an edge over the OP but let us not kid ourselves that being married offers any sort of surety against a husband moving on to a younger more attractive woman than his wife.

No the husband could potentially move on to a younger model in any marriage. But wives do have claim to marital assets, spousal support, child support and often remain in the family home. You insist on drawing these comparisons to the Op's situation and that of a non-working spouse. It's NOT the same.

I just acknowledged that right exists - which OP does not have.

[Anonymous]

Either she dates a guy who spends money on her so she can save whatever money she makes OR she can date a guy who doesn't.



C'mon folks, she's not looking for rights to assets. She's getting good sex from an attractive guy who spends his money keeping her comfortable. When he's done spending money on her, she'll do whatever she's currently doing only without his money.

[Anonymous]

Uh! Y'all have done it again. I got the OP to come back and you all have kicked her off again. Please come back OP. My last question is still out there-- Have you "experienced young, blissful, sincere and exclusive love with another single and available person"? Have you ever been "the one" for anyone?

Please come back OP.

[Anonymous]

What is hilarious is the women who are trying to justify how they are a cut above OP who is in it for the sex, the money and the lifestyle.

These women were in it for the sex (until they got married) and then many stay in it because their husbands provide a comfortable lifestyle for them. But they think it legitimizes what they are doing because they are married!

At least give credit to OP for being honest about what she is doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Re "PP, your post smacks of envy"

Not sure what you are suggesting that I envy? If it is OP's lifestyle - not now or ever.

If it is the women who don't work but are financially supported by their husbands - not even close. We both retired in our forties and enjoy a life of leisure. We worked hard over the years and between a combination of shrewd financial decisions and some luck we were able to retire early. Our kids are settled and well employed. We just enjoy life - a life of comparative luxury as some of our friends suggest we have.

I just find the judgmental b-s about OP's lifestyle over the top including those who do their pop psychoanalysis about what ails OP from her purported lack of self-esteem to her family upbringing.

But you are right about one thing ..... DCUM is full of those who pontificate and I am sure quite a few of those doing so are "kept" whether married or not.

Your tone belies your claim of "not even close" because you condemn women with "nannys" (your misspelling, BTW), housekeepers and salon visits without knowing the intimate details of these strangers' lives. If you're happy, good for you, but don't kid yourself. You're as judgmental and prone to pontificating as everybody else.

I don't condemn anything that other women have, least of all having a nanny. We used to have nannies at one stage in our lives when our children were young. I don't view that as being a status symbol. I am not even critical about the lives that non-working wives have because that is between them and their respective husbands. All I am saying is that the institution of marriage does not make the OP any more or any less than a non-working wife who relies on the largesse of her husband.

To those who say that OP's benefactor could dump her at any time when he finds a new model, you are certainly right about that but that holds true of the non-working wife. And heaven knows, that happens often enough when the successful husband who is pandered to at work by young attractive women decides it is time to move on. Yes, the wife has some marital rights to the assets and to that extent she has an edge over the OP but let us not kid ourselves that being married offers any sort of surety against a husband moving on to a younger more attractive woman than his wife.

No the husband could potentially move on to a younger model in any marriage. But wives do have claim to marital assets, spousal support, child support and often remain in the family home. You insist on drawing these comparisons to the Op's situation and that of a non-working spouse. It's NOT the same.

I just acknowledged that right exists - which OP does not have.

eh, you say that wives have "an edge" over "kept" mistresses. I say that the two are not comparable, not in the same league. One is a LEGAL married life partner, the other is a hired illicit service provider. Big... no HUGE... difference. You don't seem to see that and I'm tired of going around in circles with you. I think our realities and our marital experiences must be a lot different. I'll agree to disagree with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is hilarious is the women who are trying to justify how they are a cut above OP who is in it for the sex, the money and the lifestyle.

These women were in it for the sex (until they got married) and then many stay in it because their husbands provide a comfortable lifestyle for them. But they think it legitimizes what they are doing because they are married!

At least give credit to OP for being honest about what she is doing.

Uh, sure. Except when I met my husband we both worked, we both paid our own rent/bills, we both met each others families, knew each others friends, were seen in polite social circles together. Oh, and we were completely exclusive with each other. But otherwise - yes, just like the Op. You caught me!!

[Anonymous]

Yes, OP ..... please come back.

It is such fun watching some women tying themselves in knots trying to show how they are different from you. But like a PP said others have probably been giving their pleasantly surprised husband more sex than he has had in years in an attempt to keep him on the straight and narrow!

OP, even if you are a troll, you may have saved a few marriages with your AMA and there are a lot of wives looking more closely at their bank and credit card statements!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is hilarious is the women who are trying to justify how they are a cut above OP who is in it for the sex, the money and the lifestyle.

These women were in it for the sex (until they got married) and then many stay in it because their husbands provide a comfortable lifestyle for them. But they think it legitimizes what they are doing because they are married!

At least give credit to OP for being honest about what she is doing.

Bingo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is hilarious is the women who are trying to justify how they are a cut above OP who is in it for the sex, the money and the lifestyle.

These women were in it for the sex (until they got married) and then many stay in it because their husbands provide a comfortable lifestyle for them. But they think it legitimizes what they are doing because they are married!

At least give credit to OP for being honest about what she is doing.

Bingo

Careful now or you will be called a misogynist.

[Anonymous]

I would wager that if an AMA thread were started by someone claiming to be a "kept" man, most guys will react with indifference and a few will want to know how they can get in on the act!