Getting anything done on weekends
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Anonymous
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We really only have two weekend activities and our weekends always seem packed and not restful. Saturdays - adults go to the gym, trade off who is watching the kids while the other works out. Only day either of us can get to the gym, takes from 9-11:30 or so. Come home for lunch, then naps. Day is basically over. Sunday - hoping to get back to church now that things are reopening. Brunch out or home for lunch, naps. Day is then basically over. Kids are 1.5 and 4.
I know eventually there are other obligations, especially as the kids get older (birthday parties, sports, etc). What do weekend schedules looks like for other people with young kids? I'm constantly struggling to find time to tidy up the house, do projects around the house, take the car for an oil change, pay bills, whatever. Is this just life? What falls away for you when the weekends get busy? |
Anonymous
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It sounds like unless you have 5-6 hours by yourself, "the day is over" and you can't do anything at all. It don't work like that when you have small kids.
I am confused by 9-11:30 gym. Go at 6, then you have rest of morning free. Some gyms have daycare so both parents can work out at the same time. Until when do the kids nap? 2 or 3 pm? Why is the day over if you have at least 4 hrs more with kids (and that's when the birthday parties, etc. could fit) and a couple of hours of alone time when kids go to sleep. You can pay bills while kids nap, or in the evening or during your lunch break when you have childcare for weekdays. Projects around the house fall away unless you do them very slowly in bits and pieces at the expense of your me time. Or you hire babysitters on weekend, then it's at the expense of your wallet and your time with kids. There is no perfect solution, alas. |
Anonymous
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You don't get up until you go to the gym at 9 am? Try getting up a few hours earlier. And how long do your kids nap? Mine used to nap until maybe 3, 4 at the latest, so then we had another 3-4 hours before bedtime.
If you're looking for time to tidy up the house, do projects around the house, pay bills, whatever - why aren't you doing that during nap time? Or are you saying you and your husband also nap?!? |
Anonymous
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It sounds to me like everything you're talking about should be done during nap time. That's when we get stuff done.
Admittedly, (and I've posted about this before) it does mean that things take way longer to get done, since you have a small window to do things each weekend day. So that can be frustrating. But you should be able to get several productive things done during nap time each weekend. |
Anonymous
| Try to incorporate exercise into your daily routine. Bike to work, go for bike rides as a family or go for a run pushing the stroller. |
Anonymous
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Woah, I forgot how mean this forum can be.
Would love recs for gyms with child care in DC! I keep hearing people say this but I don't know of one that actually exists. Ours isn't open at 6am. I understand that this is a schedule that will likely need to change at some point, and I'm not complaining, I'm just looking to see what other people do. Of course we get up before 9 am - we get dressed, eat breakfast, and then get ready and leave the house. For naps, our little kid naps from 12:30 or 1pm to 3/3:30. The big kid "rests" from 1:30 or 2-3pm. So we really only have an hour when they're both down. When the big kid is up he has trouble playing independently, and wants all our attention, so it is hard to get things done (especially things that require a computer, like online shopping or paying bills). This is something we're working on with him, but we can only do so much. We are kind of making it work at the moment, but it often involves skipping church (even virtual church) and having one parent take the kids out of the house so the other can get things done uninterrupted. It is just exhausting and I can't imagine adding anything else in! Just looking to see how others make things work with kids in this age range. |
Anonymous
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It sounds like you have a ton of time! I have four year old (who doesn't nap) and a one year old. We get up between 6:00 and 6:30 am EVERY day and alternate who gets to workout, sleep in, do chores, etc. We let the four year old watch a movie during the one year old's afternoon nap on the weekend so we can take care of paperwork, etc. And we have a baby-sitter come every other Saturday morning for four hours so we can do something for ourselves. My husband will sometimes take the kids to the playground or for a walk solo before dinner so I can organize the house and/or cook dinner. Most yard work we outsource, but if we're doing it ourselves, one of us plays with the kids in the yard while the other one is working. All the other stuff I end up doing during the workday while the kids are with the nanny or after they go to bed. I still feel like I never have enough time and am always behind but am trying to accept that's life with young kids.
Instead of trying to do everything as a family on the weekend, I do think it's helpful to tradeoff with your spouse for a few hours each day in the afternoons. |
Anonymous
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I have three kids (5/3/1).
I think there are a few things I don't totally understand. Mostly what it is you are trying to get done? I agree with your overall point. It is hard to get stuff done on the weekends with small kids! This is just true. But I feel like when you are saying stuff like 'need to do online shopping and pay bills online' I get confused. Can one of you do some of that during the week? I don't have any of that on my weekend list. And if you can't do it during the week this seems like an easy thing to do post bedtime while watching tv or something? I workout during the week but DH usually goes for a run on the weekend and I'll watch the kids. One day one of us will use nap to mow the lawn and the other parent will watch the non napping kid/s. The other day I will go to the stores to do 'shopping' usually target and a grocery store. I will leave somewhere 11:30-12:30 (baby goes down at noon) and take one kid with me to let DH maximize 'nap' for laundry. If we have anything 'extra' beyond this standard set of weekend chores, it's tough to fit in and post bedtime is usually where it has to go. And you seem to be focused on church, which is fine, but a mass relocation of children is pretty tough. Church would involve getting everyone dressed, into the car, there, back home, fed, changed etc. So anything like that is going to eat 3 hours of both parents' time. I feel like you write off everything post nap as a lost cause though and it really doesn't have to be. Like I said I'm having trouble figuring what it is you are trying to fit in but I'd recommend trying to do whatever it is with one kid, or be comfortable with one parent watching both post nap. But it seems like a waste to do like, electronic bill pay at that time when like...why haven't you already automated all of that? That is not something anyone should be spending much time on. |
Anonymous
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Seriously this sounds like bad scheduling on your part. You should go to the gym at 6am, nap time or when the kids are in bed. That would free up more time with them. What's wrong with going to the gym on a weekday morning or weekday evening?
Bill paying and errand running are easy to do once the kids are asleep (8pm by the latest at your kids ages, so that gives you like 3 hours every night!) You have tons of free time. Your schedule kind of sounds boring to your kids though... Where's the pool time in the summer, bike rides, picnics, playgrounds, fun errands. Even brunch on Sunday doesn't sound appealing with kids. I have a 2 and a 4 year old. We spend half the weekend doing super fun kid stuff and then the other half tag teaming each other so we can get projects/chores done (but the kids are still having fun with the other parent). Also, my kids LOVE running errands with us. Grocery stores and Home Depot are some of their favorites, clothing stores no way. |
Anonymous
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OP - my kids are now 4.5 and 2. The 2yo naps. Our typical weekend schedule looks like:
7am on parent wakes up with the kids. The other one "sleeps in" until 8 or so. Kids do breakfast and are usually in clothes by 8:30. 8:30/9-12:30 we're all out of the house. Usually the 4 of us together, occasionally we'll split up in a different combo. Sometimes one parent is solo with the kids. We try to eat lunch outside - in the park, at a playground, etc. 12:30ish one parent comes home with the toddler for a nap. Sometimes we all come home together and my 4.5yo watches a show, plays quietly, etc. while the toddler naps. 3pm or so one parent is usually either back outside someplace within a few blocks from home (a very local playground, chalking on the sidewalk, etc) or else we're at home. Kids can play together nicely now. We try to engage the kids in family clean up during this period. One parent us also usually cleaning, another may be making dinner, or entertaining the kids, etc. 5pm home for dinner, 6pm bath, 7pm bedtime. We don't go to the gym but most weekends we're walking a lot during our morning outing. Sometimes DH gets up early on his "sleeping in" day to go for a run. We also don't do church, but I feel like there's time in our day if there was something like that we prioritized. |
Anonymous
This all sounds familiar and similar to me. The online bill paying stuff, amazon cart loading, etc happens in between everything else, during natural down times, when we're in the car, or more often in the evenings. Laundry happens whenever - we throw in loads and go about our day, and usually fold in the evening but DH and I do it together so it takes like 15 minutes. Vacuuming happens during our post-nap afternoons, usually. We clean as we go (kitchen, etc) and do deeper cleans (kitchen, bathroom) mornings usually while one parent takes the kids out. We don't have any outside help but we do have a small apartment which helps. |
Anonymous
I agree! I would love to fit more of that in. I think people are focused on bill paying (don't know why that one example is sticking so hard) but really its that after nap there isn't much we can "do" in that block of time. We spend a lot of time going to playgrounds in our neighborhood, but we've been to them all so many times now that they're boring. I would love to add in things like playdayes, sports, etc, but that's what I'm not finding time for! Buy the time the kids get up and have a snack after nap it is 3:30 or 4pm and we're pretty limited in what we can do between then and dinner at 6ish, especially with one parent needing to focus on cooking dinner. Because of COVID, we don't take them on errands - especially the 1.5 yo who can't mask properly. We loosened this a bit earlier in the summer but are cracking back down with Delta. So taking them both to Home Depot, etc, is a non-starter. Maybe life will be more fun post-COVID (slash when there is a vaccine for young kids) when I can stop grocery shopping after they go to bed and can start taking them with me to the grocery store on the weekend afternoons! That sure as hell would free up some time. |
Anonymous
Yeah I guess if OP is looking for a detailed breakdown ours would be (and asterisk here that we now live in the suburbs and have organized our life in a way that we have a crapton of kid's stuff and don't need to 'leave' the house frequently). We set up older two kids with cereal the day before, they wake up, eat breakfast together and put on cartoons at like 6:30-7. DH or I wake up and come down with baby between 7:30-8. The other one sleeps in till whenever they want, usually NLT 9. Then we get going. Kids outside playing, DH goes for a run with the dogs. We are playing with the kids until Saturday nap. Then I will go shopping with one of the other two. DH will get laundry moving. I will be out usually like 12-4. Come home, clean out fridge from the last week, put away groceries, sit down for a few minutes, then I'm making dinner and DH is outside with the kids while they play or he's taking a break while they play in the playroom. Dinner around 6, then they have screen time, baby in bed at 7:30, bigger kids at 8:30 (we trade off bedtimes). Then I clean the kitchen and do a vacuum if necessary and am usually on the couch by 9:30. Day 2, morning is basically the same but DH and I always do the crossword puzzles on Sunday together, kind of watching the kids as we do it and they play. Then nap and we do housework/yardwork during the afternoon. Try to get a walk in here but doesn't always happen. DH gets all laundry done over the weekend, fit in here and there. And we generally have to mow, which is 2-3 hours. Kids have to clean the playroom on Sundays, usually before/right after dinner but this takes adult supervision. Usually DH because I am cooking dinner. And then again eat, screen time, bedtimes, cleaning the kitchen time, sofa. I work out during the week. slipped in where there is an extra 30-60 minutes here and there. I work from home which is the only way this is possible. DH goes to a sports thing on thursday nights and I will watch the kids then. I sometimes have a night with friends during the week and he will watch them. And like I said anything online/bill pay/shopping happens during the week. We will avoid having to pack everyone up to leave most of the time because there is too much time wasted. The getting ready, in the car, packing the back, driving somewhere and then having to do it on the backend just leaves too much time with kids not getting energy out and house stuff not done. With the nap restrictions it just isn't worth it usually. Although this weekend we did pack up and go to a birthday party at the beach and it was fun and not that hard and made me think we should try it more often! |
Anonymous
I picked up on the bill paying thing. I think it sticks out because for most people this is something that takes literally no time. All my bills are set to autopay and I just basically glance at my phone every once in awhile to make sure it happened/nothing crazy is going on. It wouldn't occur to me to even list as a 'chore' that takes time. Which made me wonder if you exaggerating or if you are just being inefficient (not said judgily just trying to explain). To deal with grocery store stuff I do the pickup option maybe once every other or every third weekend. That gets back a huge chunk of time. But even through COVID I've been able to take one kid with me because my oldest masks well (you can teach them this!) COVID has definitely made all of this harder. It sounds to me like you want to go out and 'do' stuff. Like fun stuff. Honestly with little kids it is easier to turn your house into a fun place and accept that sometimes its easier to create the fun at home and get stuff done simultaneously than to always be looking for an activity. Which doesn't mean never leave, but I think this is what people are picking up on. With little kids it is hard to leave the house and be doing stuff all weekend. That will get better when they are older. I was happier when I accepted the limitations and tried to organize my life around minimizing those limitations instead of trying to force my old life around them. |
Anonymous
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It sounds like you can do a lot during nap time and then also one of you can watch the kids while the other gets stuff done. Things like laundry, you can get them involved in - my kids used to love to sort socks and "Help" with stuff. Your four year old is probably in prime "can I help?" age, so get him/her started now. Clean the bathroom or kitchen and hand him a cloth and ask him to wipe things down. My kids are older (5 and 8) but they will help wipe down the baseboards, clean bathroom mirrors, wipe out sinks, etc..
It's actually important for them to see you and your husband doing housework, and for them to contribute. I'm not saying my kids are perfect. 90% of the time I ask them to help they yell and say no, but sometimes they help. |