Getting anything done on weekends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Out of all the replies here, THIS one -- which basically told you that you are SOL for the next three years -- is the one you found helpful?? I mean, sure, PPs could have been nicer, but you actually got a lot of helpful advice and tips about how to structure your week, etc. to find more time and feel more relaxed during your weekends.

Yeah everyone telling me to quit going to the gym and take walks with the stroller, instead and to switch to Catholicism because they have evening mass, those were not particularly helpful comments. I wasn't really asking for help reconfiguring my schedule, which is currently (mostly) working for me for the moment (until we start adding anything else in). It is hectic, but I didn't say I wasn't getting stuff done. My actual questions were: "What do weekend schedules looks like for other people with young kids?" and "What falls away for you when the weekends get busy?" So yeah, some replies were more helpful than others.

If your schedule is currently working for you, why are you posting?

Nobody suggested switching to Catholicism.

Many people suggested ways to streamline (eg., errands during the week) or how to prioritize kid & family time in the morning and / or personal time in the evening. The errands and chores you listed are hardly a blip on my radar, because I automate them, delegate them, or de-prioritize them.

But you’re not open to advice, because apparently you weren’t asking for advice. Bizarre.

I'm a PP and also so confused. You are upset that people responded. Why did you post, OP?

DP. If you read her post with the assumption that she was tired and frustrated and the title was a rhetorical question rather than a request for advice, you will see why she posted.
It’s hard to see those things without tone and body language though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Out of all the replies here, THIS one -- which basically told you that you are SOL for the next three years -- is the one you found helpful?? I mean, sure, PPs could have been nicer, but you actually got a lot of helpful advice and tips about how to structure your week, etc. to find more time and feel more relaxed during your weekends.

Yeah everyone telling me to quit going to the gym and take walks with the stroller, instead and to switch to Catholicism because they have evening mass, those were not particularly helpful comments. I wasn't really asking for help reconfiguring my schedule, which is currently (mostly) working for me for the moment (until we start adding anything else in). It is hectic, but I didn't say I wasn't getting stuff done. My actual questions were: "What do weekend schedules looks like for other people with young kids?" and "What falls away for you when the weekends get busy?" So yeah, some replies were more helpful than others.

If your schedule is currently working for you, why are you posting?

Nobody suggested switching to Catholicism.

Many people suggested ways to streamline (eg., errands during the week) or how to prioritize kid & family time in the morning and / or personal time in the evening. The errands and chores you listed are hardly a blip on my radar, because I automate them, delegate them, or de-prioritize them.

But you’re not open to advice, because apparently you weren’t asking for advice. Bizarre.

I'm a PP and also so confused. You are upset that people responded. Why did you post, OP?

DP. If you read her post with the assumption that she was tired and frustrated and the title was a rhetorical question rather than a request for advice, you will see why she posted.
It’s hard to see those things without tone and body language though.

You mean this post, where OP describes the ONE (adult) activity they do each weekend—going to the gym—and a desire to get back to church, and then says her days are basically over after lunch and nap? Yeah, totally tiring and frustrating. Clearly rhetorical.

Anonymous wrote:We really only have two weekend activities and our weekends always seem packed and not restful. Saturdays - adults go to the gym, trade off who is watching the kids while the other works out. Only day either of us can get to the gym, takes from 9-11:30 or so. Come home for lunch, then naps. Day is basically over. Sunday - hoping to get back to church now that things are reopening. Brunch out or home for lunch, naps. Day is then basically over. Kids are 1.5 and 4.

I know eventually there are other obligations, especially as the kids get older (birthday parties, sports, etc). What do weekend schedules looks like for other people with young kids? I'm constantly struggling to find time to tidy up the house, do projects around the house, take the car for an oil change, pay bills, whatever. Is this just life? What falls away for you when the weekends get busy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Out of all the replies here, THIS one -- which basically told you that you are SOL for the next three years -- is the one you found helpful?? I mean, sure, PPs could have been nicer, but you actually got a lot of helpful advice and tips about how to structure your week, etc. to find more time and feel more relaxed during your weekends.

Yeah everyone telling me to quit going to the gym and take walks with the stroller, instead and to switch to Catholicism because they have evening mass, those were not particularly helpful comments. I wasn't really asking for help reconfiguring my schedule, which is currently (mostly) working for me for the moment (until we start adding anything else in). It is hectic, but I didn't say I wasn't getting stuff done. My actual questions were: "What do weekend schedules looks like for other people with young kids?" and "What falls away for you when the weekends get busy?" So yeah, some replies were more helpful than others.

If your schedule is currently working for you, why are you posting?

Nobody suggested switching to Catholicism.

Many people suggested ways to streamline (eg., errands during the week) or how to prioritize kid & family time in the morning and / or personal time in the evening. The errands and chores you listed are hardly a blip on my radar, because I automate them, delegate them, or de-prioritize them.

But you’re not open to advice, because apparently you weren’t asking for advice. Bizarre.

I'm a PP and also so confused. You are upset that people responded. Why did you post, OP?

DP. If you read her post with the assumption that she was tired and frustrated and the title was a rhetorical question rather than a request for advice, you will see why she posted.
It’s hard to see those things without tone and body language though.

You mean this post, where OP describes the ONE (adult) activity they do each weekend—going to the gym—and a desire to get back to church, and then says her days are basically over after lunch and nap? Yeah, totally tiring and frustrating. Clearly rhetorical.

Anonymous wrote:We really only have two weekend activities and our weekends always seem packed and not restful. Saturdays - adults go to the gym, trade off who is watching the kids while the other works out. Only day either of us can get to the gym, takes from 9-11:30 or so. Come home for lunch, then naps. Day is basically over. Sunday - hoping to get back to church now that things are reopening. Brunch out or home for lunch, naps. Day is then basically over. Kids are 1.5 and 4.

I know eventually there are other obligations, especially as the kids get older (birthday parties, sports, etc). What do weekend schedules looks like for other people with young kids? I'm constantly struggling to find time to tidy up the house, do projects around the house, take the car for an oil change, pay bills, whatever. Is this just life? What falls away for you when the weekends get busy?

Yes. The post where she doesn’t actually give a specific daily schedule or ask for advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We really only have two weekend activities and our weekends always seem packed and not restful. Saturdays - adults go to the gym, trade off who is watching the kids while the other works out. Only day either of us can get to the gym, takes from 9-11:30 or so. Come home for lunch, then naps. Day is basically over. Sunday - hoping to get back to church now that things are reopening. Brunch out or home for lunch, naps. Day is then basically over. Kids are 1.5 and 4.

I know eventually there are other obligations, especially as the kids get older (birthday parties, sports, etc). What do weekend schedules looks like for other people with young kids? I'm constantly struggling to find time to tidy up the house, do projects around the house, take the car for an oil change, pay bills, whatever. Is this just life? What falls away for you when the weekends get busy?

Yes. The post where she doesn’t actually give a specific daily schedule or ask for advice.

Huh? Are we even reading the same thread?

OP lays out their schedule in the OP and in several additional follow-up posts.

Saturday: parents take turns at gym from 9-1130, then lunch, nap, day is basically over
Sunday: church at 11, lunch, nap, day is basically over

Well, yes, parenting two young kids who still nap means a lot of the day is devoted to sleep and routine care. I mean, that’s life with kids. Especially so when one chooses to dedicate the prime kid activity hours to grown-up pursuits.

I think a peek into OP’s weekday routine would reveal a lot about why OP finds weekends so challenging.

But you’re right, OP didn’t *technically* ask for advice. She just complained about how unrestful weekends are and asked what other people’s schedules were like and what people prioritized on weekends. I guess a bunch of us just erroneously assumed it was because OP was seeking suggestions for ways to improve her weekends.

[Anonymous]

It's strange that OP doesn't highlight any activities/time spent with kids in her first post, focusing instead on a lengthy and unmovable workout time. But then the things she's trying to make time for are also not kid-related (oil change and home projects...)

It seems like asking for how to take a very boring adult weekend and making it more boring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's strange that OP doesn't highlight any activities/time spent with kids in her first post, focusing instead on a lengthy and unmovable workout time. But then the things she's trying to make time for are also not kid-related (oil change and home projects...)

It seems like asking for how to take a very boring adult weekend and making it more boring.

100%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's strange that OP doesn't highlight any activities/time spent with kids in her first post, focusing instead on a lengthy and unmovable workout time. But then the things she's trying to make time for are also not kid-related (oil change and home projects...)

It seems like asking for how to take a very boring adult weekend and making it more boring.

+1. Also making a 1.5 year old and 4 year old do church and brunch out afterwards sounds awful. Take your kids to the pool, go to the park, live a little OP. Consider alternating evenings or early weekday morning workouts with DH so Saturday AM is not entirely taken up by the gym, also as others have suggested, get up and go at 6 am so the gym is done by 830 or 9 and the family can do something. You have a 1.5 year old so you have a good 3-4 more years of this left, figure out how to make it work better for the whole family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's strange that OP doesn't highlight any activities/time spent with kids in her first post, focusing instead on a lengthy and unmovable workout time. But then the things she's trying to make time for are also not kid-related (oil change and home projects...)

It seems like asking for how to take a very boring adult weekend and making it more boring.

+1. Also making a 1.5 year old and 4 year old do church and brunch out afterwards sounds awful. Take your kids to the pool, go to the park, live a little OP. Consider alternating evenings or early weekday morning workouts with DH so Saturday AM is not entirely taken up by the gym, also as others have suggested, get up and go at 6 am so the gym is done by 830 or 9 and the family can do something. You have a 1.5 year old so you have a good 3-4 more years of this left, figure out how to make it work better for the whole family.

Sounds like they're trying to keep their pre-kids / pre-pandemic adult-focused lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Agree that OP needs to stop working out midmorning Saturdays. That is the prime time for doing anything with the kids. Work out during/after nap, join a gym that opens earlier or is closer by, or be more flexible about workouts. For example, DH and I take the kids to the pool and can easily have one of us swim laps while the other watches the kids. At the park, take turns jogging around the track. DH does P90X and I do yoga at home.

If you are trying to jam a childless adult's weekend into a young family's life it isn't going to work, OP. Parenting means finding a way to meet everyone's needs, including your own, but it won't be the same as what you were doing before you had kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's strange that OP doesn't highlight any activities/time spent with kids in her first post, focusing instead on a lengthy and unmovable workout time. But then the things she's trying to make time for are also not kid-related (oil change and home projects...)

It seems like asking for how to take a very boring adult weekend and making it more boring.

+1. Also making a 1.5 year old and 4 year old do church and brunch out afterwards sounds awful. Take your kids to the pool, go to the park, live a little OP. Consider alternating evenings or early weekday morning workouts with DH so Saturday AM is not entirely taken up by the gym, also as others have suggested, get up and go at 6 am so the gym is done by 830 or 9 and the family can do something. You have a 1.5 year old so you have a good 3-4 more years of this left, figure out how to make it work better for the whole family.

Yeah, how truly terrible it is for the OP to force her kids to have a religious upbringing when they could be going to the pool instead. And then to feed them afterwards? The horror! Note she said brunch out or home for lunch after church. The kids have got to eat somewhere, right? I doubt she's having bottomless mimosas while dragging two kids along. Brunch is just a meal, it isn't a lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's strange that OP doesn't highlight any activities/time spent with kids in her first post, focusing instead on a lengthy and unmovable workout time. But then the things she's trying to make time for are also not kid-related (oil change and home projects...)

It seems like asking for how to take a very boring adult weekend and making it more boring.

+1. Also making a 1.5 year old and 4 year old do church and brunch out afterwards sounds awful. Take your kids to the pool, go to the park, live a little OP. Consider alternating evenings or early weekday morning workouts with DH so Saturday AM is not entirely taken up by the gym, also as others have suggested, get up and go at 6 am so the gym is done by 830 or 9 and the family can do something. You have a 1.5 year old so you have a good 3-4 more years of this left, figure out how to make it work better for the whole family.

Yeah, how truly terrible it is for the OP to force her kids to have a religious upbringing when they could be going to the pool instead. And then to feed them afterwards? The horror! Note she said brunch out or home for lunch after church. The kids have got to eat somewhere, right? I doubt she's having bottomless mimosas while dragging two kids along. Brunch is just a meal, it isn't a lifestyle.

OP is doing things. They are doing workouts, church, and brunch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's strange that OP doesn't highlight any activities/time spent with kids in her first post, focusing instead on a lengthy and unmovable workout time. But then the things she's trying to make time for are also not kid-related (oil change and home projects...)

It seems like asking for how to take a very boring adult weekend and making it more boring.

+1. Also making a 1.5 year old and 4 year old do church and brunch out afterwards sounds awful. Take your kids to the pool, go to the park, live a little OP. Consider alternating evenings or early weekday morning workouts with DH so Saturday AM is not entirely taken up by the gym, also as others have suggested, get up and go at 6 am so the gym is done by 830 or 9 and the family can do something. You have a 1.5 year old so you have a good 3-4 more years of this left, figure out how to make it work better for the whole family.

Sounds like they're trying to keep their pre-kids / pre-pandemic adult-focused lifestyle.

That’s what I get out of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's strange that OP doesn't highlight any activities/time spent with kids in her first post, focusing instead on a lengthy and unmovable workout time. But then the things she's trying to make time for are also not kid-related (oil change and home projects...)

It seems like asking for how to take a very boring adult weekend and making it more boring.

+1. Also making a 1.5 year old and 4 year old do church and brunch out afterwards sounds awful. Take your kids to the pool, go to the park, live a little OP. Consider alternating evenings or early weekday morning workouts with DH so Saturday AM is not entirely taken up by the gym, also as others have suggested, get up and go at 6 am so the gym is done by 830 or 9 and the family can do something. You have a 1.5 year old so you have a good 3-4 more years of this left, figure out how to make it work better for the whole family.

Yeah, how truly terrible it is for the OP to force her kids to have a religious upbringing when they could be going to the pool instead. And then to feed them afterwards? The horror! Note she said brunch out or home for lunch after church. The kids have got to eat somewhere, right? I doubt she's having bottomless mimosas while dragging two kids along. Brunch is just a meal, it isn't a lifestyle.

But anyone with young children knows that *starting* your day at 11 a.m. is a recipe for disaster. They should be getting home and having lunch / nap at that time. If OP wants to prioritize having a religious upbringing, then they need to leave the house at 6 for breakfast and go to an 8 a.m. worship that gives the kids time to run and play before lunch and nap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's strange that OP doesn't highlight any activities/time spent with kids in her first post, focusing instead on a lengthy and unmovable workout time. But then the things she's trying to make time for are also not kid-related (oil change and home projects...)

It seems like asking for how to take a very boring adult weekend and making it more boring.

+1. Also making a 1.5 year old and 4 year old do church and brunch out afterwards sounds awful. Take your kids to the pool, go to the park, live a little OP. Consider alternating evenings or early weekday morning workouts with DH so Saturday AM is not entirely taken up by the gym, also as others have suggested, get up and go at 6 am so the gym is done by 830 or 9 and the family can do something. You have a 1.5 year old so you have a good 3-4 more years of this left, figure out how to make it work better for the whole family.

Yeah, how truly terrible it is for the OP to force her kids to have a religious upbringing when they could be going to the pool instead. And then to feed them afterwards? The horror! Note she said brunch out or home for lunch after church. The kids have got to eat somewhere, right? I doubt she's having bottomless mimosas while dragging two kids along. Brunch is just a meal, it isn't a lifestyle.

But anyone with young children knows that *starting* your day at 11 a.m. is a recipe for disaster. They should be getting home and having lunch / nap at that time. If OP wants to prioritize having a religious upbringing, then they need to leave the house at 6 for breakfast and go to an 8 a.m. worship that gives the kids time to run and play before lunch and nap.

Yep. OP, consider packing a lunch. Then you can do church and a picnic somewhere nice. Gets the kids their run-around and is way less time-consuming than a restaurant.

[Anonymous]

Good grief. My kids have attended church from 9:45-12 most Sundays for more than a decade and they are just fine.

That said, I think part of what OP needs to do is really prioritize what the issues are. I honestly cannot tell of you want more time for yourself, more time for chores or more time for fun activities with the whole family outside the home. If you can really prioritize these, I think it would help you get better answers.

That said, there are a few things that jumped out at me:

1. We consider church a family activity even if the kids are not in the same room as parents. You seem to put it in some other category, but kids being in Sunday school or kid church should be fun for them, not painful.

2. I don’t get why the 4 year olds quiet time isn’t during nap time. I would make the happen simultaneously.

3. Your youngest won’t nap forever.

4. Why not work out while the kid is napping/quiet time?