Getting anything done on weekends

[Anonymous]

I'm a SAHM to 1.5 and 4 yo and my weekends still feel packed sometimes, but granted it is usually with kid stuff - morning at a playground, afternoon at the pool, etc. It just feels like there's very little "free time."

Thankfully we don't have that many projects, but yea, I mean... it can be hard to get things done.... A lot of times if there's a project that really needs to get done, my husband will use naptime and part of the afternoon on it. Or find any way at all possible to involve kids in it.

I agree with others that you can find a better way to incorporate exercise into your daily life. Bike or walk to the playground. Do an online HIIT workout. There are plenty of in-shape people who don't go to the gym.

Can you put your bills on auto pay? Same for online shopping - what are you buying every weekend? And can you sneak it in during the week at lunch or something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do a lot of the online stuff at work. Does no one else do this? Am I a terrible employee?
I also take the car in to get the oil changed on the way to work.

I do agree that your schedule looks a little boring for the kids. I would plan something fun with my non-napper during the baby’s nap and take them out a bit more!

I do the same. I also (apparently) do a lot of DCUM at work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do a lot of the online stuff at work. Does no one else do this? Am I a terrible employee?
I also take the car in to get the oil changed on the way to work.

I do agree that your schedule looks a little boring for the kids. I would plan something fun with my non-napper during the baby’s nap and take them out a bit more!

I do the same. I also (apparently) do a lot of DCUM at work.

Ha! Me too

[Anonymous]

Find a church with multiple masses on Sundays. Mine has a really early one at maybe 8 am, 10 am and 12:15 pm plus a last call mass at 5 pm. That's just on Sundays. There is one on Saturday evening too.

[Anonymous]

Why is bill-paying often touted as a separate activity? I have it set up through my bank for the ones that can’t be put on a credit card. I’ve also tried to time them so they’re all due at roughly the same time. It takes exactly 5-10 minutes a week to make sure nothing wacky’s going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Find a church with multiple masses on Sundays. Mine has a really early one at maybe 8 am, 10 am and 12:15 pm plus a last call mass at 5 pm. That's just on Sundays. There is one on Saturday evening too.

NP- this is not how Protestant churches work. They are services and there's maybe two to choose from tops. Unless you're suggesting OP convert to Catholicism for her weekend schedule...

[Anonymous]

You have church as an inflexible category and that is not the case for most people here.

[Anonymous]

I'm confused why the gym takes from 9-11:30. Is your gym far away? Maybe working out for such a long period of time just isn't a priority for your life right now.

I think you both need to get used to engaging the 4yo with household chores as well. It's ok if they aren't actually very helpful, the point is to keep them supervised and out of trouble and offer them a bit of praise for their effort or motor skill practice or whatever they're able to do. For example my kid's job is to match up all his socks by color. It doesn't actually save me time but it's how I watch him while I fold.

[Anonymous]

Birthday parties tend to be in the morning, so whichever parent is not working out would attend the party with both kids. In place of whatever it is that person is currently doing. Or you would decline the party because you have church. Birthday parties at that age are entirely optional, little kids don't care.

[Anonymous]

OP you are getting things done, just not the things you want to get done. So swap out the gym time for something else. What do you do at night when everyone is asleep?

[Anonymous]

What are you doing during and after nap? It should be possible for one parent to watch both kids for an hour while the other does various chores alone. Then swap and one parent makes dinner while the other watches the kids.

It sounds like you may need to 1) Accept that you won't get much done; and 2) Figure out more efficient or simple ways of doing things. Those ages are tough and in that time period we had a standard grocery order and ate very plain and routine meals. I always clean the bathroom while the kids are playing in the bathtub. I always do the laundry on a certain day of the week so I can fold it while I watch my show. DH makes a big meal on Sundays so that Monday dinner is taken care of. A little attention to planning can save you a lot of time and make you feel like life is less chaotic.

[Anonymous]

I skipped through a lot of replies because it seemed like people were trying to just criticize you.

My kids are 6 and 4 and I remember feeling like you when they were younger. I felt like we had very limited windows to do stuff -- mornings were basically it. Our kids needed set nap times or all fell apart. If they fell asleep on the go, we were screwed. And by the time they got up after their naps and were ready to go out, it felt like we were already winding down for dinner time/bed time. It was really hard and felt restrictive. And, I DID nap when they napped - as much as possible - because I was exhausted all the time.

Honestly, that all shifted when my youngest stopped napping around 3.5. Now, we have the whole day to do stuff. I was just marveling this weekend at how much we can do and get done now -- exercise for the parents; errands (I NEVER felt like I had time for errands before); and family activities / kids stuff.

So, not so much advice as to say that I can relate and imo it's the season you're in. It'll change. It'll get easier. And I hear, it'll get harder again too (when kids activities and social stuff really picks up).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have three kids (5/3/1).

I think there are a few things I don't totally understand. Mostly what it is you are trying to get done?

I agree with your overall point. It is hard to get stuff done on the weekends with small kids! This is just true. But I feel like when you are saying stuff like 'need to do online shopping and pay bills online' I get confused. Can one of you do some of that during the week? I don't have any of that on my weekend list. And if you can't do it during the week this seems like an easy thing to do post bedtime while watching tv or something?

I workout during the week but DH usually goes for a run on the weekend and I'll watch the kids. One day one of us will use nap to mow the lawn and the other parent will watch the non napping kid/s. The other day I will go to the stores to do 'shopping' usually target and a grocery store. I will leave somewhere 11:30-12:30 (baby goes down at noon) and take one kid with me to let DH maximize 'nap' for laundry.

If we have anything 'extra' beyond this standard set of weekend chores, it's tough to fit in and post bedtime is usually where it has to go. And you seem to be focused on church, which is fine, but a mass relocation of children is pretty tough. Church would involve getting everyone dressed, into the car, there, back home, fed, changed etc. So anything like that is going to eat 3 hours of both parents' time.

I feel like you write off everything post nap as a lost cause though and it really doesn't have to be.

Like I said I'm having trouble figuring what it is you are trying to fit in but I'd recommend trying to do whatever it is with one kid, or be comfortable with one parent watching both post nap. But it seems like a waste to do like, electronic bill pay at that time when like...why haven't you already automated all of that? That is not something anyone should be spending much time on.

I can't explain why but I am reading this post PP and I just can't stop laughing. Maybe it's just our similarly aged kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously this sounds like bad scheduling on your part. You should go to the gym at 6am, nap time or when the kids are in bed. That would free up more time with them. What's wrong with going to the gym on a weekday morning or weekday evening?

Bill paying and errand running are easy to do once the kids are asleep (8pm by the latest at your kids ages, so that gives you like 3 hours every night!)

You have tons of free time. Your schedule kind of sounds boring to your kids though... Where's the pool time in the summer, bike rides, picnics, playgrounds, fun errands. Even brunch on Sunday doesn't sound appealing with kids. I have a 2 and a 4 year old. We spend half the weekend doing super fun kid stuff and then the other half tag teaming each other so we can get projects/chores done (but the kids are still having fun with the other parent). Also, my kids LOVE running errands with us. Grocery stores and Home Depot are some of their favorites, clothing stores no way.

Yes, this is what I was thinking - when do you play with or do stuff with your kids? We are like out the door every weekend to do something with the kids. Hiking, playground, play dates, biking, pool.

We certainly trade off so we can each do our own thing sometimes. I do a lot on weeknights as well. I don’t “workout” on the weekends. I might push the baby for a long walk in the stroller, or chase them at the playground or pool. My husband will take older kids on long bike rides, but gym time is early in the morning before work. I aim for 4 days a week and just try to be active on the weekends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find a church with multiple masses on Sundays. Mine has a really early one at maybe 8 am, 10 am and 12:15 pm plus a last call mass at 5 pm. That's just on Sundays. There is one on Saturday evening too.

NP- this is not how Protestant churches work. They are services and there's maybe two to choose from tops. Unless you're suggesting OP convert to Catholicism for her weekend schedule...

There are three Sunday services at my Protestant church. Maybe they need to look for a new church.