Am I out of line for refusing to go on a vacation with my wife?

[Anonymous]

Any trip at all, she watches TV in the hotel room until midnight, then doesn't wake up the next morning until 11:30 AM. The slightest noise, like me using the bathroom at 9AM wakes her up and then she sleeps longer.

So then we have the maid trying to get in and I wind up bringing breakfast back to the room and we eat out of styrofoam with plastic utensils. The vacation day then usually starts at 12:30 or 1:00. I hate it. Everybody else is sightseeing or at the beach early in the morning and I feel like I just wasted a lot of money flying to a place, renting a car, then spending a lot of time in a room. To me, that's not a vacation and it has been like this forever.

[Anonymous]

Just go and leave her in the room to sleep. Get up and go to the beach or to breakfast. Bring a book and go sightseeing. She can come or not.

[Anonymous]

no way. i'd never do that

[Anonymous]

Does she have a medical or psychiatric condition? Has she tried to change? I suggest you have a sightseeing vacation without your wife, and a lounging vacation with your wife. Also work on whatever her issue is. It’s not healthy!

[Anonymous]

This is what she wants to do for vacation. This is what’s relaxing to her. Why can’t you go eat breakfast by yourself? Just bring something to read. Then go work out, go to the beach, whatever, and come back around 12:30.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just go and leave her in the room to sleep. Get up and go to the beach or to breakfast. Bring a book and go sightseeing. She can come or not.

Yes this. Book some sort of resort. You go off and do your own thing and meet her for lunch. Or dinner for that matter.

You should go but there's no reason you need to sit around the room and bring food back for her to eat in paper plates.

[Anonymous]

She sounds so boring. Go but do your own thing like what pp suggested.

[Anonymous]

Why don’t you get up early and do some things on your own? My situation was the reverse. DH saw vacation as time to sleep in, take 2 to shower, eat a leisurely brunch and then nap. I hated it. He was upset at first when I wanted to just go do things on my own because we should be enjoying things together. I had to tell him he was welcome to come with me or sleep in and nap. He was pissed about it for the first few years but he got over it.

If a high energy person marries a sloth it can work. You just have to learn it’s OK to do things on your own.

[Anonymous]

You guys need to rent an apartment or at least a suite. Then she can watch TV without bothering you, and you can get up and do stuff without waking her. And in an apartment you would avoid the housekeeping issue.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are entitled to a preference

[Anonymous]

I like her style.

[Anonymous]

Get two adjoining rooms.

EVERYONE deserves to have a fun and relaxing vacation, *whatever that means to them.*

[Anonymous]

I married a sleeper. Vacation to him is being able to sleep as much as he wants to without guilt. I am an early bird, and wake up wanting to get going. So on vacation I get up when I like, get dressed quietly, take a book and my phone, and go find myself something nice to do - cafe, a walk, buy the paper. When he is up and ready he texts me and I come back to the room and we are together the rest of the day.

Turns out our DS is like me, so now mornings on vacation are time for the two of us to hang out.

[Anonymous]

Talk to her. Make a plan and compromise. Let her pick 3 days to sleep in. The other 3 days she agrees to be up and ready to go out by 9am. On the 3 mornings she sleeps in, you leave and let her sleep. You don’t worry about the maid and get breakfast on your own. She can eat at lunch.

Marriage is all about negotiating. We run things off into the ditch when we don’t talk about things ahead of time. Instead, we blow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just go and leave her in the room to sleep. Get up and go to the beach or to breakfast. Bring a book and go sightseeing. She can come or not.

Yes this. Book some sort of resort. You go off and do your own thing and meet her for lunch. Or dinner for that matter.

You should go but there's no reason you need to sit around the room and bring food back for her to eat in paper plates.

+1

Get up at whatever time you want. Try to be quiet and considerate as you get ready, but there is no reason for you to sit around for hours waiting for her to get up. She can get her own breakfast, or lunch, and you enjoy the beach or the city or whatever and then meet up when she's ready.