Am I out of line for refusing to go on a vacation with my wife?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait... you’re REFUSING to go on vacation with your WIFE because you don’t like that she sleeps in?
Yes, it’s out of line. And adolescent. You’re letting irritation get in the way of rationality. See utterly reasonable and easy suggestions above.

OP: sleeping in is one thing, not expecting a bugle call at 5;30 AM, but 11;30 or 12 noon is wasting half the day. Problem with leaving the room hours earlier is, she's a lite sleeper. Snapping a toothpick would wake her up. So I am held hostage while she sleeps away.

So what happens when you do snap a toothpick, or fill a glass of water? Is she incapable of just going back to sleep if woken up by slight noises? What are discussions about this like? I'm trying to imagine.

[Anonymous]

Tsk , tsk, DCUM! This is OP's hard-earned vacation, and he has the right to enjoy it as he pleases. He's entitled to spend his vacation time as he wants, so they'll just have to have separate vacations.

[Anonymous]

Sleeping til noon wastes so much of your day. You should just leave your wife at the hotel and go do what you want. Do you have kids? Because I can't imagine kids not running amok at 630 am on vacation.

[Anonymous]

What’s she like on weekends, OP? Does she do the same thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sleeping til noon wastes so much of your day. You should just leave your wife at the hotel and go do what you want. Do you have kids? Because I can't imagine kids not running amok at 630 am on vacation.

I’m guessing they either don’t have kids, or these vacations don’t include the kids.

I don’t find it that weird to sleep until noon on vacation, but I find it really weird that she is in bed at midnight and still sleeping until noon. 12 hours?!?! That is extremely bizarre. Is she seriously sleeping that long OP? Or is she up at 9 and then lounges around with coffee and then takes her time getting ready?

[Anonymous]

Do people not vacation prior to getting married? Part of the reason DH and I feel in love was our mutual love of travel and our compatible travel style. OP’s wife’s behavior would be a dealbreaker for me. Is she lazy at home too OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait... you’re REFUSING to go on vacation with your WIFE because you don’t like that she sleeps in?
Yes, it’s out of line. And adolescent. You’re letting irritation get in the way of rationality. See utterly reasonable and easy suggestions above.

OP: sleeping in is one thing, not expecting a bugle call at 5;30 AM, but 11;30 or 12 noon is wasting half the day. Problem with leaving the room hours earlier is, she's a lite sleeper. Snapping a toothpick would wake her up. So I am held hostage while she sleeps away.

Why do pseudo superior morning people always drop this stupid line. 11:30 or 12:00 is not “half the day.” Half the day is mid afternoon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait... you’re REFUSING to go on vacation with your WIFE because you don’t like that she sleeps in?
Yes, it’s out of line. And adolescent. You’re letting irritation get in the way of rationality. See utterly reasonable and easy suggestions above.

OP: sleeping in is one thing, not expecting a bugle call at 5;30 AM, but 11;30 or 12 noon is wasting half the day. Problem with leaving the room hours earlier is, she's a lite sleeper. Snapping a toothpick would wake her up. So I am held hostage while she sleeps away.

Why do pseudo superior morning people always drop this stupid line. 11:30 or 12:00 is not “half the day.” Half the day is mid afternoon.

Sorry, for a lot of people it's half the day. I'm not even a morning person and I know this.

[Anonymous]

OP, you seem to be making a mountain out of a molehill. Rent an Airbnb or a hotel suite and get out earlier as you prefer. This doesn’t seem like an impossible problem to solve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait... you’re REFUSING to go on vacation with your WIFE because you don’t like that she sleeps in?
Yes, it’s out of line. And adolescent. You’re letting irritation get in the way of rationality. See utterly reasonable and easy suggestions above.

OP: sleeping in is one thing, not expecting a bugle call at 5;30 AM, but 11;30 or 12 noon is wasting half the day. Problem with leaving the room hours earlier is, she's a lite sleeper. Snapping a toothpick would wake her up. So I am held hostage while she sleeps away.

Why do pseudo superior morning people always drop this stupid line. 11:30 or 12:00 is not “half the day.” Half the day is mid afternoon.

Sorry, for a lot of people it's half the day. I'm not even a morning person and I know this.

It's a quarter of the day. So we are awake 16 hours a day. So an 8am wake up would putme to bed around midnight. A 6am wake up puts me to bed around 10. 12 pm for a 6 am wake up is a 3rd of your day at best.

[Anonymous]

OP does this cause issues for day to day life at home as well?

My DH is a morning person and I am a night owl...this is amplified on vacation because we don’t have scheduled obligations like we do in normal life.

You need to respect one another. Even if she isn’t ready to go out until noon, you still have what? 10 quality hours together? Isn’t that enough?

We both compromise if we have something planned (an AM excursion or a late night dinner etc) but otherwise we respect each other’s schedule.

Personally, I don’t want to be with my spouse 24/7, even on vacation! And our marriage is good! I love quiet evenings reading after DH falls asleep, or sitting on the balcony watching the waves on a beach trip etc. DH loves roaming around in the AM and exploring on his own. He works out, or hits the beach/pool, grabs a leisurely breakfast and lingers over coffee etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait... you’re REFUSING to go on vacation with your WIFE because you don’t like that she sleeps in?
Yes, it’s out of line. And adolescent. You’re letting irritation get in the way of rationality. See utterly reasonable and easy suggestions above.

OP: sleeping in is one thing, not expecting a bugle call at 5;30 AM, but 11;30 or 12 noon is wasting half the day. Problem with leaving the room hours earlier is, she's a lite sleeper. Snapping a toothpick would wake her up. So I am held hostage while she sleeps away.

Why do pseudo superior morning people always drop this stupid line. 11:30 or 12:00 is not “half the day.” Half the day is mid afternoon.

If you have children it is half of their day. So sleeping until noon when your kids get up at six or seven should be the exception, because you’re offloading half the day’s childcare into your spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait... you’re REFUSING to go on vacation with your WIFE because you don’t like that she sleeps in?
Yes, it’s out of line. And adolescent. You’re letting irritation get in the way of rationality. See utterly reasonable and easy suggestions above.

OP: sleeping in is one thing, not expecting a bugle call at 5;30 AM, but 11;30 or 12 noon is wasting half the day. Problem with leaving the room hours earlier is, she's a lite sleeper. Snapping a toothpick would wake her up. So I am held hostage while she sleeps away.

Get a suite. Listen to an audiobook or a podcast for an hour. You’re being extremely dramatic. “Held hostage” my goodness.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you have great lines of communication… Not.

[Anonymous]

Love getting up early on vacation, drinking my coffee somewhere scenic, maybe getting some exercise in, exploring in the morning quiet all by myself - or biking with a kid to pick up donuts or get some morning fishing in. Just writing that makes me excited for my next upcoming trip! DH likes lazing then puttering, which drives me crazy, so I don’t hang around for it!

Figure out how to enjoy that time and meet up with your wife when she’s ready to go. Suite or AirBnB is a good idea if you can’t sleep with her up