Husband wants to dictate what happens with property I’m set to inherit
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Anonymous
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My family have had a small lake cabin since the 1920s. I grew up there in the summers, as did my mom. I enjoy going there now in the summers to meet up with my siblings and their kids. It’s the one place that feels permanent in this world to me. All the neighbors have known each other for generations— a special place.
When my dad dies, us three siblings will inherit the place. My DH is adamantly opposed to me owning it because it needs some work and also because one of my siblings has made bad life choices. So it’s not an ideal situation but it makes me so sad to think of giving it up. We have the money to pay for upkeep— but DH hates going there and prefers to spend that money on things we both enjoy. We never had kids. I suggested that if he is uncomfortable with me owning the place, perhaps I could just help out my sibs with a share of the expenses. To which my DH said that is ridiculous for me to pay if I don’t own it. It feels like we are going in circles here. My DH is semi retired and I am the main breadwinner. Another point I’d make is that my DH definitely has a controlling personality. Generally I call him on his BS and he knocks it off. But in this case he’s really being tough to deal with. Am I being unreasonable? He’s making me feel selfish. Maybe I am being selfish. I just need some good old DCUM advice or kick in the pants. |
Anonymous
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Can confirm he is being a jerk. Use your money on upkeep as long as you are not tired of it and schedule short vacations there without him to spend time with your siblings.
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Anonymous
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Keep the house. And you’ll own one third of it, so you’ll pay one third of the expenses, so it’s not so bad.
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Anonymous
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You want to keep the house and it sounds like you can afford to, so keep it.
I will say that owning real estate with siblings can be messy. |
Anonymous
| Keep the cabin, ditch the husband. |
Anonymous
| Stick to your guns, it’s important! |
Anonymous
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Is DH old? disability? why isn't he working more?
As for the cabin, you are both right. DH is right that it's a BAD idea to own with your siblings. My family had similar experience. You are right too - it's YOUR inheritance, your family cabin, you are breadwinner. Your opinion carries greater weight in this matter. But honey, I think he is right. Spend a month there for memories. Then sell it. You can roll that into a new vacation home. |
Anonymous
| OP would your siblings let you buy them out? Can you afford that? We have a lake property with similar situation and ultimately my father bought out the siblings because the others could not afford upkeep. They put the money in to making it rent-able and a bit less rustic and now use it for a few weeks with the rest of summer rented to friends and extended family (not listed on AirBNB or anything, just enough to cover maintenance costs). |
Anonymous
| He either hates the house or hates your family. |
Anonymous
| Well WTF else can you do? Your siblings aren’t going to buy you out. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
This, you are working, no kids. If he has a money issue, tell him to get back to work. |
Anonymous
+2 |
Anonymous
| He’s definitely being a jerk op. Stuck to your guns. That house means a lot! |
Anonymous
| One of your siblings is going to end up living in the cabin and you will be paying for it. Read the real estate section of this forum. |