Can we talk about tipping?

[Anonymous]

I really feel that tipping is out of control in this country. I went to a new salon and paid with a debit card. The tip options were 25%, 30%, 35%, or custom. That is A LOT of money on a $200+ bill! I took my kids to an ice cream shop and was prompted to tip the person for scooping ice cream! Nope. This is becoming more and more common. With few exceptions, people who work behind counters should not rely on tips or expect them. It is their employers responsibility to pay them a decent wage and reward good work with raises or bonuses. Why are we letting them pass this responsibility on to us? Waiters and waitresses earn tips because the service we receive from them can make or break a dining experience. The tip should be based on the quality of service and that’s how it used to be. But now we are expected to leave at least 20% even for crappy service!

I worked at a steakhouse/buffet restaurant in HS and college (think Golden Coral or Sizzler). When I worked behind the counter, I got paid a decent wage and earned raises. My boss would have NEVER let us set up a tip jar. He knew it was his job to pay us, not the customers’. When I waited tables, my wage was $2.13, but when I did a good job, I made way more money than anyone else in the place. When I did a bad job, I didn’t make much at all. This motivated me to do my best and I learned so much about working with people. My boss gave us constant training and advice for making customers happy. It was great advice, and I very rarely see these things in restaurants today, even in much nicer restaurants. So why are the standards so much lower now in fine dining establishments than they were at a cheesy steakhouse in the 90s? I think it’s because restaurants make their employees think they are entitled to tips and that it is not tied to their level of service. My boss knew that waiting tables took skills that not everyone possesses, and he was selective about who could wait tables. He only hired people with experience. Those without started out behind the counter and could maybe be “promoted’ to waitress eventually.

Ok, rant over. This ended up sounding a bit overly dramatic. Lol. Just so freaking sick of tip jars and “would you like to add a gratuity?”

[Anonymous]

Sure. We do every single day why should today be different? We get it. You’re cheap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really feel that tipping is out of control in this country. I went to a new salon and paid with a debit card. The tip options were 25%, 30%, 35%, or custom. That is A LOT of money on a $200+ bill! I took my kids to an ice cream shop and was prompted to tip the person for scooping ice cream! Nope. This is becoming more and more common. With few exceptions, people who work behind counters should not rely on tips or expect them. It is their employers responsibility to pay them a decent wage and reward good work with raises or bonuses. Why are we letting them pass this responsibility on to us? Waiters and waitresses earn tips because the service we receive from them can make or break a dining experience. The tip should be based on the quality of service and that’s how it used to be. But now we are expected to leave at least 20% even for crappy service!

I worked at a steakhouse/buffet restaurant in HS and college (think Golden Coral or Sizzler). When I worked behind the counter, I got paid a decent wage and earned raises. My boss would have NEVER let us set up a tip jar. He knew it was his job to pay us, not the customers’. When I waited tables, my wage was $2.13, but when I did a good job, I made way more money than anyone else in the place. When I did a bad job, I didn’t make much at all. This motivated me to do my best and I learned so much about working with people. My boss gave us constant training and advice for making customers happy. It was great advice, and I very rarely see these things in restaurants today, even in much nicer restaurants. So why are the standards so much lower now in fine dining establishments than they were at a cheesy steakhouse in the 90s? I think it’s because restaurants make their employees think they are entitled to tips and that it is not tied to their level of service. My boss knew that waiting tables took skills that not everyone possesses, and he was selective about who could wait tables. He only hired people with experience. Those without started out behind the counter and could maybe be “promoted’ to waitress eventually.

Ok, rant over. This ended up sounding a bit overly dramatic. Lol. Just so freaking sick of tip jars and “would you like to add a gratuity?”

Meaning you got paid a decent wage for living at your parent's house and in the college dorm paid by parents or loans that wouldn't kick in for another four years.

Don't be stupid.

[Anonymous]

I agree OP. I’ve down to boat rides while I’m on vacation, one was a kids pirate cruise and the other one a sunset cruise. Both were quite a lot per person and then we were encouraged to tip as well. We did, because we enjoyed it and the crew were great both times. But each trip probably netted $1k so someone is making a fortune…….

[Anonymous]

Done two boat rides that should say

[Anonymous]

OP, what was your manager’s advice for making customers happy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP. I’ve down to boat rides while I’m on vacation, one was a kids pirate cruise and the other one a sunset cruise. Both were quite a lot per person and then we were encouraged to tip as well. We did, because we enjoyed it and the crew were great both times. But each trip probably netted $1k so someone is making a fortune…….

No one is getting rich on seasonal weekend pirate cruises. These are performers for whom gigs are few and far between.

[Anonymous]

I’m happy to tip 20-30% for people earning tipped wages. For other services, I usually cap at $10-20.

[Anonymous]

Like airlines with baggage fees that became forever fees, so too will because-pandemic-in-your face-no-cash-please-pay-on-the-screen-and-select-a-healthy -tip for the individual who scooped your weird, mediocre ice cream.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, what was your manager’s advice for making customers happy?

It was a ton of little things. A lot of them only apply to casual restaurants but not all of them. Some that come to mind:

Don’t constantly interrupt conversations to announce what you are doing or to constantly ask if everything is ok.

For families with small children, bring extra napkins and wet wipe.

The iced tea was hot brewed so the ice melted fast. So we brought them an extra cup of ice. People loved that.

Set the meal down so that the main entree is closest to the person.

Don’t ask if you can take their plate away. People make it obvious when they are done with their plate so that you can take it away without asking or announcing.

Refilling coffee was an art form. If they added cream or sugar, don’t refill without permission. People don’t like it when the coffee:sweetener ratio is messed up.

Bring refills and extra plates for buffet without asking. Maybe they won’t use them, but they almost always did, so not worth interrupting them to ask.

Don’t assume the woman ordered the salad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sure. We do every single day why should today be different? We get it. You’re cheap.

It’s the employer who is being cheap. Tip jars are tacky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what was your manager’s advice for making customers happy?

It was a ton of little things. A lot of them only apply to casual restaurants but not all of them. Some that come to mind:

Don’t constantly interrupt conversations to announce what you are doing or to constantly ask if everything is ok.

For families with small children, bring extra napkins and wet wipe.

The iced tea was hot brewed so the ice melted fast. So we brought them an extra cup of ice. People loved that.

Set the meal down so that the main entree is closest to the person.

Don’t ask if you can take their plate away. People make it obvious when they are done with their plate so that you can take it away without asking or announcing.

Refilling coffee was an art form. If they added cream or sugar, don’t refill without permission. People don’t like it when the coffee:sweetener ratio is messed up.

Bring refills and extra plates for buffet without asking. Maybe they won’t use them, but they almost always did, so not worth interrupting them to ask.

Don’t assume the woman ordered the salad.

good stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what was your manager’s advice for making customers happy?

It was a ton of little things. A lot of them only apply to casual restaurants but not all of them. Some that come to mind:

Don’t constantly interrupt conversations to announce what you are doing or to constantly ask if everything is ok.

For families with small children, bring extra napkins and wet wipe.

The iced tea was hot brewed so the ice melted fast. So we brought them an extra cup of ice. People loved that.

Set the meal down so that the main entree is closest to the person.

Don’t ask if you can take their plate away. People make it obvious when they are done with their plate so that you can take it away without asking or announcing.

Refilling coffee was an art form. If they added cream or sugar, don’t refill without permission. People don’t like it when the coffee:sweetener ratio is messed up.

Bring refills and extra plates for buffet without asking. Maybe they won’t use them, but they almost always did, so not worth interrupting them to ask.

Don’t assume the woman ordered the salad.

Those are some good ones! I do think a lot of wait staff assume 20% is the base and it is not worth the extra effort to provide really good service for an extra 5-10% above that. Also, it is probably true that there are less excellent managers who are willing to train new wait staff.

[Anonymous]

OP people who feel as you do should boycott all restaurants and other places where the tipping culture makes you feel uncomfortable. There are plenty of places to get food that do not require tips. You act as if you were not aware that tips are expected for good service. Or that you were not aware that many people's livelihood depends on tips.

As much as you might not like it, it's a fact. All the whining on DCUM in the world is not going to change that. So stop punishing people who rely on tips for their income just because you happen to disagree with it.

My daughter works in a fine dining restaurant and makes great money because she works hard and does a great job. Not every customer tips well but the ones who do more than make up for the ones who don't who are actually a small minority. Most people who frequent an establishment like that do actually get how it works.

I can see where servers in lower end restaurants ought to make more in their hourly wage because unfortunately there are a lot of cheap people like you who want others to serve them a meal but don't want to compensate them according to the present system.

[Anonymous]

I feel like posts on tipping have gotten out of control on DCUM. Every week there’s a new one, half the people complain about tip screens, the other half call them cheap.

Restaurants don’t put much effort into training people because 1. The turnover rate is so high, it doesn’t make sense to put that much time and effort into someone who will leave in a couple months and 2. The managers were all servers who couldn’t get out of the industry, so obviously not the most motivated bunch. Managers are also all old and tired and hate their life because they’re 50 and managing immature 22 year olds at 10pm on a Saturday night when they’d rather be in bed.

I don’t tip except at restaurants, and if they say anything or give me a dirty look, I ask why their boss refuses to pay them a decent wage.