Nanny resentful

[Anonymous]

Had a nanny who’s been watching 10 yo for 6 months. She has done a great job w supervising remote school, gets groceries I also for one every 2 weeks or so, does an occasional errand. She has had a few fits where she felt like she was working too much and curtailed her hours to 8/day (it was 9). She complained about various things (driving son to lessons, during which she can relax and get coffee; helping me move some light stuff when our housing situation changed); I have rectified what I could (shortened her hours three days a week (which she returned into 5 d/week), paying her for gas, saying nothing when she started having DC make his own lunch, allowing her to leave mid-day for doctors appointments, allowing her to care for DC at her house when she don’t like our temporary June lodgings; bonusing her for her birthday ($100) and for the moving help ($250). She said she would stay through Kune and then on June 1 gave me 2 weeks notice. I did not give her a hard time about quitting 2 weeks early. I seldom see her bc she arrives after I leave for work and leaves before I return. Her last day was Friday and instead of picking up her paycheck in person like I asked she came to get it when I was out, did not return my call and made zero attempt to say thank you, goodbye or otherwise close the 6 months. It has really bugged me, as she is making $20/hour and I accommodated her a lot, but she bahaved as if I exploited her. WWYD? She a a recent college grad and I feel like writing her a note on how you leave a job, even one you dislike.

[Anonymous]

She clearly didn't value her time working for you and doesn't even see the value of having you as a reference for a future job. You can say (or text) what you want to say, but it's likely to fall on deaf ears.

[Anonymous]

Nannying is boring. Does a 10 year old need a nanny all day? She’s a college grad. She can find more engaging work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nannying is boring. Does a 10 year old need a nanny all day? She’s a college grad. She can find more engaging work.

Ten year old needed a nanny bc of remote school which needed supervision and I’m not leaving kid home alone all day every day. If she’s could find better work she could have done that before I hired her; actually the job was great for I thought bc she could study for her teacher licensing exams and do other stuff while kid was in remote school. Her main issue seemed to be that she just didn’t want to work much overall, like wanted to be done with work at 3pm like a teacher would be.

[Anonymous]

You consider paying her for the gas to drive your kid around, and paying her extra to do extra work related to a move “accommodations”?

She taught your kid he useful skill of making his own lunch and you didn’t thank her but think she should be grateful you didn’t complain?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You consider paying her for the gas to drive your kid around, and paying her extra to do extra work related to a move “accommodations”?

She taught your kid he useful skill of making his own lunch and you didn’t thank her but think she should be grateful you didn’t complain?

You can't assume that from the post.

[Anonymous]

You need to move on. You kept asking the nanny to do things outside of her contract - it's not her job to help you move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to move on. You kept asking the nanny to do things outside of her contract - it's not her job to help you move.

That was the only think. Everything else — occasional errands, laundry for DC, remote school, lessons— was as advertised.

[Anonymous]

you asked her to help you move??? She is a nanny not a mover. I wouldn’t care if you paid me $250, I don’t move other people. I hire movers when I move and expect adults with good jobs to do the same.

You really think you were an awesome employer. it honestly sounds like it sucked working for you. And how dare you be upset that she didn’t answer your edict to come pick up her pay when you deemed it. There apparently was no reason for you to be there. She was sick of you and couldn’t stand one more minute of seeing you. Maybe reflect on that.

and I am not a nanny and have never been one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you asked her to help you move??? She is a nanny not a mover. I wouldn’t care if you paid me $250, I don’t move other people. I hire movers when I move and expect adults with good jobs to do the same.

You really think you were an awesome employer. it honestly sounds like it sucked working for you. And how dare you be upset that she didn’t answer your edict to come pick up her pay when you deemed it. There apparently was no reason for you to be there. She was sick of you and couldn’t stand one more minute of seeing you. Maybe reflect on that.

and I am not a nanny and have never been one.

Calm down. This consisted of me neatly arranging some lightweight bags of stuff by the front door, her putting them in her truck, and bringing them to the entrance of our destination a mile away, while I was at work, during her work day. Everything heavy or difficult I did myself. It was just a few things that wouldn’t fit in my packed vehicle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You consider paying her for the gas to drive your kid around, and paying her extra to do extra work related to a move “accommodations”?

She taught your kid he useful skill of making his own lunch and you didn’t thank her but think she should be grateful you didn’t complain?

+1 Many of the things you're citing as treating your nanny exceptionally well are standard practices. In fact, paying for gas to cart your kid around is not something extra, and I hope that if she used her own car, so I hope you paid her something extra for that, because often parents provide their own car for the nanny to drive., It's also not a bad thing for a 10 year old to make their own lunch. And allowing her time for doctor's appointments is also par for the course when you have a nanny. It's a person you're employing, not a daycare center, they'll need time off occasionally to go about their lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You consider paying her for the gas to drive your kid around, and paying her extra to do extra work related to a move “accommodations”?

She taught your kid he useful skill of making his own lunch and you didn’t thank her but think she should be grateful you didn’t complain?

+1 Many of the things you're citing as treating your nanny exceptionally well are standard practices. In fact, paying for gas to cart your kid around is not something extra, and I hope that if she used her own car, so I hope you paid her something extra for that, because often parents provide their own car for the nanny to drive., It's also not a bad thing for a 10 year old to make their own lunch. And allowing her time for doctor's appointments is also par for the course when you have a nanny. It's a person you're employing, not a daycare center, they'll need time off occasionally to go about their lives.

I paid her IRS mileage rates for her mileage/gas, totally standard. I said “adjustments” not “exceptional benefits.” “Accommodate” refers to her leaving an hour earlier than she was hired for and arriving an hour later, and letting her supervise in her own home instead of ours when she wanted to. I don’t think there are too many nanny jobs where you can do your own work 6 hours a day while a 10 year old is in remote school, and makes his own lunch, it’s a lot easier than watching a toddler or younger child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you asked her to help you move??? She is a nanny not a mover. I wouldn’t care if you paid me $250, I don’t move other people. I hire movers when I move and expect adults with good jobs to do the same.

You really think you were an awesome employer. it honestly sounds like it sucked working for you. And how dare you be upset that she didn’t answer your edict to come pick up her pay when you deemed it. There apparently was no reason for you to be there. She was sick of you and couldn’t stand one more minute of seeing you. Maybe reflect on that.

and I am not a nanny and have never been one.

Calm down. This consisted of me neatly arranging some lightweight bags of stuff by the front door, her putting them in her truck, and bringing them to the entrance of our destination a mile away, while I was at work, during her work day. Everything heavy or difficult I did myself. It was just a few things that wouldn’t fit in my packed vehicle.

are you really that dumb? that is moving! Why didn’t you hire someone to do it for you? There are plenty of small
moving companies around or people looking for jobs who would have gladly done it. You are terrible. And do yourself a favor do not tell anyone you know you did this because they will talk about you behind your back and how nasty you were to your many so she quit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You consider paying her for the gas to drive your kid around, and paying her extra to do extra work related to a move “accommodations”?

She taught your kid he useful skill of making his own lunch and you didn’t thank her but think she should be grateful you didn’t complain?

+1 Many of the things you're citing as treating your nanny exceptionally well are standard practices. In fact, paying for gas to cart your kid around is not something extra, and I hope that if she used her own car, so I hope you paid her something extra for that, because often parents provide their own car for the nanny to drive., It's also not a bad thing for a 10 year old to make their own lunch. And allowing her time for doctor's appointments is also par for the course when you have a nanny. It's a person you're employing, not a daycare center, they'll need time off occasionally to go about their lives.

I paid her IRS mileage rates for her mileage/gas, totally standard. I said “adjustments” not “exceptional benefits.” “Accommodate” refers to her leaving an hour earlier than she was hired for and arriving an hour later, and letting her supervise in her own home instead of ours when she wanted to. I don’t think there are too many nanny jobs where you can do your own work 6 hours a day while a 10 year old is in remote school, and makes his own lunch, it’s a lot easier than watching a toddler or younger child.

True. Watching a 10 year old is a cushy gig by most nanny standards. But you didn't compensate her for use of her car,(depreciation) and the moving thing was definitely a bad ask to someone who considers themselves an education professional. "Letting" her supervise in her own home because she didn't like yours for some unexplained reason is also not a benefit, as it involves wear and tear and use of resources in her home.

[Anonymous]

Sorry but not surprised the nanny disliked working for you, OP. You sound very entitled.