Is a cell phone essential in middle school?

[Anonymous]

I’m not really enthusiastic about my kid having a phone. I’d rather he find other ways to entertain himself and he usually does. But now I’m wondering if he’ll miss out on social interactions without one. He’s finishing sixth grade and says more than 90 percent of kids have them. Is that accurate? Has anyone held out longer than seventh grade?

[Anonymous]

My 6th grader has never even mentioned getting one. So I’m guessing I’ll be able to put it off until 9th grade.

[Anonymous]

My kids got a cell phone once they started going places without a parent. So end of 4th grade or somewhere in 5th, depending on maturity and interest.

[Anonymous]

It's not essential, but it's helpful. They do communicate with texts, there is a class-wide text chat. My kid says all but 2 kids have a phone. Your kid probably would miss out on some social interactions but that's not the end of the world if it's important to you that he not have a phone yet.

He will be seeing whatever other kids are looking at on their phones, though, so don't think you are shielding him from unsupervised internet time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids got a cell phone once they started going places without a parent. So end of 4th grade or somewhere in 5th, depending on maturity and interest.

Hm. OP here. My kid has been going places without a parent for three years. He walks a mile to school on his own. He’s also extremely mature. I haven’t seen a need for a phone. I mostly don’t want it to be a time such that takes him away from doing creative stuff, reading or doing homework. But I am concerned about socially and don’t want him to be left out.

I’m a little confused about the PP who said that the class all have a group chat. This is middle school. My kid has nine classes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids got a cell phone once they started going places without a parent. So end of 4th grade or somewhere in 5th, depending on maturity and interest.

Hm. OP here. My kid has been going places without a parent for three years. He walks a mile to school on his own. He’s also extremely mature. I haven’t seen a need for a phone. I mostly don’t want it to be a time such that takes him away from doing creative stuff, reading or doing homework. But I am concerned about socially and don’t want him to be left out.

I’m a little confused about the PP who said that the class all have a group chat. This is middle school. My kid has nine classes.

I am that PP. it is advisory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not really enthusiastic about my kid having a phone. I’d rather he find other ways to entertain himself and he usually does. But now I’m wondering if he’ll miss out on social interactions without one. He’s finishing sixth grade and says more than 90 percent of kids have them. Is that accurate? Has anyone held out longer than seventh grade?

Cellphone to reach parents as they start having more different activities is helpful, and maybe for monitored texting.

SMARTPHONE is not required. Yes, you can still buy a “regular” phone super cheaply, and then reassess for a smartphone when they get to HS.

[Anonymous]

You don't have to allow apps or even the internet if you get a smart phone. You keep it heavily locked down. My rule was 6th or when you go on your own places. Covid hit with 6th so we waited till this summer. It is for my convince to contact my kid and to track my kid. If its abuse it gets taken. We heavily monitor everything.

[Anonymous]

We waited to get my daughter a cell phone until the end of 8th grade. Since we gave her the phone, 99% of our arguments are about the phone. I'm grateful everyday that we waited as long as we did because it is such a pain in the ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not really enthusiastic about my kid having a phone. I’d rather he find other ways to entertain himself and he usually does. But now I’m wondering if he’ll miss out on social interactions without one. He’s finishing sixth grade and says more than 90 percent of kids have them. Is that accurate? Has anyone held out longer than seventh grade?

Cellphone to reach parents as they start having more different activities is helpful, and maybe for monitored texting.

SMARTPHONE is not required. Yes, you can still buy a “regular” phone super cheaply, and then reassess for a smartphone when they get to HS.

This. I just bought my 12 year old a flip phone (just finished sixth grade). Helpful to be able to reach him and vice versa so he can have some independence walking around with friends etc. also helpful for him to set up times to see friends. But I didn’t want him having access to all the social media, internet, etc on his pocket at all times yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not really enthusiastic about my kid having a phone. I’d rather he find other ways to entertain himself and he usually does. But now I’m wondering if he’ll miss out on social interactions without one. He’s finishing sixth grade and says more than 90 percent of kids have them. Is that accurate? Has anyone held out longer than seventh grade?

Yes

[Anonymous]

Yes, based on what I’ve seen, that’s accurate.

- Sixth grade public school teacher

[Anonymous]

Parent who got their kids a brick in 6th here. Meaning, they had unlimited talk and text, but no internet. Not even with wifi.

Gave them the carrot of "if straight As in 6th and 7th, will get you a smart phone in 8th." All od them achieved this....

Meanwhile, we had a family Ipad they could use for internet in our family room.

My point in saying all this is I get where you are coming from. And, if your kids don't have a phone, their social lives will be curtailed. Kids make plans, talk about forgotten homework assignments, etc via the cell phone. Even kids sitting across from each other, and even next to each other onthe bus to and from school, are texting each other.

So, get them one. Make sure it's in your room, or the kitchen, or somewhere not their bedroom overnight. Teach them how to use it responsibly. This is an important skill they need to have. Have them sign a tech contract that outlines, when they don't follow the rules the consequences are:
First time - No phone for 48 hours
Second time - No phone for a week
Third time - there had better not be a third time

Just google tween tech contract and you'll find many. Pull the items that sound good to you

[Anonymous]

Yes. They are essential for social reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parent who got their kids a brick in 6th here. Meaning, they had unlimited talk and text, but no internet. Not even with wifi.

NP here and OP we are in the same situation as you. We know a number of families who held out this year. Would like to hear about good talk/text phones from anyone who has given them to their kids.