Is a cell phone essential in middle school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

No not essential and truthfully causes more problems and headaches. Folks keep giving them to kids younger and younger. No 11 year old needs a smartphone.

It hasn't caused any problems or headaches. My child is 14 and has had a smartphone for three years now. No one has to get their kid one, of course, but we have had no incidents or regrets.

For you. In general this is not true. Middle schools have created whole cell phone holding spots and principals have entire conversations about them, because they cause problems for this age group.

[Anonymous]

We held off until 7th grade, and my DC was among the last of his friends to get a phone. I agree that text is essential for a social life for a teen these days.

I am laughing at those who think they’re limiting their kid’s access to the more questionable parts of the internet by not giving them/limiting their use of a smart phone. Your kid has plenty of friends with older siblings who will be happy to show them anything they’re interested in (even if they don’t know they’re interested yet).

[Anonymous]

NP - we gave 11 yo DC a smart phone this summer made into a dumb phone - it can talk, text, and has music but I disabled safari, apps, etc. He’s only on it to text and update about safety and it gives me peace of mind so that he has some freedom.

He has friends who are on theirs constantly - discord, gaming, etc - and I knew that would not work for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 5th grader has a phone as do most of his friends. For those of you who don't allow your kids to have phones, how do they make plans to meet up with their friends? We have 3 pools in our neighborhood and it's already started, them deciding which pool (among themselves) to go to and then they meet up. Do you all still "schedule play dates for your middle schoolers? Isn't that weird? My son is out the door every day that it's nice outside and has planned for himself to meet at the basketball courts, pool, or run around in the creek/woods that run through my neighborhood. None of this (thankfully!!) Is orchestrated by me. I'm not sure how my kid would have a social life without a phone and I'm sure as hell glad he's not sitting around the house all day.

My rising 6th grader uses her iPod kids messenger mainly to communicate with her friends this type of stuff (like the pool example). Or skype with the friends that don’t have kids messenger - but that is more for long conversations.

None if her friends have a smart phone and only two of them (twins) have a phone at all - one of those where you can only call parents. I am planning on getting one of those soon. And one with texts/calls to anyone maybe in 7 or 8th grade. Smartphone when she is a senior… she can use the internet through her iPod or laptop meanwhile.

[Anonymous]

I showed this thread to my 13 yr old. He laughed. He’s had a phone since he was 8. iPhone, iPad Pro, gaming laptop, AirPod pros, and Apple Watch. No problems or issues. He writes code, uses Discord, blogs, plays video games, does his hobbies, CAD, etc.

His school has been on a computer for the past yr and a half and he texts his tutors on his phone and coordinates lessons, etc. His phone has been the main way he keeps in contact with the outside world. He never watches TV. Yes, he needs a phone

[Anonymous]

We make our kids wait til the summer before 8th. They manage to survive. Definitely among the last to get one, but by then they aren’t as crazed about having one as they were in 5th... social skills are learned, and I think by forcing them to do so without the crutch of a phone serves them well. They all eventually become typical teens who love their Precious in high school, but they are at least a little more mature at that point and can see the benefits of occasionally looking up!

[Anonymous]

For all the parents on here who have 13/14/15 year olds and are like, we have them a phone early, no problems! Please find and read the thread about Things I wished I’d done differently, and like every single post mentioned giving their kids a phone too early. Once you do, there’s no going back.

I’ll also put in a plug for making your kid buy their own phone or making $30/month or something to give you to pay for their data. Skin in the game and all that.

I realize I’m an outlier but remember that the Silicon Valley bros who become parents don’t give their kids technology so early. They know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For all the parents on here who have 13/14/15 year olds and are like, we have them a phone early, no problems! Please find and read the thread about Things I wished I’d done differently, and like every single post mentioned giving their kids a phone too early. Once you do, there’s no going back.

I’ll also put in a plug for making your kid buy their own phone or making $30/month or something to give you to pay for their data. Skin in the game and all that.

I realize I’m an outlier but remember that the Silicon Valley bros who become parents don’t give their kids technology so early. They know.

I agree that phone are addictive especially GAMING and YouTube and all the other crap I don’t even know about.
But, if a parent disables a lot of those features and the kid uses the phone for texting and FaceTiming, I see no harm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I showed this thread to my 13 yr old. He laughed. He’s had a phone since he was 8. iPhone, iPad Pro, gaming laptop, AirPod pros, and Apple Watch. No problems or issues. He writes code, uses Discord, blogs, plays video games, does his hobbies, CAD, etc.

His school has been on a computer for the past yr and a half and he texts his tutors on his phone and coordinates lessons, etc. His phone has been the main way he keeps in contact with the outside world. He never watches TV. Yes, he needs a phone

DS has no issues with “getting off his devices” and doing what he suppose to do. Gets straight As and plays at an elite level in his hobbies which requires a phone. His coaches live in Argentina and Armenia. His coding tutor and his friends for his other hobbies are all over the world too.

DS knows several kids who cannot get off their devices and they are always the kids whose parents strictly controlled their access: they never learned to self regulate their online use so when they get access, they won’t get off their devices.