Is a cell phone essential in middle school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No not essential and truthfully causes more problems and headaches. Folks keep giving them to kids younger and younger. No 11 year old needs a smartphone.

There was a post on DCUM a week or two ago where someone said their kindergartener has a phone because it’s basically no different than a tablet. We’re all doomed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No not essential and truthfully causes more problems and headaches. Folks keep giving them to kids younger and younger. No 11 year old needs a smartphone.

There was a post on DCUM a week or two ago where someone said their kindergartener has a phone because it’s basically no different than a tablet. We’re all doomed.

That was basically how it was in both of my DC’s K classes. Only about three kids didn’t have them Including mine.

[Anonymous]

DS in 6th has an IPhone XR.

He
-doesn’t have any social media on it (or on any device).
-will occasionally watch YouTube videos.
-texts occasionally, he texts in group texts for individual classes.
-uses Apple Pay/Apple Cash frequently, Starbucks, DD, WaWa, Target, Whole Foods etc.
-has location services on so we can see where is
-FaceTime and zoom with friends and grandparents
-has Outlook calendar/alarms linked to his school account
-uses meditation app daily

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids got a cell phone once they started going places without a parent. So end of 4th grade or somewhere in 5th, depending on maturity and interest.

Hm. OP here. My kid has been going places without a parent for three years. He walks a mile to school on his own. He’s also extremely mature. I haven’t seen a need for a phone. I mostly don’t want it to be a time such that takes him away from doing creative stuff, reading or doing homework. But I am concerned about socially and don’t want him to be left out.

I’m a little confused about the PP who said that the class all have a group chat. This is middle school. My kid has nine classes.

When we were kids, there were pay phones everywhere. What if he were walking somewhere and needed you for whatever reason?

[Anonymous]

Im struggling with this decision, too. My 12yo is off to MS in Fall. We've had a few occasions this spring/summer actually, when it would have been extremely helpful for him to have a phone. (Soccer practice ended early, he was meeting friends at a park and the friend misunderstood which park, etc.). He is most definitely NOT mature for his age, though. He has ADHD and is rather impulsive. We've thought about getting him a flip phone, so that there would be no distractions on it. But, how are non-smartphones viewed amongst middle schoolers? Because if it's something he would be embarassed to use/carry, then there's no point. (And, yes, I know there is nothing embarassing about a flip phone. But I'm not 12.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No not essential and truthfully causes more problems and headaches. Folks keep giving them to kids younger and younger. No 11 year old needs a smartphone.

There was a post on DCUM a week or two ago where someone said their kindergartener has a phone because it’s basically no different than a tablet. We’re all doomed.

It isn't any different except cellular service. I wouldn't do it but their choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Im struggling with this decision, too. My 12yo is off to MS in Fall. We've had a few occasions this spring/summer actually, when it would have been extremely helpful for him to have a phone. (Soccer practice ended early, he was meeting friends at a park and the friend misunderstood which park, etc.). He is most definitely NOT mature for his age, though. He has ADHD and is rather impulsive. We've thought about getting him a flip phone, so that there would be no distractions on it. But, how are non-smartphones viewed amongst middle schoolers? Because if it's something he would be embarassed to use/carry, then there's no point. (And, yes, I know there is nothing embarassing about a flip phone. But I'm not 12.)

Get him a regular phone and don't allow him to download apps/games/internet browser so he has texting, phone and tracking.

[Anonymous]

Apple Watch only.

[Anonymous]

I really wanted to wait until later, but my 12 y.o is getting a phone before going back to school next fall.

During the last few months of school year, she was involved in multiple school activities that she had to contact me for change of schedule, or early pick ups, etc. once in a while. She was asking teachers to use they phone, but she told us she does not like keep asking others to let her use their phone. If she could walk home from school, we might have waited a little longer.

She has been using my iPad to text/face time with her friends. I think using mom's account was not cool but she and her friends were okay with it.

[Anonymous]

I don't have teens so I'm going to ask the dumb question but how often do older kids really need to reach their parents? Let's say practice gets out early, it seems like an 11-12 year old could wait at the field until the normally designated time. Probably a little boring but it doesn't seem like a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have teens so I'm going to ask the dumb question but how often do older kids really need to reach their parents? Let's say practice gets out early, it seems like an 11-12 year old could wait at the field until the normally designated time. Probably a little boring but it doesn't seem like a big deal.

I text my 13 yo more often than I’d ever imagine. Is it an absolute necessity? No. But it makes our life more convenient. It was especially useful when he was home alone on Mondays this year when I was back at work or when his middle school ended at 2pm and he was home before me. Sure, we could call a landline. It’s all about convenience and I could quickly check texts during work meetings.

[Anonymous]

A phone in MS does become necessary for two reasons: their friends are all online (that's where their social life is for the most part) and they need a phone to contact you for rides home, etc. The latter came in awfully handy once they had activities going after school or on weekends. They are more on-the-go from MS onward and they need to be able to reach you, and you them.

[Anonymous]

We waited until 8th.

I hate, hate, hate the phones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have teens so I'm going to ask the dumb question but how often do older kids really need to reach their parents? Let's say practice gets out early, it seems like an 11-12 year old could wait at the field until the normally designated time. Probably a little boring but it doesn't seem like a big deal.

I text my 13 yo more often than I’d ever imagine. Is it an absolute necessity? No. But it makes our life more convenient. It was especially useful when he was home alone on Mondays this year when I was back at work or when his middle school ended at 2pm and he was home before me. Sure, we could call a landline. It’s all about convenience and I could quickly check texts during work meetings.

PP here and it seems like in both of those instances a messaging app on a tablet or ipod or whatever would work too. Just seems like a lot of extra expense to pay for another phone line when there are substitute options at lower cost.

I get the social point others have raised elsewhere in the thread and I can see that being a significant concern.

[Anonymous]

No not essential and truthfully causes more problems and headaches. Folks keep giving them to kids younger and younger. No 11 year old needs a smartphone.

It hasn't caused any problems or headaches. My child is 14 and has had a smartphone for three years now. No one has to get their kid one, of course, but we have had no incidents or regrets.