DH and I don’t see eye to eye on cost of baby items

[Anonymous]

I consider him cheap in many areas but it’s so frustrating with baby items! I’m due late June. He complains about every item I pick out (picked a $500 stroller/car seat set and he complained that he could get one for $100 from Walmart). He complains about the clothes I pick, saying we could just go to Walmart. Says the car seat bases are too expensive. Everything is “too expensive” to him. Anyone else BTDT? It’s not a big deal because I’m just grateful to be having a baby and am praying for a healthy delivery and baby, but geez, this man has something to say about every little item!

[Anonymous]

If you're picking $500 - $1,000 items for baby gear (knowing you'll only get limited time out of them) and your husband is asking you to shop at Walmart, you need to discuss finances.

[Anonymous]

He is right, you are wrong.
You won't use 90% of the crap you buy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is right, you are wrong.
You won't use 90% of the crap you buy.

Agreed. We bought a couple nice outfits but DS grew out of everything so quickly or stained it, we just kept with more inexpensive stuff. You don't need to buy poor quality everything, but it's silly to buy only expensive stuff.

[Anonymous]

I would have over 8K now, at least! if I did not go shopping mad for my first one!
And all he needed was a bunch of onesies, the baby carrier and diapers, apart from bottles and formula.
Sure, some more clothes, but we lived in a tropical climate then.
I got a all terrain huge stroller! I used it twice? If that many times.

[Anonymous]

Another one for DH team. What's wrong with Walmart? You think your baby will complain?

[Anonymous]

Can you justify why the $500 item is worth it? A SAH mom living in an urban area with no car needs a different stroller than a working mom who dirves most places. Someone with a small apartment needs a high chair that collapses easily. Someone else might only use that feature when entertaining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I consider him cheap in many areas but it’s so frustrating with baby items! I’m due late June. He complains about every item I pick out (picked a $500 stroller/car seat set and he complained that he could get one for $100 from Walmart). He complains about the clothes I pick, saying we could just go to Walmart. Says the car seat bases are too expensive. Everything is “too expensive” to him. Anyone else BTDT? It’s not a big deal because I’m just grateful to be having a baby and am praying for a healthy delivery and baby, but geez, this man has something to say about every little item!

Good luck saving for the future with that attitude. Spending a few hundred dollars is not "little item" for young couple.

[Anonymous]

For some of the things, they will only last a month (e.g. clothes). Not worth getting higher quality for most of those type of things.

For things like strollers and car seats, if you are placing on more kids soon or if you are a SAHM and will be on walks a lot etc. Spending a bit more may be worth it. I work full time but am a walker. I like to be out and about when not a work. So a quality stroller with good steering and easy handling made sense. But we also got that in a $300 stroller (and used it for b6 years between our two kids).

I think there may be some room for compromise between the two of you, assuming your budget allows for it.

[Anonymous]

Wait to get a nice stroller. The frame ones are perfect for right now. Snap and go.

[Anonymous]

I disagree with the other posters, OP. A good quality stroller is worth it. I LOVED my Stokke Xplory, and it worked for two babies until I passed it on to someone else. I have a similarly cheap DH, but he recognizes quality too, so each time he complained, I showed him exactly what features I found better than in other items. I wanted organic clothing, and was given everything the baby needed by family, clothing-wise. We went with a cheap crib for our first, that we replaced with the Stokke one.

You will not regret well-thought-out, quality purchases. That’s my point.

[Anonymous]

Or you could compromise. Just go on Facebook marketplace and get everything nearly new for half off.

I wouldn’t buy clothes for your first baby. Wait to see what you need. Everyone gives clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or you could compromise. Just go on Facebook marketplace and get everything nearly new for half off.

I wouldn’t buy clothes for your first baby. Wait to see what you need. Everyone gives clothes.

This. I agree a quality stroller is worth buying but get it 2nd hand. Most equipment can be picked up dirt cheap used. Great for things you are not sure you will use, e.g. a swing -- some babies hate them but for us it was a life saver. Or things only used for a short time - bouncy seats, clothes.

The only significant thing we bought new was an excellent car seat. And, my parents bought the crib.

[Anonymous]

That sucks, op. It’s a special time. You should be able to get what you want.

[Anonymous]

OP a lot of this depends on your financial situation. Is a $500 purchase a major item for you you discuss? How much do you typically spend on your clothes and no essentials? Most importantly are you saving or in debt?

If you are in debt that is hard to pay off or have financial concerns going forward ( is one of you quitting your job to take care of the baby, or have you not yet budgeted for childcare?) then you might need to more carefully consider what is reasonable to afford.

Otherwise I suggest that you consider a compromise. A good car seat is probably important and if you will be doing a lot of walking Or especially running on tough terrain you need a strong stroller. But you probably shouldn’t splurge on 20 newborn outfits the baby will wear once and every baby is so different you might wait to understand more about your needs. And a lovely nursery can be done on not too much.

Good luck OP. I think a heart to heart with your DH to find the compromise that matches your finances is in order. Good luck.