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Also, the "weed jokes"--Jen was married to someone with substance issues, Glennon is a recovering addict as is her wife. But "cool girls" can joke about weed?
Thoughts? |
This made lol |
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Glennon couldn't hide her crazy as well as Jen. I was a Jen fan back in the day, all the way to the Modern Girls Bible studies, from which she now distances herself. Jen had a warmth and humor that was self-deprecating and relatable. Glennon has been more pointedly narcissistic from the get-go.
But now, with folks who were close to Jen as her fame grew, we see she was kind of nutty way back in the day, too. |
Oh my gosh- this would be a good premise for a mystery, actually. Not what happened to Diane's character- but have a popular, midlife crisis-ing influencer go missing on one of her customized, yearly, publicized retreats. |
Influencer and book club curator Jane Capstitcher was at a crossroads: her two-year very public relationship with small-time actor Trevor Barrett had just been exposed as a publicity stunt. Her daughter Romy had recently moved in with Jane's wanna-be biker ex-husband, Landon, and his wife Trina, and her most recent self-help book, Darlings, I See You, was a colossal flop. On her annual "me trip" to Whitesville Vermont, Jane decided to check out a charming local bar and drown her sorrows in onion petals and sauvignon blanc while perusing the latest hot summer novel. "Some quaint soul will surely ask me why I'm eating alone or what I'm reading," thought Jane, as she adjusted her statement ring and touched her coarse, bright-yellow hair for the sixty-seventh time. The last person who remembers seeing Jane was a folksy local named Kevin. He noticed Jane sitting alone and was drawn to her glowing red complexion. He told authorities that he'd been about to approach her when she got up to go to the ladies' room, muttering something about how archaic Whitesville was for still having gendered bathrooms. No one has seen Jane Capsticher since. Is it foul play, an attention-getting scheme, or simply hijinks and shenanigans? All the answers lie in "Vanished, Darlings" published by Simon and Schyster in Spring 2025. |
| I'm pre-ordering this lol. |
Can we crowd source this? I would contribute! Also, I think Trevor did it….. |
| I am here for the Jane Capstitcher novel! But I think Trina has something to do with her mysterious disappearance. |
I now think we are living in a simulation. Hoo boy, that is so spot on! |
The best part will be when the detective on the case realizes they can’t use Jane’s social media as evidence because IT’S ALL LIES. Lol. |
I am dying!!! Invisibly, this writing here is WAAAAY better and more boring and “real” than anything she’s has written. |
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Terrible auto m-correct.
…better and more biting and… |
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And not invisibly. Should read “ironically”.
Good lord… |
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Jane Catstitcher!!!!
We have a new nickname!!!! |
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Jane Catstitcher texted her ride or dies before they all arrived to Whitesville in their Uber.
“Okay, when you get out start screaming and making We’re Here!!!! faces. I’ll be waiting for you with my iPhone to capture the moment. We’ll reenact the shot later on with the matching sweaters. This years especially sassy.” “Okay, Jane, on it!” 2nd in Command Showna texted back. As the ride or dies made the last mile in the Uber Showna summoned some measure of enthusiasm for the rendezvous. “Okay guys, Jane is expecting the works today, okay. Game faces on.” |