Jen Hatmaker

[Anonymous]

“Yeah, Jen needs a boost after Darlings, I Hear You wasn’t picked up after the failure of Darlings, I See You. She really needs this Me Trip to be Hallmark Worthy.”

[Anonymous]

Remember Jane’s magical Moonlight Kiss from her first Me Trip? Do you think now that Trevor isn’t in the picture anymore we could all help her have another magical moonlight kiss? That’ll cheer her up. Trevor was never one for public PDA and we could never get him to kiss Jane. Wasn’t that sort of weird?”

[Anonymous]

I'll totally read that book and props to whoever you are for being clever enough to put that together.

[Anonymous]

Lol, I don't think Trina would care about Jane enough to take her out. Or even at all. Trina seems to be pretty even keel and secure, and I wasn't expecting that at all from someone who looks like such a barbie/cheerleader. My initial thought was to write her off as a good rebound. But Landon seems to be making it work with her, so we'll see.

[Anonymous]

Jane Capstitcher!!! ((Snorts))

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remember Jane’s magical Moonlight Kiss from her first Me Trip? Do you think now that Trevor isn’t in the picture anymore we could all help her have another magical moonlight kiss? That’ll cheer her up. Trevor was never one for public PDA and we could never get him to kiss Jane. Wasn’t that sort of weird?”

Omg yes! The moonlight kiss from the first MeCamp, I totally forgot about that. It sounded so fake and made up.

Did that really happen??

[Anonymous]

Maybe Vanished Darlings should have an uplifting, happy ending. I am a snarker but I have a kind heart and I'm a sucker for a nice, tied up with a ribbon - ethically sourced gift wrapping materials, though, darlings! - so perhaps one of the detectives on the case could be her person.

I'm thinking someone with the Jimmy Smits in SOA vibe. Maybe he could be a consulting detective from Hays County brought in when the bumbling, keystone cops that is Whitesville PD can't make sense of the "Case of the Year." Said detective is pissed that he has to deal with this "local Buda celebrity BS" but finds himself intrigued for some reason - I'll have to really noodle how this happens because right now Jane Capstitcher is really not very intriguing. He's hot, divorced, a dad, and more geographically desirable than Trevor. And, although he's a casual kind of guy, his wardrobe contains not one, but four shirts with - wait for it - actual buttons.

For now, let's call him Jason Ayala but I think we need something with more spice and sizzle in it because, after all, Jane is, among many other things, a spicy sexpert and unafraid to get super real with all the details. Jason will ultimately see something in Jane is likes - I mean, it could be just being alone too long and wanting regular s-e-x and someone to cook an occasional meal for him, and seeing the fact that she's a COOKBOOK AUTHOR makes Jason think "Why the hell not? How bad could a grilled cheese with potato chips really be?"

Jason doesn't put up with much of Jane's shit and since he is certifiably hotter and looks better shirtless than Landon, Jane makes the decision to stop dipping her head in bleach on the regular. But she still has to shill the FOCL + Able and whatever else comes along because alas, Jason Ayala, hot as he is, is on a public servant's salary.

Man, I really have too much time on my hands.

[Anonymous]

Please write this so I can buy it and read it!

[Anonymous]

Feeling a bit blue despite the loud, rumpus hijinks of her ride or dies (that the locals of Whitesville like are thoroughly charmed by) Jane spends and idle moment doomscrolling her socials.

Hate her.

Hate her.

REALlY hate her.

Then her phone pings. Trevor! She hits the alert and sees his comment!

“Dope.”

Her heart leaps! It was a comment made on a thread she posted the week before about how dear and precious it was be be in this “current conservation” about the new thing.

He saw it, read it, and said “Dope”.

What a guy.

[Anonymous]

I call bullshit on all of Kevin’s stories.

[Anonymous]

Guess "Dope" really isn't coming to Me Camp after all. I figured he'd make a surprise appearance, but evidently not. I wonder if they've "broken up". (Quotes, because it wasn't legit if you weren't actually together in the first place.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Does Jen “read a book” at every MeCamp bar? Is she cosplaying Diane Keaton in Looking for Mr Goodbar?


This made lol

Oh my gosh- this would be a good premise for a mystery, actually. Not what happened to Diane's character- but have a popular, midlife crisis-ing influencer go missing on one of her customized, yearly, publicized retreats.

Influencer and book club curator Jane Capstitcher was at a crossroads: her two-year very public relationship with small-time actor Trevor Barrett had just been exposed as a publicity stunt. Her daughter Romy had recently moved in with Jane's wanna-be biker ex-husband, Landon, and his wife Trina, and her most recent self-help book, Darlings, I See You, was a colossal flop. On her annual "me trip" to Whitesville Vermont, Jane decided to check out a charming local bar and drown her sorrows in onion petals and sauvignon blanc while perusing the latest hot summer novel.

"Some quaint soul will surely ask me why I'm eating alone or what I'm reading," thought Jane, as she adjusted her statement ring and touched her coarse, bright-yellow hair for the sixty-seventh time.

The last person who remembers seeing Jane was a folksy local named Kevin. He noticed Jane sitting alone and was drawn to her glowing red complexion. He told authorities that he'd been about to approach her when she got up to go to the ladies' room, muttering something about how archaic Whitesville was for still having gendered bathrooms.

No one has seen Jane Capsticher since. Is it foul play, an attention-getting scheme, or simply hijinks and shenanigans?

All the answers lie in "Vanished, Darlings" published by Simon and Schyster in Spring 2025.

Simon and Schyster. 🤣🤣🤣

[Anonymous]

Yes! Let’s write Jane Capstitcher the happy ending Trevor never could give!

[Anonymous]

Okay but there has to be a dark past in the life of Hot Divorced Detective in order for him to be attracted to Jane’s bad mojo.

I believe, in a shocking twist of fate, it involves Trina.

[Anonymous]

Kevin is the resident teller of tales, for sure.

The moonlit Maine kiss!! And then some poor random cute guy in a selfie with her was thought to be “the one” and Jen had to explain that he had a girlfriend so I think her moonlit kiss was actually named George Glass