Woman says accepting her husband's desire to divorce 'with diginity' leads to domestic violence

[Anonymous]

Wife posts complains on Instagram that husband slammed her with surprise divorce and here's what she thinks about it. What do you all think? Should women be quiet about how they feel when a spouse files for a surprise divorce? Be dignified?

Her instagram post:
'I know he’ll be angry. (he is always angry - he was born angry) But, you see, I think this whole idea of keeping your private lives private is... well. What leads to child abuse. And domestic violence.

'And mental abuse. I couldn’t believe how many people told me to accept it ‘with dignity’. What is dignity? I think "dignity is a way of covering up our own hurt. I think dignity is a way of others telling us to shut up, because THEY don’t want to think about our hurt.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CL9B5-4FjHS/

[Anonymous]

She is posting up and down about how this was a surprise, he has another woman, he's a charmer, she's hurt. I mean...does blasting get him to come back to you?

[Anonymous]

She was blindsided. Two young girls and married 20-years. He gave her no reason. Just said he’s leaving.

That could make you lose your mind.

I’m not a social media person and private, but everyone deals with it differently. I’m not justifying it, but temporary insanity in these circumstances happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is posting up and down about how this was a surprise, he has another woman, he's a charmer, she's hurt. I mean...does blasting get him to come back to you?

Nah. But it feels good.

She’s pretty.

[Anonymous]

She first found out about it in the newspaper.

He didn’t even have the balls to tell her first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She was blindsided. Two young girls and married 20-years. He gave her no reason. Just said he’s leaving.

That could make you lose your mind.

I’m not a social media person and private, but everyone deals with it differently. I’m not justifying it, but temporary insanity in these circumstances happens.

Shouldn't being a better mother triumph over 'temporary insanity' - she posted about confronting her 7-year-old with the news that he left on the same day. No gentle talks, no giving it a moment, no therapy sessions on how to cope before the news is broken. That's not being a good parent.

[Anonymous]

Women take it and suffer in silence. They don’t mention infidelity to protect the kids. It’s not even in divorce e decrees anymore. Then society always judges the wife—-he was such a nice guy she must not have f@cked him or she must have been a b@tch at home. That’s just how men are,,,,blah blah blah.

It’s refreshing to see someone speak out. But, of course, she’s put down for airing laundry. Let Romeo be a cad and shut up little lady.

You go, Alice. Do what you need to do.

[Anonymous]

She didn't say accepting a divorce with dignity leads to domestic violence. She said a focus on privacy in our society leads to domestic violence and child abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was blindsided. Two young girls and married 20-years. He gave her no reason. Just said he’s leaving.

That could make you lose your mind.

I’m not a social media person and private, but everyone deals with it differently. I’m not justifying it, but temporary insanity in these circumstances happens.

Shouldn't being a better mother triumph over 'temporary insanity' - she posted about confronting her 7-year-old with the news that he left on the same day. No gentle talks, no giving it a moment, no therapy sessions on how to cope before the news is broken. That's not being a good parent.

Daddy wasn’t a good parent.

He did not even tell Mommy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She didn't say accepting a divorce with dignity leads to domestic violence. She said a focus on privacy in our society leads to domestic violence and child abuse.

It leads to emotional abuse. Keeping silent and suffering and the abuser counting on you never telling anyone. That’s emotional abuse. The gaslighting and the lies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was blindsided. Two young girls and married 20-years. He gave her no reason. Just said he’s leaving.

That could make you lose your mind.

I’m not a social media person and private, but everyone deals with it differently. I’m not justifying it, but temporary insanity in these circumstances happens.

Shouldn't being a better mother triumph over 'temporary insanity' - she posted about confronting her 7-year-old with the news that he left on the same day. No gentle talks, no giving it a moment, no therapy sessions on how to cope before the news is broken. That's not being a good parent.

Daddy wasn’t a good parent.

He did not even tell Mommy.

If he had told mommy I guarantee she would have demanded couple's counseling and individual counseling and family therapy. To drag it out 6-12 months. Sometimes you just need a clean break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She didn't say accepting a divorce with dignity leads to domestic violence. She said a focus on privacy in our society leads to domestic violence and child abuse.

It leads to emotional abuse. Keeping silent and suffering and the abuser counting on you never telling anyone. That’s emotional abuse. The gaslighting and the lies.

Okay I agree silence can lead to abuse - because you internalize problems in your marriage and don't speak out. But how does screaming about a former spouse after they've already left help matters? He's not abusing her - he left her. That's not a crime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She didn't say accepting a divorce with dignity leads to domestic violence. She said a focus on privacy in our society leads to domestic violence and child abuse.

+1. The emphasis on not airing your family’s dirty laundry creates a culture of silence that enables abuse. If people talked more openly about this stuff and there wasn’t so much judgment around it, it wouldn’t be able to happen as much as it does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was blindsided. Two young girls and married 20-years. He gave her no reason. Just said he’s leaving.

That could make you lose your mind.

I’m not a social media person and private, but everyone deals with it differently. I’m not justifying it, but temporary insanity in these circumstances happens.

Shouldn't being a better mother triumph over 'temporary insanity' - she posted about confronting her 7-year-old with the news that he left on the same day. No gentle talks, no giving it a moment, no therapy sessions on how to cope before the news is broken. That's not being a good parent.

Daddy wasn’t a good parent.

He did not even tell Mommy.

If he had told mommy I guarantee she would have demanded couple's counseling and individual counseling and family therapy. To drag it out 6-12 months. Sometimes you just need a clean break.

Communication. Real winner there. What a coward to run after 20-years. Not a man.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately, when women do this, it never ends well for them. Been there.

I said nothing about my abusive xH because I wanted to me "dignified". He started a huge smear campaign on me, and because he's so charming and loved, it worked. When I started telling my side of the story - and the abuse that had gone on for years - I became the bad guy. It just re-affirmed to everyone that I was the problem.

But in general, yea, I definitely support women exposing abuse.