Is it overstepping to ask family members to help move?

[Anonymous]

It would be a local move.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the work involved.

I foolishly allowed DH to handle our local move. He refused to hire movers, and asked his friend to help us. The move took several days, his friend wasn't happy, and it was so hard to pack with a baby and preschooler. I swore to get movers next time, and not burden friends/relatives again.

[Anonymous]

I’m okay with asking my own family for help with things like this. Dhs friends even ask stuff like this and will throw in a text about beer and pizza too. If your dh can ask his family then it’s okay, but I wouldn’t be able to ask in-laws for help.

[Anonymous]

How old are you? Can you afford to hire movers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m okay with asking my own family for help with things like this. Dhs friends even ask stuff like this and will throw in a text about beer and pizza too. If your dh can ask his family then it’s okay, but I wouldn’t be able to ask in-laws for help.

This works until about age 25, then it’s time to hire professional movers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? Can you afford to hire movers?

We’re middle-aged and can afford to pay movers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m okay with asking my own family for help with things like this. Dhs friends even ask stuff like this and will throw in a text about beer and pizza too. If your dh can ask his family then it’s okay, but I wouldn’t be able to ask in-laws for help.

This works until about age 25, then it’s time to hire professional movers.

Even with movers you often still need help- packing, babysitting and moving smaller things. I had movers for big furniture and boxes but so much still needed done. Like my fancy dishes and inherited pieces rode in my car.

My parents are in their 60s and definitely plan on just using us to move (mostly dh!). They can afford movers and we’re pretty well off too.

[Anonymous]

Um....no!!! Between the ages of 22-30, you might be able to bribe friends with beer and pizza to help nut don't expect it. After the age of 30, you are an adult and you handle the move yourself or hire movers. Don't put friends or family in the awkward position of having to say no.

Moving sucks! No one enjoys it. I have moved so many times in my life that I basically refuse to ever do it again unless I'm helping my own kid when they are in college.

[Anonymous]

I am from another country so maybe it’s cultural but it’s almost a given that friends offer their help with moving.
Asking is also ok but you are supposed to offer and not wait to be asked.
In fact, I was in shock when two people whom I considered friends didn’t offer, though they knew I was a single mom. I ended up asking my ex for some help and he helped but it was so stressful. I let him go early and just hired a service.
I still can’t get over the two friends not offering. But at least I know where we stand in terms of friendship now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? Can you afford to hire movers?

We’re middle-aged and can afford to pay movers.

OP, if this is you, then please hire movers. Maybe ask family to help you move your goldfish or something easy on moving day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? Can you afford to hire movers?

We’re middle-aged and can afford to pay movers.

Oh then for sure rude.

If you were 22 and/or broke, it’d be different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? Can you afford to hire movers?

We’re middle-aged and can afford to pay movers.

Then hell no you mooches. I would laugh if some 40ish year old family member asked me to help them move if they were financially comfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am from another country so maybe it’s cultural but it’s almost a given that friends offer their help with moving.
Asking is also ok but you are supposed to offer and not wait to be asked.
In fact, I was in shock when two people whom I considered friends didn’t offer, though they knew I was a single mom. I ended up asking my ex for some help and he helped but it was so stressful. I let him go early and just hired a service.
I still can’t get over the two friends not offering. But at least I know where we stand in terms of friendship now

Do your friends share your culture? I would NEVER ask my good friends to help with a move. I would do all kinds of favors for them but if he astonished if one of them asked me to help with a move. We were over that stage of our lives by 30. Unless you are destitute, it’s just not a normal thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even with movers you often still need help- packing, babysitting and moving smaller things. I had movers for big furniture and boxes but so much still needed done. Like my fancy dishes and inherited pieces rode in my car.

My parents are in their 60s and definitely plan on just using us to move (mostly dh!). They can afford movers and we’re pretty well off too.

+1

[Anonymous]

The last time I did this was when I was moving away after grad school. We are no longer spring chickens. I would never ask family or friends to help us move now. What if someone dropped something on themselves or threw out their back?
Moving companies exist for a reason.