Is it overstepping to ask family members to help move?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm of the "it's ok to ask" but don't be bothered or offended if someone says "no" camp on this one.

If you can afford it is totally not OK to ask. It's taking advantage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It would be a local move.

Yes. Just hire movers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m okay with asking my own family for help with things like this. Dhs friends even ask stuff like this and will throw in a text about beer and pizza too. If your dh can ask his family then it’s okay, but I wouldn’t be able to ask in-laws for help.

This works until about age 25, then it’s time to hire professional movers.

this. If you are going it’s ok to ask in return for beer and pizza. If you are older and have more stuff/people have kids and their own lives, then no it’s not ok.

[Anonymous]

Young, not going

[Anonymous]

If you can afford movers, hire movers.

No one wants to help you move, especially if you are past your early 20's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still can’t get over the two friends not offering. But at least I know where we stand in terms of friendship now

Probably for the best then, because would guess the friend would be shocked you even for a minute thought that she/he should help you move and that not offering is not being a true friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm of the "it's ok to ask" but don't be bothered or offended if someone says "no" camp on this one.

And also don't be surprised if a friend helps, but then stops being around as much to not have you ask the next time!

[Anonymous]

What are you offering these family members in return for their help?

Are you offering them cash/money? Free food? Very generous gift cards to a store they actually shop at ($200 plus at minimum)? You need to put some skin the game and offer them something in compensation. Oh, and thank them profusely for their free labor. Send a follow-up, hand-written thank you card to everyone who helped. No, really. Moving stuff is damn hard work!

Yes, they're family but they are unpaid labor risking serious injury to help you move. They could easily end up with a pulled lower-back muscle that never truly heals.

Just hire a mover. It's worth the cost in family harmony.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um....no!!! Between the ages of 22-30, you might be able to bribe friends with beer and pizza to help nut don't expect it. After the age of 30, you are an adult and you handle the move yourself or hire movers. Don't put friends or family in the awkward position of having to say no.

Moving sucks! No one enjoys it. I have moved so many times in my life that I basically refuse to ever do it again unless I'm helping my own kid when they are in college.

All of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am from another country so maybe it’s cultural but it’s almost a given that friends offer their help with moving.
Asking is also ok but you are supposed to offer and not wait to be asked.
In fact, I was in shock when two people whom I considered friends didn’t offer, though they knew I was a single mom. I ended up asking my ex for some help and he helped but it was so stressful. I let him go early and just hired a service.
I still can’t get over the two friends not offering. But at least I know where we stand in terms of friendship now

What culture is this? I cannot imagine an entire culture takes advantage of people this way. I am assuming this is your family culture and not your ethnic culture. You sound really self-absorbed and you should not use your culture as an excuse for this.

#whiteprivilege

Uh no, not white privilege, just total privilege in general to ask people you are about to risk serious injury to help you. Even worse, to expect them to help you.

#entitled #spoiled #rude

[Anonymous]

Sorry...you CARE about not are about

[Anonymous]

NO
Maybe for a carload of previous items like Chiba, artwork, etc
Babysit the kids for a few hours.
Otherwise, grown ass people who are not broke should hire movers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? Can you afford to hire movers?

We’re middle-aged and can afford to pay movers.

You can maybe ask family to watch your kids for an afternoon while you unpack breakables, the kids rooms, or get the bulk of unpacking done. But I agree that after about age 25, you need to hire movers and handle it yourself.

[Anonymous]

People in their early 20’s help their friends because they know that their friends would help them out, too. It’s a two way, reciprocal street. By the time you reach middle age your friends and many family members are middle or old age so it’s harder to have that reciprocal relationship as furniture movers. Most people pay at that point or pare down and move what they can themselves

[Anonymous]

It would be fine in my family but I know some families where it would be a bad idea. It just depends on the relationships involved. The other part is that there are some people in my family who I wouldn't want to help us move because it would be too hard for them or it would slow down the whole process.