Question for people who actually know cheating couples

[Anonymous]

This thread, like the others, will probably devolve into bitter wives slinging over-the-top insults at all OW writ large, but I'm curious...

The old trope that men affair down, does it actually bear out among the cheaters you know?

It's repeated so often, I used to accept that fact, but when I actually think about the cheating men I personally know, their wives are overweight and haggard and the OW are all more attractive, if only because they're more sexual. As in, since they are still interested in sex, they put more effort into their appearance.

I know we'll hear about the 50-year-old Ashley Madison woman and the ugly redhead that looks like a witch (stop already), but in my experience the OW are all lightyears more attractive than the wives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread, like the others, will probably devolve into bitter wives slinging over-the-top insults at all OW writ large, but I'm curious...

The old trope that men affair down, does it actually bear out among the cheaters you know?

It's repeated so often, I used to accept that fact, but when I actually think about the cheating men I personally know, their wives are overweight and haggard and the OW are all more attractive, if only because they're more sexual. As in, since they are still interested in sex, they put more effort into their appearance.

I know we'll hear about the 50-year-old Ashley Madison woman and the ugly redhead that looks like a witch (stop already), but in my experience the OW are all lightyears more attractive than the wives.

So you know a lot of cheaters? Congratulations.

[Anonymous]

There is every kind of pairing under the sun, OP. Some people's personal anecdotes will vary with their professional environment, if that environment is conducive to a particular kind of cheating. But really, there's EVERYTHING out there. People don't just cheat with persons who are more attractive than their spouses; they cheat with who's available, they cheat for emotional support, etc. It doesn't have to be all about beauty.

[Anonymous]

My friend had a hot wife and hot OW.

[Anonymous]

No. The only people I know cheating are men in the medical field. Typical tale as old as time. 40-50 something surgeon/Dr becomes smitten with 20-30 something cute nurse/PA. Starts affair, leaves wife and starts family #2. The women are much younger than wife, single, very pretty and usually transition to SAHM.

I don’t know any cheating married women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. The only people I know cheating are men in the medical field. Typical tale as old as time. 40-50 something surgeon/Dr becomes smitten with 20-30 something cute nurse/PA. Starts affair, leaves wife and starts family #2. The women are much younger than wife, single, very pretty and usually transition to SAHM.

I don’t know any cheating married women.

1. They're much busier and may not have time for cheating.
2. If they do, they're obviously more competent at it.

[Anonymous]

The ones who come out publicly, i.e. leave their wives usually affair up. The ones you don't see affair down.

[Anonymous]

My gorgeous friend used to be the OW. She was mid 20s he was big law. I don't know what his wife looked like but she did and still looks like she walked out of a magazine shoot. He bought her a house.

[Anonymous]

The only person who sounds bitter and angry is OP.

[Anonymous]

I was a hot wife, remain a hot divorcee, am everyone’s hot ex, and if I was an betrayed partner and defiled as an unknowing OW by a lying beGilesnake is going to reap the deceit he frolicked in and hissed about in his hole. He he will WISH he had feet to help slow the slither that awaits such an unrepentant, proud, deceiving, ignorant, trifeling serpent that will always be under my feet.


Assuming he didn’t like about his faith too, 5 min of YouTube church ain’t enough to truly feed you with what you need to shed that skin. It is in God’s hands.

I don’t know any cheaters. If I know them I’m not aware that they’re cheating. The cheaters I knew before are dead to me now.

[Anonymous]

I work in investment banking where a lot of people have affairs. It is always with someone much better looking than the wife. Often younger as well (for the men) of course but not necessarily so. Usually better educated as well although the 50 year old man with the 20 year old PA still occurs.

The ones that have the much younger AP seem to pick one that looks a lot like the wife but much younger. For some reason I find those ones more depressing than the ones that are with someone the same age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is every kind of pairing under the sun, OP. Some people's personal anecdotes will vary with their professional environment, if that environment is conducive to a particular kind of cheating. But really, there's EVERYTHING out there. People don't just cheat with persons who are more attractive than their spouses; they cheat with who's available, they cheat for emotional support, etc. It doesn't have to be all about beauty.

This is is in a nutshell

An affair fills some kind of need, and that need isn’t always sex, although the affair itself may lead to sex. I think the hard part is when people think they can affair proof their marriage by staying hit and giving sex,- companionship is sometimes the goal, or something else entirely. It’s not so clear cut. “They wanted something hot to f*ck” isn’t always the reason.

[Anonymous]

My H’s BFF cheated on a hit, smart, successful woman and his new wife is full on bat shit crazy, uneducated, and she is fine looks wise.

My neighbor cheated up, if a hit mail order bride who never worked more that a waitress job is up, but looks wise up. His wife is an executive for a large hotel chain, educated wonderful and greet mom.

My BFF coworker cheated on his wife with someone who left him for a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a hot wife, remain a hot divorcee, am everyone’s hot ex, and if I was an betrayed partner and defiled as an unknowing OW by a lying beGilesnake is going to reap the deceit he frolicked in and hissed about in his hole. He he will WISH he had feet to help slow the slither that awaits such an unrepentant, proud, deceiving, ignorant, trifeling serpent that will always be under my feet.


Assuming he didn’t like about his faith too, 5 min of YouTube church ain’t enough to truly feed you with what you need to shed that skin. It is in God’s hands.

I don’t know any cheaters. If I know them I’m not aware that they’re cheating. The cheaters I knew before are dead to me now.

I deeply want to understand this but enjoyed it, Jabberwocky-style, nonetheless.

[Anonymous]

Yes. But I’m late 40s and in my world it’s two middle-aged married people. The wife is usually much hotter. I think they are classic midlife crap. The dude is usually alpha, and the OW’s husband beta.