Will not having kids keep me physically younger?

[Anonymous]

For reasons I don't want to get into, having children looks more and more not in the cards for me. Is there possibly a physical silver lining to that?

I'm in great shape as it is, a size 2, and my body is as firm and tight well into my 30s as it was ten years ago... maybe even better, since I don't drink as much as I used to. Will my not having been pregnant/given birth delay the weight gain and bodily changes that come as women get into their late 30s and 40s?

I'm not seeking validation for choosing body over kids. Only looking for silver lining in an otherwise disappointing situation. The other upsides of course are more time to engage in competitive athletics and travel and hardcore outdoor activity, but I'm wondering if forgoing the physical stress of children will enable me to maintain a physical peak for longer. For what it's worth, the other childless women I know of various ages seem pretty trim.

[Anonymous]

It might keep your breasts perkier, but there are studies that have shown that biological motherhood also has health benefits for women.

[Anonymous]

OP: If you are disappointed about not having children, I don't think this is the proper validation. Many of us mothers are in superior physcial shape shortly after having children and still decades later. And I don't want to sow further concern for you but in fact, there are many reasons that having children actually benefits women from a health standpoint, mostly because of hormonal changes. The exposure to higher levels of estrogen for a period of time offer greater protection from ovarian cancer, breast cancer, and heart disease. My identical twin, who was never pregnant, died from a rare type of uterine cancer, which, according to her specialists, almost never afflicts women who have been pregnant. I know you're looking for ways to be happier about not having children, but I don't think you should look to physical advantage. If it's any consolation, I am the mother of two teenagers right now, and I love them with all my heart, but it's a nightmare. I do think the mental toll is pretty serious.

[Anonymous]

I've never been pregnant and I was horrified to find that stress incontinence comes with regular old aging.

[Anonymous]

One piece is birthing and (maybe) breastfeeding kids. The other is the wear and toll that childrearing can have. A decade of sleep deprivation, deferred self-care, diminished finances and all the stresses that children bring will have their effects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: If you are disappointed about not having children, I don't think this is the proper validation. Many of us mothers are in superior physcial shape shortly after having children and still decades later. And I don't want to sow further concern for you but in fact, there are many reasons that having children actually benefits women from a health standpoint, mostly because of hormonal changes. The exposure to higher levels of estrogen for a period of time offer greater protection from ovarian cancer, breast cancer, and heart disease. My identical twin, who was never pregnant, died from a rare type of uterine cancer, which, according to her specialists, almost never afflicts women who have been pregnant. I know you're looking for ways to be happier about not having children, but I don't think you should look to physical advantage. If it's any consolation, I am the mother of two teenagers right now, and I love them with all my heart, but it's a nightmare. I do think the mental toll is pretty serious.

Jeez. She wants to feel better about not having kids. I think the answer is yes, you will look better if you don’t have kids but ONLY if you work at it.

[Anonymous]

You won't have to cope with the stress and worry many parents experience. You'll be able to continue to do what you want, when you want, especially travel and vacations. These things alone will spare you worry lines and eye bags.

[Anonymous]

Well your pelvic floor is probably in better shape than mine!

[Anonymous]

Being happy and having loving relationships will keep you looking good better than anything.

[Anonymous]

It’s not that you will automatically be healthier by not having children, it’s that you have more resources to keep yourself healthy by not having children.

I will have to echo the PP who noted that there might be biological disadvantages to not having children. Also, while I don’t want to probe if you don’t want to get into it, if infertility is the cause (versus situational, being single) there might be other underlying health issues.

But your advantages are with time and money, which enable you to put in the work to keep yourself in better shape. Also mental health is important. You might not endure as much stress, but it’s important to share your life with someone who gives you love and companionship. Whether it be a partner, a sibling, a best friend, or a dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not that you will automatically be healthier by not having children, it’s that you have more resources to keep yourself healthy by not having children.

I will have to echo the PP who noted that there might be biological disadvantages to not having children. Also, while I don’t want to probe if you don’t want to get into it, if infertility is the cause (versus situational, being single) there might be other underlying health issues.

But your advantages are with time and money, which enable you to put in the work to keep yourself in better shape. Also mental health is important. You might not endure as much stress, but it’s important to share your life with someone who gives you love and companionship. Whether it be a partner, a sibling, a best friend, or a dog.

This. You’ll also more likely be much better rested than parents, which matters for overall health.

[Anonymous]

Look into the trauma childbirth does on women. It's horrifying and no one talks about it.

[Anonymous]

I am in better shape at 39 with a kid than I ever looked in my 20s/early 30s.

That's because back then I used to smoke and drink and eat out all the time. I worked out then too but I was basically only offsetting all the crap I was putting in my body so while I wasn't fat, I didn't look fit and toned.

Since having a child, I no longer smoke, only drink occasionally. And now with working remote during pandemic I've been able to work out more and also make better food choices. I've finally been able to reach a comfortable place weight wise and look & feel better than ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One piece is birthing and (maybe) breastfeeding kids. The other is the wear and toll that childrearing can have. A decade of sleep deprivation, deferred self-care, diminished finances and all the stresses that children bring will have their effects.

Yes, I look 10 years older than my close childfree friend. (Similar background/skin/etc).

I attribute 99% of it to sleep deprivation.

[Anonymous]

In general yes. You will find women here desperately trying to believe otherwise, but in general the answer is yes. There are a few protective benefits of childbearing but they are outweighed by the harm.