Will not having kids keep me physically younger?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look into the trauma childbirth does on women. It's horrifying and no one talks about it.

Like what?

My friend’s anus tore into her vagina somehow. It was like one hole down there.

Yes, this. split in half down there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: If you are disappointed about not having children, I don't think this is the proper validation. Many of us mothers are in superior physcial shape shortly after having children and still decades later. And I don't want to sow further concern for you but in fact, there are many reasons that having children actually benefits women from a health standpoint, mostly because of hormonal changes. The exposure to higher levels of estrogen for a period of time offer greater protection from ovarian cancer, breast cancer, and heart disease. My identical twin, who was never pregnant, died from a rare type of uterine cancer, which, according to her specialists, almost never afflicts women who have been pregnant. I know you're looking for ways to be happier about not having children, but I don't think you should look to physical advantage. If it's any consolation, I am the mother of two teenagers right now, and I love them with all my heart, but it's a nightmare. I do think the mental toll is pretty serious.

Seriously ridiculous. If having children is supposed to be protective, then why is that all the women I know who have cancer also mothers?

[Anonymous]

Probably. But my daughter is the love of my life. So there’s that.

[Anonymous]

I am childless and 45.

Moms always act like having kids ruins their bodies and I’m sure it does to some extent, but a ton of moms have great bodies. And I swear I think having kids might actually be good for muscle tone in your arms.

So no not really. Eventually, all of our bodies are going to age despite whether or not we have kids. I’m guessing those of us who don’t have kids might have better pelvic floors though and less trouble in that department?

[Anonymous]

I think so. Biological changes happen after children that you can't reverse. Besides potential trauma to your vaginal region or your and with a C section, hips widen, your breasts and nipples look different, etc.

But I think it's mostly the change in lifestyle that causes post pregnancy diminished looks. Sleep is a huge factor, plus stress, less money, less time to yourself...

I know everyone says they look better than ever but that's easy to claim on an anonymous board. Just think about the women you've known in real life- imo, children do a number on most women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One piece is birthing and (maybe) breastfeeding kids. The other is the wear and toll that childrearing can have. A decade of sleep deprivation, deferred self-care, diminished finances and all the stresses that children bring will have their effects.

Yes, I look 10 years older than my close childfree friend. (Similar background/skin/etc).

I attribute 99% of it to sleep deprivation.

Same. I am an active mom and I am physically in better shape than in my 20s because I care more fitness instead of just being thin, but my face took a big punch when I got my kids and my body would be looking way better if I just had the same epiphany but without the kids.

My Childless friends look a solid 5 years younger than me and I think I fare well. I blame 100% of it on sleep deprivation / exhaustion.

In terms of post baby body, not face. I was lucky, body was not destroyed, but a couple friends gained 50 pounds and really disliked what it did to their body (belly, breasts in particular). Can be corrected but you change. We all grew a bit wider too (thoracic cage opened more, with my best friends we all noted our bra size changed but not only the cup). Finally there is the nether region. People should take more about it. It stays more open.. it definitely changed and not for the better

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One piece is birthing and (maybe) breastfeeding kids. The other is the wear and toll that childrearing can have. A decade of sleep deprivation, deferred self-care, diminished finances and all the stresses that children bring will have their effects.

Yes, I look 10 years older than my close childfree friend. (Similar background/skin/etc).

I attribute 99% of it to sleep deprivation.

Same. I am an active mom and I am physically in better shape than in my 20s because I care more fitness instead of just being thin, but my face took a big punch when I got my kids and my body would be looking way better if I just had the same epiphany but without the kids.

My Childless friends look a solid 5 years younger than me and I think I fare well. I blame 100% of it on sleep deprivation / exhaustion.

In terms of post baby body, not face. I was lucky, body was not destroyed, but a couple friends gained 50 pounds and really disliked what it did to their body (belly, breasts in particular). Can be corrected but you change. We all grew a bit wider too (thoracic cage opened more, with my best friends we all noted our bra size changed but not only the cup). Finally there is the nether region. People should take more about it. It stays more open.. it definitely changed and not for the better

All that being said: I make the comments above to feed OP’s silver lining question. It is all true. But it would not be reasons for me not to have kids, I couldn’t care less compared to how certain I am of my choice. But if you cannot have kids, you can certainly rejoice in the fact that your body (and maybe even more : your face) won’t have to deal with a big stress. It won’t give you an edge vis a vis diseases like cancer, but it will help you look and feel younger

[Anonymous]

Not necessarily. I didn't give birth and was that size. 40's hit me hard with weight gain and other issues.

[Anonymous]

Your post is implying moms look like crap, which I don’t think is generating too many sympathetic responses.

Of course there are pros and cons to both lifestyles. Anyone who says differently is in denial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One piece is birthing and (maybe) breastfeeding kids. The other is the wear and toll that childrearing can have. A decade of sleep deprivation, deferred self-care, diminished finances and all the stresses that children bring will have their effects.

A decade? You are doing things wrong if it took you ten years to have your kids sleep through the night, my friend!

Op I would focus on what you can do rather than your physical body. And more money!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous[b wrote:]I am childless and 45.[/b]

Moms always act like having kids ruins their bodies and I’m sure it does to some extent, but a ton of moms have great bodies. And I swear I think having kids might actually be good for muscle tone in your arms.

So no not really. Eventually, all of our bodies are going to age despite whether or not we have kids. I’m guessing those of us who don’t have kids might have better pelvic floors though and less trouble in that department?

I really don't think you can talk about what being pregnant and giving birth does to all women since you have never experienced it.

Why not give op your positive stories rather than insult your mom and other women?

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP, but no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One piece is birthing and (maybe) breastfeeding kids. The other is the wear and toll that childrearing can have. A decade of sleep deprivation, deferred self-care, diminished finances and all the stresses that children bring will have their effects.

Yes, I look 10 years older than my close childfree friend. (Similar background/skin/etc).

I attribute 99% of it to sleep deprivation.

Same. I am an active mom and I am physically in better shape than in my 20s because I care more fitness instead of just being thin, but my face took a big punch when I got my kids and my body would be looking way better if I just had the same epiphany but without the kids.

My Childless friends look a solid 5 years younger than me and I think I fare well. I blame 100% of it on sleep deprivation / exhaustion.

In terms of post baby body, not face. I was lucky, body was not destroyed, but a couple friends gained 50 pounds and really disliked what it did to their body (belly, breasts in particular). Can be corrected but you change. We all grew a bit wider too (thoracic cage opened more, with my best friends we all noted our bra size changed but not only the cup). Finally there is the nether region. People should take more about it. It stays more open.. it definitely changed and not for the better

All that being said: I make the comments above to feed OP’s silver lining question. It is all true. But it would not be reasons for me not to have kids, I couldn’t care less compared to how certain I am of my choice. But if you cannot have kids, you can certainly rejoice in the fact that your body (and maybe even more : your face) won’t have to deal with a big stress. It won’t give you an edge vis a vis diseases like cancer, but it will help you look and feel younger

No real evidence of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One piece is birthing and (maybe) breastfeeding kids. The other is the wear and toll that childrearing can have. A decade of sleep deprivation, deferred self-care, diminished finances and all the stresses that children bring will have their effects.

A decade? You are doing things wrong if it took you ten years to have your kids sleep through the night, my friend!

Op I would focus on what you can do rather than your physical body. And more money!

DP. First of all, it depends on how many kids you have. Second of all, kids interrupt sleep long after they start sleeping through the night. They get sick, they get nightmares, they just decide they want to sleep with you (this interrupts sleep even if you send them right back to bed), they need to wake up early for sports, etc. On the margins, all this makes a difference. Maybe ten years is an exaggeration but the sleep deprivation of parents is significant.

[Anonymous]

Stress accelerates aging: https://www.insider.com/does-stress-cause-wrinkles

Sleep deprivation accelerates aging: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/07/130723155002.htm

Sleep deprivation leads to weight gain: https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/features/lack-of-sleep-weight-gain

Everybody parent is different, and some kids are less stressful than others, but most parents are going to age more quickly and have a harder time keeping weight off than their peers who don’t have kids.