Teen Dating Age Gaps??

[smnoyb]

My DD is recently 14 in 8th grade and very mature for her age. We've never run into any issues in the past with her lying, but she just told us that she has been dating someone for 2 months. Normally, this would be okay, except for the boy is 17, so that somewhat worries us. The two have been friends for a while, and I have actually met the boy before, and he seemed super nice and respectful, but something about the age difference just makes me uncomfortable. What do you guys think?

[Anonymous]

17 and 14 would be okay to me. Nothing older than 3 years age difference, though.

[Anonymous]

I think it's strange and it would be a red flag to me that she hid it for 2 months. I wouldn't forbid it, but I'd proceed with caution.

[Anonymous]

A high schooler who can drive dating an eighth grader? No.

[Anonymous]

What 17 year old boy wants to date a 14 year old? Not normal. Just my opinion.

[Anonymous]

14 and 17 is a big gap. I would tell my DD “no.” But...since she’s been keeping it a secret, she will probably continue to date him in secret. You definitely need to have a candid talk about sex and pregnancy, and you should get her on birth control.

[Anonymous]

Breaks the half your age plus 7 rule.

[Anonymous]

Nope, that is too big of a grade difference. Although when is your daughters birthday? Did you redshirt her?

[Anonymous]

No. Be a parent here.

[Anonymous]

There's not a lot of "forbidding" you can do in this situation. I have 3 young adult DC. If you forbid a relationship this makes it even more desirable and they will just sneak around your back.

[Anonymous]

Nope. I would wonder about the motives of a 17yo who wanted to date a 14yo. That's a power imbalance in the relationship simply due to maturity. And she knows it's not a good idea, or she wouldn't have lied to you about it.

[Anonymous]

How did you just now find out about this? Do you not monitor her texts, SM, where she's going?

My answer to that would be hell no. And I'm not above putting the law on the 17 yo who I imagine will turn 18 this year.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't be against a 9th grade freshman dating a junior.

But a high schooler should have no interest in a middle schooler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's strange and it would be a red flag to me that she hid it for 2 months. I wouldn't forbid it, but I'd proceed with caution.

LOL that is the perfect way for OP to become a grandma.

No OP do not forbid it. Definitely, there need to be rules set she's only 14 and sex talk over and over again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's not a lot of "forbidding" you can do in this situation. I have 3 young adult DC. If you forbid a relationship this makes it even more desirable and they will just sneak around your back.

This. Especially since she kept OP in the dark the first two months.