Teen Dating Age Gaps??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was a 14 then 15 year old 9th grader I dated both 11th and 12th graders. I was very responsible, we were all star students, and so were they and my parents didn’t know the half of it. No sex. Dating for 2 months doesn’t seem like all that long depending how often they see each other before sharing with your parents. That said, the biggest red flag here is that you have a middle schooler - that would be a big no no.

I think this is a case where you have to know your kid best and lay out some ground rules. And yes, birth control. And invite the boy over if possible (if you are allowing the relationship to continue). I would worry that forbidding it will make it even more desirable though. Good luck OP

But this girl is in middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yuck. The guy sounds creepy. I just asked my nephew who is only in 9th grade and he said most 9th graders would hesitate to date a middle schooler.

Exactly and your nephew is likely only 14/15 himself and more age-appropriate and only a year older than OP's daughter and he's sees the issues. Something is off with this 17 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was a 14 then 15 year old 9th grader I dated both 11th and 12th graders. I was very responsible, we were all star students, and so were they and my parents didn’t know the half of it. No sex. Dating for 2 months doesn’t seem like all that long depending how often they see each other before sharing with your parents. That said, the biggest red flag here is that you have a middle schooler - that would be a big no no.

I think this is a case where you have to know your kid best and lay out some ground rules. And yes, birth control. And invite the boy over if possible (if you are allowing the relationship to continue). I would worry that forbidding it will make it even more desirable though. Good luck OP

But this girl is in middle school.

Yes, I explicitly noted that difference and called it a big no no. I was just pointing out the age difference itself is not the end of the world

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was a 14 then 15 year old 9th grader I dated both 11th and 12th graders. I was very responsible, we were all star students, and so were they and my parents didn’t know the half of it. No sex. Dating for 2 months doesn’t seem like all that long depending how often they see each other before sharing with your parents. That said, the biggest red flag here is that you have a middle schooler - that would be a big no no.

I think this is a case where you have to know your kid best and lay out some ground rules. And yes, birth control. And invite the boy over if possible (if you are allowing the relationship to continue). I would worry that forbidding it will make it even more desirable though. Good luck OP

But this girl is in middle school.

This. some freshmen date seniors, but there is a world of difference between middle school and high school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A high schooler who can drive dating an eighth grader? No.

Right!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was a 14 then 15 year old 9th grader I dated both 11th and 12th graders. I was very responsible, we were all star students, and so were they and my parents didn’t know the half of it. No sex. Dating for 2 months doesn’t seem like all that long depending how often they see each other before sharing with your parents. That said, the biggest red flag here is that you have a middle schooler - that would be a big no no.

I think this is a case where you have to know your kid best and lay out some ground rules. And yes, birth control. And invite the boy over if possible (if you are allowing the relationship to continue). I would worry that forbidding it will make it even more desirable though. Good luck OP

But this girl is in middle school.

This. some freshmen date seniors, but there is a world of difference between middle school and high school

That's inappropriate too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was a 14 then 15 year old 9th grader I dated both 11th and 12th graders. I was very responsible, we were all star students, and so were they and my parents didn’t know the half of it. No sex. Dating for 2 months doesn’t seem like all that long depending how often they see each other before sharing with your parents. That said, the biggest red flag here is that you have a middle schooler - that would be a big no no.

I think this is a case where you have to know your kid best and lay out some ground rules. And yes, birth control. And invite the boy over if possible (if you are allowing the relationship to continue). I would worry that forbidding it will make it even more desirable though. Good luck OP

But this girl is in middle school.

This. some freshmen date seniors, but there is a world of difference between middle school and high school

That's inappropriate too.

+1 14-year-old freshman has no business with a 17 yr old senior either.

[Anonymous]

The age difference is inappropriate but if you tell her she can't see him it'll just drive it into secrecy. Where did they meet? Do his parents know? How did this go on during COVID, without you knowing? Does she have phones/social media to use without supervision? If so, start supervising.

Control where/when she sees him - the pandemic probably helps here because she shouldn't be inside anyone's car or house that isn't yours. When the COVID situation improves, encourage them to hang out at your house, in common areas. Tell her they have to be at the house and/or with an adult until she is in high school. Be welcoming to him but be clear about boundaries. If possible, talk to his parents as PP mentioned.

Talk to her about the risks of sending sexy videos or photos. Talk to her about healthy, consensual sex, help her get on birth control even if you don't want her having sex because she's going to do what she wants either way and should be safe.

Big yikes, good luck OP.

[Anonymous]

In the 80's as a freshman at 14 I dated Seniors who were 18. Sh shouldn't date him why? Kids younger than her are having sex with each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the 80's as a freshman at 14 I dated Seniors who were 18. Sh shouldn't date him why? Kids younger than her are having sex with each other.

And none of that is okay. What the hell is wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the 80's as a freshman at 14 I dated Seniors who were 18. Sh shouldn't date him why? Kids younger than her are having sex with each other.

And none of that is okay. What the hell is wrong with you?

She dated 18 year olds when she was 14. That's what's wrong with her.

[Anonymous]

+1

[Anonymous]

While our child was not, kids in our child's MS were having sex. This was two years ago. Kids are getting sexually active younger and younger. Seniors dating Freshmen happens a lot. It's easy to have a 14-17 age gap in high school. Not sure what everyone is so upset about. If you raised your kid with the correct values, you shouldn't be concerned.

[Anonymous]

This. But the Moms on here that are freaking out probably have their 16 year-olds turn over their phone at 10 PM. smh.

[Anonymous]

My sister met her husband in high school. She was 15 and he was an 18 year old senior when they started dating. They are happily married with 3 beautiful children.