Teen Dating Age Gaps??
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Anonymous
| Definitely approach his parents. In today's world, because folks this is not 1984 or 1995, there's something wrong with a 17 ear old who is dating a 14-year-old especially one in middle school. Though that the 17-year-old doesn't know this might suggest other parenting failures. |
Anonymous
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My kids are 14 (August birthday, HS freshman) and 17 (October birthday, HS junior). So they could both be high school students and two years apart in school.
Still, I would not be OK with this. |
Anonymous
What’s the difference between then and now? It was as wrong then as it is now. |
Anonymous
So, I was a rising sophomore when I was 14. So months before we would have been a freshman dating a Senior. This would follow the consensus that age gaps in HS is ok. It was the late 80’s in a small town and I was not an anomaly. I’m not saying it is cool but if it is already happening this is one way to limit damage. It is better to know what is going on than having them sneaking around. FWIW - I’m a fully functional adult, have a PhD in the hard sciences and have been married for 25+ years. |
Anonymous
| My parents, who were very loving and not particularly strict, would not allow my sister and I to date anyone more than two grades ahead of us in High School. This was in the eighties. It wasn't a good idea back then, and isn't now. Plus, in Virginia, and as the mother of teenage sons, I would strongly discourage this due now to the statutory rape laws in this state. |
Anonymous
Then I guess someone should tell all parents of teens and all HS to start publishing the dating rules. Something like: 1)Only Junior and Seniors can date one another. Freshman/Sophmore can date one another. 2) Juniors dating seniors be prepared to breakup if said senior goes to college in the summer/fall. 3) Anyone turning 18, be prepared to breakup you’re dating someone not also turning 18 in the next month or so. Making and enforcing these rules is going to be interesting. But I’d love to watch folks try. |
Anonymous
It was wrong then. But posters who were teens in the 80s and 90s are writing about how they were 14 and dating 18 year olds and it was no big deal, forgetting we're in 2021 where the rules are very different and the enforcement of those rules are different.t |
Anonymous
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This age gap is crazy. 2y is an acceptable age gap max in hs and no more.
Every girl I've seen in this situation ended up having sex or being assaulted and then being dumped because it was a joke to the older boys in school. Even if they know each other from an activity, etc, it still is too large a maturity gap. If they are "meant to be" then the older one will respectfully wait until the younger is older and by that I mean around at least 17. |
Anonymous
What rules are you referring to? |
Anonymous
Because a 17 and 20yo is a good idea? 🤔 |
Anonymous
Um no 3 year age gap in college is vastly different than in HS A 14 year old just finished MS A 17 year old is almost in college |
Anonymous
I agree a 21 and 24 year old, fine A 27 and 30, of course A 14 year old girl is still a child, and that don’t end well in 99 percent of cases |
Anonymous
| And a 17 year old girl is still a child too in many ways |
Anonymous
Yes. It would be seen as weird by almost all 17 year olds. Not at all the same thing, but when I was 20 in college, I went out with a much older man in his early 30’s. We were at old Ebbit Grill for dinner on a date( one of only a handful) and we ran into friends of his coupled with women their own age. He clearly knew them all. Almost all the men were polite but looked uncomfortable. ALL of the five women’s mouths almost dropped open and looked at him like he was dirt after he introduced me to them. It was so obvious they all recognized how weird they thought he was for being with me, a MUCH young woman. That was the last time I went out with him. Peers do notice. |