Would you have a baby with little to no support system?

[Anonymous]

Thoughts

[Anonymous]

Yes if I could purchase that support system, meaning:
-au pair
-therapy and massages for myself
-cleaners
-weekend nanny
-Amazon prime
-food delivery whenever I want or need

[Anonymous]

Why do you need anyone but DH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes if I could purchase that support system, meaning:
-au pair
-therapy and massages for myself
-cleaners
-weekend nanny
-Amazon prime
-food delivery whenever I want or need

+1 great response

[Anonymous]

only if I had A LOT of money.

[Anonymous]

Yes. My parents always tried to pressure me into having children. They would constantly say how much they would help out in terms of babysitting, childcare, etc.

Well turns out they completely forgot what children are like and can't be bothered to help at all except dropping by every 5 months for a couple hours before they are too overwhelmed. Fine by us, but it was rich after my mom tried to guilt me into having children before we were ready.

OP, many people have families without a village.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Only child, my parents died while I was young. Go figure, ended up marrying DH in the same situation.
Support system isn't always by blood or immediate relatives. It could be financial support, friends, etc.

[Anonymous]

My mom did. With my youngest brother my dad said he was done with babies but would have a kid if she didn’t expect him to do anything baby-related. He was in biglaw. She had the baby, took a year of work leave, and my dad loves him but was unengaged until he was older. She had a 3 and 7 year old and apparently I (the 7 year old) was a lot of help. She didn’t tell me all of this until I had my own. If you have money it’s a lot more doable.

[Anonymous]

Well I had a child and discovered my support system was crap, so yes? Love my kid, and glad I have her, so I guess another yes. But not going to have another one specifically because no I know how people can just kind of disappear when you need them most, or can look at a new mom trying to make it work and think only if their own issues. I can’t have another kid knowing what I know now, especially because it would just screw over my existing child.

Oh, and I’m married and my husband is a good, involved dad. So I have it better than some. But your DH can’t be your whole support system. They’re a new parent too, they need support too. You need people outside your immediate family unit. We thought it would be our family and friends; we were incorrect.

[Anonymous]

No one owes you a support system so please don’t impose your children on anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well I had a child and discovered my support system was crap, so yes? Love my kid, and glad I have her, so I guess another yes. But not going to have another one specifically because no I know how people can just kind of disappear when you need them most, or can look at a new mom trying to make it work and think only if their own issues. I can’t have another kid knowing what I know now, especially because it would just screw over my existing child.

Oh, and I’m married and my husband is a good, involved dad. So I have it better than some. But your DH can’t be your whole support system. They’re a new parent too, they need support too. You need people outside your immediate family unit. We thought it would be our family and friends; we were incorrect.

What exactly were you expecting from family and friends that a 2-parent household with a single child couldn't do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need anyone but DH?

Maybe he or she doesn't have a "DH," silly.

[Anonymous]

Are you single or partnered, that’s not clear. If you are single and don’t have a support system and don’t have a ton of money, I think it’s very difficult. If you are partnered, you can definitely do it (I have three kids and no support system outside of DH).

[Anonymous]

I don't understand the need for a support system. I do believe you need 2 strong parents if possible. I raise my kids without extra support. I have built friendships over the years. My friends and I have kids the same age and help each other out when possible but the friendships evolved more out of the kids making friends than me having a suppose system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need anyone but DH?

Maybe he or she doesn't have a "DH," silly.

When I was pregnant, my wife was an incredible support. While her family lives nearby, they were not engaged in supporting us. We’ve done fine raising two kids and have built a great support network of amazing friends here in DC.