What was your alimony arrangement?

[Anonymous]

In a recent thread, some posters said they didn't get any alimony, others were set for life, and still others got it for a few years while they found a job or went to school. (This is separate from child support.)

How long were you married?
What was the reason for the divorce -- i.e., did it factor into the alimony calculation?
What was the difference between your income and spouse's income?
Do you regret the amount you settled on?
Was your alimony agreed upon in mediation or did a judge decide?

[Anonymous]

$0
10 year marriage
The reason does not matter (no fault)
There are spousal support calculators in Va or ask an attorney (it is math)
If I left when I wanted when I was not working, it would have been $3,000 a month; I went back to work though and then it was $0. It was math
He earns double my salary
Kids would have suffered financially if he had to pay me alimony. They did not if I went back to work—so that is what I did
Most divorces do not go to court (only 5%); alimony is math but can be worked out differently in the agreement in mediation or with attorneys

[Anonymous]

14 years
No fault, no factor, end up half the length of marriage
Large difference, although spouse intentionally held back signing a job offer to keep it large
Yes, should have pushed back more, but kids were involved so I didn't
Mediator

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In a recent thread, some posters said they didn't get any alimony, others were set for life, and still others got it for a few years while they found a job or went to school. (This is separate from child support.)

How long were you married? 30 years
What was the reason for the divorce -- i.e., did it factor into the alimony calculation? "Irreconcilable differences" and no factor in alimony calculation
What was the difference between your income and spouse's income? I was the husband and my income was 3X my wife’s.
Do you regret the amount you settled on? Not at all. Why would I? We were married 30 years, she certainly deserved what she got.
Was your alimony agreed upon in mediation or did a judge decide?

Mediation and we followed the NYS guidelines of support which meant for 10 years of monthly payments plus 1/2 of marital assets. I also gave her my 1/2 of our home’s equity, which had no mortgage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In a recent thread, some posters said they didn't get any alimony, others were set for life, and still others got it for a few years while they found a job or went to school. (This is separate from child support.)

How long were you married? 30 years
What was the reason for the divorce -- i.e., did it factor into the alimony calculation? "Irreconcilable differences" and no factor in alimony calculation
What was the difference between your income and spouse's income? I was the husband and my income was 3X my wife’s.
Do you regret the amount you settled on? Not at all. Why would I? We were married 30 years, she certainly deserved what she got.
Was your alimony agreed upon in mediation or did a judge decide?

Mediation and we followed the NYS guidelines of support which meant for 10 years of monthly payments plus 1/2 of marital assets. I also gave her my 1/2 of our home’s equity, which had no mortgage.

Curious, what % of your monthly income is her alimony payment? Was she a SAHM?

[Anonymous]

SAHM
Married 24 years
$10,000 a month for ten years
$8,000 a month for five years
$5,000 a month for life
This is tax free

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In a recent thread, some posters said they didn't get any alimony, others were set for life, and still others got it for a few years while they found a job or went to school. (This is separate from child support.)

How long were you married? 30 years
What was the reason for the divorce -- i.e., did it factor into the alimony calculation? "Irreconcilable differences" and no factor in alimony calculation
What was the difference between your income and spouse's income? I was the husband and my income was 3X my wife’s.
Do you regret the amount you settled on? Not at all. Why would I? We were married 30 years, she certainly deserved what she got.
Was your alimony agreed upon in mediation or did a judge decide?

Mediation and we followed the NYS guidelines of support which meant for 10 years of monthly payments plus 1/2 of marital assets. I also gave her my 1/2 of our home’s equity, which had no mortgage.

Curious, what % of your monthly income is her alimony payment? Was she a SAHM?

I don’t recall the %, but it was definitely a calculation based on difference of income and then a % of that difference. My divorce was 9 years ago and I just sent her her 2021 payment in one lump (rather than a monthly check) to help her out of a cash flow shortfall. We remain in a cordial friendship. Not besties, but certainly not enemies. Good person.

[Anonymous]

^^^^^^ She worked about 28 hours per week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SAHM
Married 24 years
$10,000 a month for ten years
$8,000 a month for five years
$5,000 a month for life
This is tax free

What was HHI at end of marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$0
10 year marriage
The reason does not matter (no fault)
There are spousal support calculators in Va or ask an attorney (it is math)
If I left when I wanted when I was not working, it would have been $3,000 a month; I went back to work though and then it was $0. It was math
He earns double my salary
Kids would have suffered financially if he had to pay me alimony. They did not if I went back to work—so that is what I did
Most divorces do not go to court (only 5%); alimony is math but can be worked out differently in the agreement in mediation or with attorneys

Are you guys civil toward each other? This is an interesting arrangement to me because it seems really ideal. I’m a stay at home mom and if I got divorced I would want something like this. How do you feel about it?

[Anonymous]

Just FYI OP but this is probably not going to be an apples to apples comparison among posters due to (i) laws of different states and (ii) equally important but the changes to the treatment of alimony in the tax reform bill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM
Married 24 years
$10,000 a month for ten years
$8,000 a month for five years
$5,000 a month for life
This is tax free

What was HHI at end of marriage?

$700,000

[Anonymous]

OP here. Please tell us the monthly payment if you're willing. I didn't mean to leave that question out. Thanks for the responses.

[Anonymous]

Married 12 years, together 22.
He makes 190k, I make 95k.
We agreed to 10 years of alimony payments that are based on our respective salaries and will be recalculated annually. At the moment, it's 1400/month.
He was cheating on me with men, so there was some guilt involved that probably made him more willing to help me out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM
Married 24 years
$10,000 a month for ten years
$8,000 a month for five years
$5,000 a month for life
This is tax free

What was HHI at end of marriage?

$700,000

Does this change is wife remarries?