What was your alimony arrangement?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$0
10 year marriage
The reason does not matter (no fault)
There are spousal support calculators in Va or ask an attorney (it is math)
If I left when I wanted when I was not working, it would have been $3,000 a month; I went back to work though and then it was $0. It was math
He earns double my salary
Kids would have suffered financially if he had to pay me alimony. They did not if I went back to work—so that is what I did
Most divorces do not go to court (only 5%); alimony is math but can be worked out differently in the agreement in mediation or with attorneys

Are you guys civil toward each other? This is an interesting arrangement to me because it seems really ideal. I’m a stay at home mom and if I got divorced I would want something like this. How do you feel about it?

Sure you would. Leech.

[Anonymous]

16 years.

I make 4x what she makes.

No alimony because she cheated and I proved it in court.

She also only got 40% of assets because of the infidelity.

Custody was 50/50 on paper but kids chose to live with me when they deduced what happened. I never sought to modify the CS since it was only for about four more years once they moved in with me full-time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM
Married 24 years
$10,000 a month for ten years
$8,000 a month for five years
$5,000 a month for life
This is tax free

This was roughly what I was entitled to, but only a 14 year marriage. Sahm, three kids. He averaged $270,000 over the marriage but made $500,000 in a banner year the year we split.

He cut off all access to cash etc when he left. I had a job within 4 mos (after 11 years home raising kids)- and I got incredibly lucky. By the time we went to settlement 2 years after he split, I was earning just under $400,000. No alimony. Gotta tell you- he’s a hateful crazy narcissist and him Stroking that alimony check each month would have been absolute insanity. I’m much happier getting my 24,000 a month in my own income and directly contributing to my own retirement. I am so proud that after 11 years home raising our three kids while travelled and was not often around, I am able to 100% stand on my own.

Marriages longer than 20 years still can involve lifetime alimony.

[Anonymous]

Married 25 years.
Split assets (house, 401k, IRA)
$5000 alimony/month until retirement
No child support as kids were not minors

[Anonymous]

Billions!

Am starting my family office Jan 2024!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married 12 years, together 22.
He makes 190k, I make 95k.
We agreed to 10 years of alimony payments that are based on our respective salaries and will be recalculated annually. At the moment, it's 1400/month.
He was cheating on me with men, so there was some guilt involved that probably made him more willing to help me out.

I was getting zero alimony with these exact numbers. Married 10 years. What state are you in?

MD. We worked this out between ourselves and a mediator, didn't go to court.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SAHM
Married 24 years
$10,000 a month for ten years
$8,000 a month for five years
$5,000 a month for life
This is tax free

Please tell us what amazing thing(s) you did while married to deserve his lifetime support while your EX husband continues working?

[Anonymous]

8 years
His infidelity
$3000 per month for 17 years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM
Married 24 years
$10,000 a month for ten years
$8,000 a month for five years
$5,000 a month for life
This is tax free

What was HHI at end of marriage?

$700,000

Does this change is wife remarries?

In some states, you can include language that the alimony aware is nonmodifiable except by death. It is rare, and your lawyer would need to use the correct language.

[Anonymous]

What happens if one spouse elects to retire after a long and lucrative career, and the other continues to work? Is there a risk that the retired spouse will get alimony from the working spouse? If so, and divorce is possible, it seems both spouses should retire simultaneously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
so only 10 years of alimony for 30 years of marriage? This is surprising.

Really? That was per NYS guidelines in place at the time and I was advised that, in consideration of my giving up my 1/2 of the house, we could knock either the monthly amount or the # of years down. I declined.
Today, as I understand it, in NYS alimony is less generous than it used to be. Ymmv.

OK so wasn't house part of joint assets if you were married 30 years?

Of course. We had a 50/50 division of joint assets. I declined my 1/2 of the house in order to allow her to keep it. I took nothing in place of that equity.
Not sure what your questioning.

Understood and not questioning anything (just clarifying for my understanding). I can't believe she took that in place of lifetime of alimony.

I am not the PP you are responding to but alimony is not usually for life...not anymore. It's usually temporary--a set number years. This is not the 1980s. Those days are over.

After 30 years of marriage? She's probably 60 something!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM
Married 24 years
$10,000 a month for ten years
$8,000 a month for five years
$5,000 a month for life
This is tax free

This was roughly what I was entitled to, but only a 14 year marriage. Sahm, three kids. He averaged $270,000 over the marriage but made $500,000 in a banner year the year we split.

He cut off all access to cash etc when he left. I had a job within 4 mos (after 11 years home raising kids)- and I got incredibly lucky. By the time we went to settlement 2 years after he split, I was earning just under $400,000. No alimony. Gotta tell you- he’s a hateful crazy narcissist and him Stroking that alimony check each month would have been absolute insanity. I’m much happier getting my 24,000 a month in my own income and directly contributing to my own retirement. I am so proud that after 11 years home raising our three kids while travelled and was not often around, I am able to 100% stand on my own.

Dying to hear how you went from not working for 11 years to earning $400K?

I bet you anything it's an MLM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM
Married 24 years
$10,000 a month for ten years
$8,000 a month for five years
$5,000 a month for life
This is tax free

This was roughly what I was entitled to, but only a 14 year marriage. Sahm, three kids. He averaged $270,000 over the marriage but made $500,000 in a banner year the year we split.

He cut off all access to cash etc when he left. I had a job within 4 mos (after 11 years home raising kids)- and I got incredibly lucky. By the time we went to settlement 2 years after he split, I was earning just under $400,000. No alimony. Gotta tell you- he’s a hateful crazy narcissist and him Stroking that alimony check each month would have been absolute insanity. I’m much happier getting my 24,000 a month in my own income and directly contributing to my own retirement. I am so proud that after 11 years home raising our three kids while travelled and was not often around, I am able to 100% stand on my own.

Wow! What line of work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM
Married 24 years
$10,000 a month for ten years
$8,000 a month for five years
$5,000 a month for life
This is tax free

What was HHI at end of marriage?

$700,000

Was this arrangement through mediation or decided by a judge?