What was your alimony arrangement?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The law should limit all alimony in proportion to how many hours per week does the recipient work vs the payer. Under no circumstances should an unemployed human be paid to do nothing by their WORKING ex spouse. Get a JOB people!

If they’re both working/commuting more than 40 hours a week who is raising the kids? Your system sounds fine as long as the spouse who was working in marriage also pays for a full time nanny plus overtime I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SAHM
Married 24 years
$10,000 a month for ten years
$8,000 a month for five years
$5,000 a month for life
This is tax free

This was roughly what I was entitled to, but only a 14 year marriage. Sahm, three kids. He averaged $270,000 over the marriage but made $500,000 in a banner year the year we split.

He cut off all access to cash etc when he left. I had a job within 4 mos (after 11 years home raising kids)- and I got incredibly lucky. By the time we went to settlement 2 years after he split, I was earning just under $400,000. No alimony. Gotta tell you- he’s a hateful crazy narcissist and him Stroking that alimony check each month would have been absolute insanity. I’m much happier getting my 24,000 a month in my own income and directly contributing to my own retirement. I am so proud that after 11 years home raising our three kids while travelled and was not often around, I am able to 100% stand on my own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In a recent thread, some posters said they didn't get any alimony, others were set for life, and still others got it for a few years while they found a job or went to school. (This is separate from child support.)

How long were you married?
What was the reason for the divorce -- i.e., did it factor into the alimony calculation?
What was the difference between your income and spouse's income?
Do you regret the amount you settled on?
Was your alimony agreed upon in mediation or did a judge decide?

5 months at $3000
Married 5 years
He was abusive
I made slightly more, but he had family money.
I was shocked to get anything.
No.
Judge granted it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM
Married 24 years
$10,000 a month for ten years
$8,000 a month for five years
$5,000 a month for life
This is tax free

This was roughly what I was entitled to, but only a 14 year marriage. Sahm, three kids. He averaged $270,000 over the marriage but made $500,000 in a banner year the year we split.

He cut off all access to cash etc when he left. I had a job within 4 mos (after 11 years home raising kids)- and I got incredibly lucky. By the time we went to settlement 2 years after he split, I was earning just under $400,000. No alimony. Gotta tell you- he’s a hateful crazy narcissist and him Stroking that alimony check each month would have been absolute insanity. I’m much happier getting my 24,000 a month in my own income and directly contributing to my own retirement. I am so proud that after 11 years home raising our three kids while travelled and was not often around, I am able to 100% stand on my own.

Typo. I’m making 34,000 a month. Sales.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM
Married 24 years
$10,000 a month for ten years
$8,000 a month for five years
$5,000 a month for life
This is tax free

I don’t understand how this is possible. Traditionally, alimony is deductible to the payer and taxable to the recipient.
I don’t see the IRS allowing anyone to get $5k a month, essentially forever, tax free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM
Married 24 years
$10,000 a month for ten years
$8,000 a month for five years
$5,000 a month for life
This is tax free

I don’t understand how this is possible. Traditionally, alimony is deductible to the payer and taxable to the recipient.
I don’t see the IRS allowing anyone to get $5k a month, essentially forever, tax free.

The law changed last year. The payer now pays the taxes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM
Married 24 years
$10,000 a month for ten years
$8,000 a month for five years
$5,000 a month for life
This is tax free

This was roughly what I was entitled to, but only a 14 year marriage. Sahm, three kids. He averaged $270,000 over the marriage but made $500,000 in a banner year the year we split.

He cut off all access to cash etc when he left. I had a job within 4 mos (after 11 years home raising kids)- and I got incredibly lucky. By the time we went to settlement 2 years after he split, I was earning just under $400,000. No alimony. Gotta tell you- he’s a hateful crazy narcissist and him Stroking that alimony check each month would have been absolute insanity. I’m much happier getting my 24,000 a month in my own income and directly contributing to my own retirement. I am so proud that after 11 years home raising our three kids while travelled and was not often around, I am able to 100% stand on my own.

Typo. I’m making 34,000 a month. Sales.

You do understand that you whatever opportunity you got is not available to 99.9% of long term SAHMs. Your comment is pretty out of touch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM
Married 24 years
$10,000 a month for ten years
$8,000 a month for five years
$5,000 a month for life
This is tax free

This was roughly what I was entitled to, but only a 14 year marriage. Sahm, three kids. He averaged $270,000 over the marriage but made $500,000 in a banner year the year we split.

He cut off all access to cash etc when he left. I had a job within 4 mos (after 11 years home raising kids)- and I got incredibly lucky. By the time we went to settlement 2 years after he split, I was earning just under $400,000. No alimony. Gotta tell you- he’s a hateful crazy narcissist and him Stroking that alimony check each month would have been absolute insanity. I’m much happier getting my 24,000 a month in my own income and directly contributing to my own retirement. I am so proud that after 11 years home raising our three kids while travelled and was not often around, I am able to 100% stand on my own.

Typo. I’m making 34,000 a month. Sales.

You do understand that you whatever opportunity you got is not available to 99.9% of long term SAHMs. Your comment is pretty out of touch.

Since PP said she got “incredibly lucky” it seems like she does understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM
Married 24 years
$10,000 a month for ten years
$8,000 a month for five years
$5,000 a month for life
This is tax free

I don’t understand how this is possible. Traditionally, alimony is deductible to the payer and taxable to the recipient.
I don’t see the IRS allowing anyone to get $5k a month, essentially forever, tax free.

The law changed last year. The payer now pays the taxes.

Only for new divorces. Old ones alimony is still tax free

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM
Married 24 years
$10,000 a month for ten years
$8,000 a month for five years
$5,000 a month for life
This is tax free

This was roughly what I was entitled to, but only a 14 year marriage. Sahm, three kids. He averaged $270,000 over the marriage but made $500,000 in a banner year the year we split.

He cut off all access to cash etc when he left. I had a job within 4 mos (after 11 years home raising kids)- and I got incredibly lucky. By the time we went to settlement 2 years after he split, I was earning just under $400,000. No alimony. Gotta tell you- he’s a hateful crazy narcissist and him Stroking that alimony check each month would have been absolute insanity. I’m much happier getting my 24,000 a month in my own income and directly contributing to my own retirement. I am so proud that after 11 years home raising our three kids while travelled and was not often around, I am able to 100% stand on my own.

Typo. I’m making 34,000 a month. Sales.

You do understand that you whatever opportunity you got is not available to 99.9% of long term SAHMs. Your comment is pretty out of touch.

Since PP said she got “incredibly lucky” it seems like she does understand.

Thank goodness she corrected her salary typo so we all understand just how lucky she got.

[Anonymous]

I went against my lawyers advice and refused alimony. I did get child support. I'm an adult. I don't need to be taken care of like a child. I had been a SAHM for 8 years. I did what most responsible adults to - I found a job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went against my lawyers advice and refused alimony. I did get child support. I'm an adult. I don't need to be taken care of like a child. I had been a SAHM for 8 years. I did what most responsible adults to - I found a job.

Much different than a wife that stayed home and was married for 24 years. You do realize people have different circumstance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went against my lawyers advice and refused alimony. I did get child support. I'm an adult. I don't need to be taken care of like a child. I had been a SAHM for 8 years. I did what most responsible adults to - I found a job.

Every PP in this thread who receives alimony also works. Why turn down money? In my case, he cheated, he pays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went against my lawyers advice and refused alimony. I did get child support. I'm an adult. I don't need to be taken care of like a child. I had been a SAHM for 8 years. I did what most responsible adults to - I found a job.

Every PP in this thread who receives alimony also works. Why turn down money? In my case, he cheated, he pays.

My wife cheated. I pay child support, not alimony

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The law should limit all alimony in proportion to how many hours per week does the recipient work vs the payer. Under no circumstances should an unemployed human be paid to do nothing by their WORKING ex spouse. Get a JOB people!

If they’re both working/commuting more than 40 hours a week who is raising the kids? Your system sounds fine as long as the spouse who was working in marriage also pays for a full time nanny plus overtime I guess.

50/50 joint custody so BOTH divorced parents are equally raising the kids. If one spouse requires a nanny that spouse can pay for a nanny.