Is it weird to be a virgin after 35?

[Anonymous]

If you were what were you asked and what answers did you give? Im finding people incredulous because I'm attractive and have a job or judgemental.

[Anonymous]

It’s definitely unusual.

[Anonymous]

I think statistically it would be unusual. Even after 25. I have not been in this position so not sure what I would say

[Anonymous]

I was until my late 20s and I thought I was an outlier then.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I would find it odd and would assume some deep seated intimacy issues.

[Anonymous]

Yeah it’s weird. I’d figure you’re super religious.

[Anonymous]

Super weird. I would absolutely wonder what was wrong with you.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely weird.

Probably do not share unless you want judgment and opinions. I’d assume you are a-sexual.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, there's something going on there. If I was interested in dating you (and why else would it come up in conversation?!) it would be a huge red flag.

[Anonymous]

It’s a feedback loop.

People won’t date you because you’re a virgin, and the longer you stay one, the more people who won’t date you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was until my late 20s and I thought I was an outlier then.

You were

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah it’s weird. I’d figure you’re super religious.

I would figure religious but also something "off" there. Most really religious people aren't single virgins out on the dating scene at 35, they got married young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s a feedback loop.

People won’t date you because you’re a virgin, and the longer you stay one, the more people who won’t date you.

No need to even mention it if that’s the case.

So what’s the story OP?

[Anonymous]

So you are 1) asexual woman 2) very closeted guy man or 3) victim of sexual abuse?

[Anonymous]

I was 34, I think. I wasn’t hyper religious, but for quite some time I never had opportunity and inclination at the same time. I had gotten over “nice girls don’t” in my early 20s, but I also never felt like sex was just a random recreational activity or that virginity was just something to be “gotten rid of”. I had high drive at times, but I took care of myself.

So when it just felt right, I didn’t tell him. At that moment my virginity was not a big deal to me, but probably would have made him all weird and awkward, so I didn’t say anything. He still doesn’t know - 20 years later. It just never occurred to him that someone like me (not particularly religious, not particularly unattractive, etc) would not have had sec before.