No Kids at Wedding - Why So Much Anger?!

[Anonymous]

I never bring my children to weddings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No kids at a wedding is a relatively new thing.

So? The wedding couple get to decide how they want their wedding to be. It's quite simple. And you as a guest get to decide if you can attend or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids (family and friends) were invited to my DD's wedding. Most parents had checked in the hotel where the wedding took place and they managed their kids very well. No one cried, no one misbehaved. C'mon, they are there with their parents and relatives. They were precious and my DD danced with all the kids at the dance floor.

I love weddings where you have kids, babies, teens, old people.

And I've been to weddings where a few under 5s are running around screaming/crying during the ceremony and reception, making it so other guests cannot see/hear and enjoy the wedding. And the parents did not do enough to control those kids. Not so precious when a 2 yo runs thru the first dance or Bride/Dad dance while screaming their head off.

But if you are okay with that, then you can choose that for your own wedding. But many prefer not to experience that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids (family and friends) were invited to my DD's wedding. Most parents had checked in the hotel where the wedding took place and they managed their kids very well. No one cried, no one misbehaved. C'mon, they are there with their parents and relatives. They were precious and my DD danced with all the kids at the dance floor.

I love weddings where you have kids, babies, teens, old people.

Is this supposed to nullify all the reports here of children misbehaving at weddings?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never bring my children to weddings.

How sad. I was 21 the first time I got to attend a wedding and really wish I'd gotten to attend some as a child. It's not like I didn't know how to behave at a formal event - I went to a ton of bar and bat mitzvahs.

[Anonymous]

Today for DCUM to weigh in on:

I'm thinking about not attending my cousin's wedding since children are not allowed.

Details:

-- This is my only cousin.
-- My children are 14 and 16, well behaved, and have been to formal events before (you already guessed: It's black tie).
-- My kids are my aunt's and uncle's only great-niece and great-nephew.
-- The kid-free thing is driven by the cousin's fiancee, the bride.
-- This is a 250-person wedding in Greenwich, CT, and bride's family, who is paying, is exceptionally affluent and from NYC society.
-- We live in Chicago and will need to travel in for the full weekend by plane
-- We have one local relative on our side who could watch our kids for the weekend, my husband's mom, who is 86 and can't drive after a stroke.

In other words, this is not a scenario where allowing siblings or cousins to bring their kids as an exception to the no-kids thing would mean 40 extra plates or something, or a wedding where headcount costs are sensitive.

Yes, it's their day. It's just so ... tacky.

Yes, the bride is 30, all of her friends are already married, she had the custom cocktail menu picked out two years ago, and she put my hapless cousin on a skincare routine.

If it weren't for potentially hurting the feelings of my aunt and uncle -- this is their only child -- I wouldn't attend at all. I'm just here to vent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Today for DCUM to weigh in on:

I'm thinking about not attending my cousin's wedding since children are not allowed.

Details:

-- This is my only cousin.
-- My children are 14 and 16, well behaved, and have been to formal events before (you already guessed: It's black tie).
-- My kids are my aunt's and uncle's only great-niece and great-nephew.
-- The kid-free thing is driven by the cousin's fiancee, the bride.
-- This is a 250-person wedding in Greenwich, CT, and bride's family, who is paying, is exceptionally affluent and from NYC society.
-- We live in Chicago and will need to travel in for the full weekend by plane
-- We have one local relative on our side who could watch our kids for the weekend, my husband's mom, who is 86 and can't drive after a stroke.

In other words, this is not a scenario where allowing siblings or cousins to bring their kids as an exception to the no-kids thing would mean 40 extra plates or something, or a wedding where headcount costs are sensitive.

Yes, it's their day. It's just so ... tacky.

Yes, the bride is 30, all of her friends are already married, she had the custom cocktail menu picked out two years ago, and she put my hapless cousin on a skincare routine.

If it weren't for potentially hurting the feelings of my aunt and uncle -- this is their only child -- I wouldn't attend at all. I'm just here to vent.

I wouldn't go. And, I'd tell the aunt and uncle why.

[Anonymous]

We had no infants/toddlers during the church ceremony and paid a babysitter to watch them, but they were welcome at the reception/meal. It was for 30 minutes, but was a huge issue for my SIL who didn't come. Fine. They don't speak to us now over some other slight, which we've never figured out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Today for DCUM to weigh in on:

I'm thinking about not attending my cousin's wedding since children are not allowed.

Details:

-- This is my only cousin.
-- My children are 14 and 16, well behaved, and have been to formal events before (you already guessed: It's black tie).
-- My kids are my aunt's and uncle's only great-niece and great-nephew.
-- The kid-free thing is driven by the cousin's fiancee, the bride.
-- This is a 250-person wedding in Greenwich, CT, and bride's family, who is paying, is exceptionally affluent and from NYC society.
-- We live in Chicago and will need to travel in for the full weekend by plane
-- We have one local relative on our side who could watch our kids for the weekend, my husband's mom, who is 86 and can't drive after a stroke.

In other words, this is not a scenario where allowing siblings or cousins to bring their kids as an exception to the no-kids thing would mean 40 extra plates or something, or a wedding where headcount costs are sensitive.

Yes, it's their day. It's just so ... tacky.

Yes, the bride is 30, all of her friends are already married, she had the custom cocktail menu picked out two years ago, and she put my hapless cousin on a skincare routine.

If it weren't for potentially hurting the feelings of my aunt and uncle -- this is their only child -- I wouldn't attend at all. I'm just here to vent.

I wouldn't go. And, I'd tell the aunt and uncle why.

This.

[Anonymous]

If a wedding is not local, we only go if our whole family is invited. No hard feelings, we jus don't have anybody available for overnight childcare and neither I nor DH care to go alone and leave the other spouse home with the kids. Again, no hard feelings and we still send a nice gift.

[Anonymous]

So basically people are allowed to decide who they invited to ANY party. Any. Why do people think it’s different for weddings. It is THEIR party. They decide. period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Today for DCUM to weigh in on:

I'm thinking about not attending my cousin's wedding since children are not allowed.

Details:

-- This is my only cousin.
-- My children are 14 and 16, well behaved, and have been to formal events before (you already guessed: It's black tie).
-- My kids are my aunt's and uncle's only great-niece and great-nephew.
-- The kid-free thing is driven by the cousin's fiancee, the bride.
-- This is a 250-person wedding in Greenwich, CT, and bride's family, who is paying, is exceptionally affluent and from NYC society.
-- We live in Chicago and will need to travel in for the full weekend by plane
-- We have one local relative on our side who could watch our kids for the weekend, my husband's mom, who is 86 and can't drive after a stroke.

In other words, this is not a scenario where allowing siblings or cousins to bring their kids as an exception to the no-kids thing would mean 40 extra plates or something, or a wedding where headcount costs are sensitive.

Yes, it's their day. It's just so ... tacky.

Yes, the bride is 30, all of her friends are already married, she had the custom cocktail menu picked out two years ago, and she put my hapless cousin on a skincare routine.

If it weren't for potentially hurting the feelings of my aunt and uncle -- this is their only child -- I wouldn't attend at all. I'm just here to vent.

Can you go alone? I sort of understand the no little kids thing at a formal event, but I don’t get it for teens. My 16 year old is invited to a cousin’s upcoming wedding, but not to the rehearsal dinner. Which is fine—they can do what they want—but when my whole family has already traveled to be there, I’m just supposed to leave my kid alone in a hotel to have dinner by herself? It’s weird. I think I’ll send my husband to that alone and I’ll hang out with my kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So basically people are allowed to decide who they invited to ANY party. Any. Why do people think it’s different for weddings. It is THEIR party. They decide. period.

Yes, they are, and invited people are allowed to decline or just find the whole thing so tacky. Hosts can be tacky at ANY party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Today for DCUM to weigh in on:

I'm thinking about not attending my cousin's wedding since children are not allowed.

Details:

-- This is my only cousin.
-- My children are 14 and 16, well behaved, and have been to formal events before (you already guessed: It's black tie).
-- My kids are my aunt's and uncle's only great-niece and great-nephew.
-- The kid-free thing is driven by the cousin's fiancee, the bride.
-- This is a 250-person wedding in Greenwich, CT, and bride's family, who is paying, is exceptionally affluent and from NYC society.
-- We live in Chicago and will need to travel in for the full weekend by plane
-- We have one local relative on our side who could watch our kids for the weekend, my husband's mom, who is 86 and can't drive after a stroke.

In other words, this is not a scenario where allowing siblings or cousins to bring their kids as an exception to the no-kids thing would mean 40 extra plates or something, or a wedding where headcount costs are sensitive.

Yes, it's their day. It's just so ... tacky.

Yes, the bride is 30, all of her friends are already married, she had the custom cocktail menu picked out two years ago, and she put my hapless cousin on a skincare routine.

If it weren't for potentially hurting the feelings of my aunt and uncle -- this is their only child -- I wouldn't attend at all. I'm just here to vent.

Can you go alone? I sort of understand the no little kids thing at a formal event, but I don’t get it for teens. My 16 year old is invited to a cousin’s upcoming wedding, but not to the rehearsal dinner. Which is fine—they can do what they want—but when my whole family has already traveled to be there, I’m just supposed to leave my kid alone in a hotel to have dinner by herself? It’s weird. I think I’ll send my husband to that alone and I’ll hang out with my kid.

I could go alone, for the reasons you mentioned -- the other option is to, what exactly, fly my teens to NYC and have them spend Friday and Saturday in the hotel by themselves (they'd be fine) while I am at the wedding with my husband?

[Anonymous]

A 14 and 16 year old can entertain themselves for one weekend.

You should attend, whether alone or with spouse.

Stay in NYC and then hire an adult to hang out with them for a few hours.