PP and her daughter aren't financing the event.
I think most people realize if they are not paying for it, the guest list is not their business. Getting offended over this is absurd. |
So? They chose to only invite 18+ or 21+. You either decide to attend or not. But with a 16/17 yo, you can easily leave them home for the weekend and attend, if you actually want to attend. |
Spouse is different than a kid. So yes, I'd be annoyed if my spouse was not invited to a wedding with me. My kids, I dont' care. Very different situations |
Unless you are paying for the wedding and reception then you have no say so in who is, or who is not, invited. Most American children are feral and no one wants wild animals at their wedding. If you don't like this then stay home
. |
I agree with this. With a cousin it’s certainly sad, but it’s not going to cause bad blood or hurt if childcare can’t be found or if childcare and accommodations are cost prohibitive (which is what any normal person would assume). |
do you respond contrary to the invitation - so if the envelope is addressed Jenna and Jack Doe, you write back "five" because that's your family? |
We had no kids except for one sibling with kids and that child attended. Lined up two sitters and let folks work it out. |
I only see it as an issue in families where an invitation is a summons. Then people guilt trip you and lash out if you don't want to leave your children. If people just accept you may need to decline and you still are a welcome member of the family, it's no big deal. |
DP: Nope, because it's not addressed to "& family". So it's me and my spouse only, unless told otherwise. |
Well any family where an invitation is a summons has issues already. My IL side is somewhat like that. Over the years they have learned we don't play those games. No is a simple answer and they don't need more details. But yes, we've been hounded for not attending a wedding (of 2nd cousins that we haven't seen since they were babies) and we replied No. Yeah we are not attending. We had a vacation to Europe planned during that time and certainly are not adjusting that. |
Friends were invited, but it was the parents' fiends, i.e., "family friends." Or maybe that's what you meant by community members. That's partly why we insitsted on paying for our own wedding, I wanted to invite MY frinds, not my mom's college roomate who I hadn't seen since I was 10. |
I have a large extended family on my dad's side and find that my cousins all roll with it. Sometimes kids are invited, sometimes not, sometimes even if they are invited they/I leave the kids home anyway, because flying everyone to FL for a random October weekend doesn't always work.
Our attempted compromise was to invite kids in our families. The only people who questioned this were local friends/work colleagues who didn't want to get a sitter for the night. |
At my wedding, we invited cousins' kids, but not friends' kids. Most of my cousins hadn't had kids yet, so it was easy to include them without ballooning the guest list. Now that they've all had more kids, I might limit it to just my nieces and nephews. I think as long as "categories" of people are all excluded, it's reasonable and fine. But it would be rude and offensive to say that Cousin A's kids are invited, but Cousin B's kids are not. |
IMO, not always rude. If the B/G are very close to Cousin A's kids, but barely see Cousin B's kids, that just might happen. Especially if the venue has a guest limit. |
Oh I had someone add names to the RSVP card. We don't talk now. |