MIL pissed we didn't acknowledge/remember her wedding anniversary

[Anonymous]

Is it common to acknowledge/remember your MIL/FIL's wedding anniversary? It was never a big deal with my parents. At most I remember them going out to dinner or ordering in food from their favorite restaurant, but it was never a date I was expected to remember or acknowledge. My MIL's all pissed off at us now.

[Anonymous]

are you a newly wed? It would be incredibly odd for this to come up years down the road. If you are, did DH send something before you came along?

[Anonymous]

I have never acknowledged my in-laws anniversary. I'm not even sure when my own parents anniversary is.

[Anonymous]

In my family, anniversaries are between spouses.

[Anonymous]

Was it a big anniversary?

[Anonymous]

Some families do this, others don’t. My parents are divorced, but I always send a card to my aunt and uncle and to my cousin for their anniversaries.

Either way, though, not you know it matters to your MIL, so note the date on your calendar and say something next year. This isn’t a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my family, anniversaries are between spouses.

+1

Ignore. If DH wants to remember his parents' anniversary and acknowledge it each year, go for it, but that's not your responsibility.

[Anonymous]

We do keep track of our parents' anniversaries - don't really celebrate or get gifts unless for a milestone anniversary but send a quick "Happy Anniversary!" text every year.

I understand why they would be disappointed if it was a big milestone - 25, 40, 50, etc. Was it?

[Anonymous]

How does your husband not know when his parents’ anniversary is? I wouldn’t be pissed if they forgot, but my tweens get excited to acknowledge ours. My siblings and I always wished our parents a happy anniversary. Your husband should have remembered.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Yes, newlywed and not a big milestone anniversary either. My husband's thinking about sending "I'm sorry" flowers but I really don't want to. I would never expect anyone to remember my wedding anniversary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some families do this, others don’t. My parents are divorced, but I always send a card to my aunt and uncle and to my cousin for their anniversaries.

Either way, though, not you know it matters to your MIL, so note the date on your calendar and say something next year. This isn’t a big deal.

I would contend that a MIL who is pissed her anniversary wasn't acknowledged isn't going to be happy with a mere Happy Anniversary. So it can turn into a big deal. And if she's this way about an anniversary, this says a lot about her expectations of how she wants to be treated in general moving forward. I would establish a boundary right out of the gate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes, newlywed and not a big milestone anniversary either. My husband's thinking about sending "I'm sorry" flowers but I really don't want to. I would never expect anyone to remember my wedding anniversary.

Has he always done something before?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How does your husband not know when his parents’ anniversary is? I wouldn’t be pissed if they forgot, but my tweens get excited to acknowledge ours. My siblings and I always wished our parents a happy anniversary. Your husband should have remembered.

Not all families are like yours. Don't judge others who do it differently.

[Anonymous]

I actually don't remember for sure my own wedding date. I know my parents' was in July (they are both deceased) and we had a big event for their 25th but I don't know the date. And no idea when my in-laws were married. Question is, did FIL remember it???

[Anonymous]

This was on your husband to remember. But I would set a boundary from the beginning. I don't believe in gifts on anniversaries other than the milestone ones (25/50). I also don't expect anyone to remember mine. We received gifts on our first anniversary, but nothing after that.