Is this abuse? Whom is the abuser?

[Anonymous]

What would you do if your spouse started kicking you on purpose out of anger in bed b/c your alarm in your phone went off? You grab their four un self defense. They are now complaining about the bruise on their ankle, but not before they threw an alarm clock at you, hitting you in the face. They then justify their response saying that you were aggressive against them. Who is the abuser here? If there is indeed abuse.

[Anonymous]

And the lead up to this is you have your alarm set super loud and refuse to adjust the settings or use it with headphones. This had been brought up to you repeatedly by spouse, but you ignore it.


The answer is you are both abusive and toxic AF. GRow up and seek help!

[Anonymous]

Who not whom

[Anonymous]

No, i don’t use the alarm, but iPhone software updated and the alarm is apparently in the Heakth app and went off at 5 am. So, my spouse was justified to start kicking me in bed over it because, IYO, it was loud and I didn’t use headphones? 🙄

[Anonymous]

Typo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And the lead up to this is you have your alarm set super loud and refuse to adjust the settings or use it with headphones. This had been brought up to you repeatedly by spouse, but you ignore it.


The answer is you are both abusive and toxic AF. GRow up and seek help!

This person is correct. You also sound like a moron.

[Anonymous]

Hitting/kicking is never okay. And blaming you for getting a bruise is Reactive Abuse.


https://breakthesilencedv.org/reactive-abuse-what-it-is-and-why-abusers-rely-on-it/

[Anonymous]

I don’t think kicking someone who isn’t waking up to their alarm is per se abuse. If it’s hard enough to be painful, sure, but you have to budge a person somehow in that situation. The escalation sure sounds abusive.

[Anonymous]

Thank you

[Anonymous]

You're both abusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And the lead up to this is you have your alarm set super loud and refuse to adjust the settings or use it with headphones. This had been brought up to you repeatedly by spouse, but you ignore it.


The answer is you are both abusive and toxic AF. GRow up and seek help!

This person is correct. You also sound like a moron.

+2

Seek help!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, i don’t use the alarm, but iPhone software updated and the alarm is apparently in the Heakth app and went off at 5 am. So, my spouse was justified to start kicking me in bed over it because, IYO, it was loud and I didn’t use headphones? 🙄

I'd kick your ass too if you weren't working double-time to shut that thing off at 5 am.

[Anonymous]

Whomst've the abuser?

[Anonymous]

Hitting someone is abusive, grabbing someone to stop them from hitting you isn't. Throwing an alarm clock at someone is definitely abusive. Hitting someone because an alarm went off is crazy. I have no idea where the other posters are getting that both sides should toxic; you're allowed to stop someone from hitting you, that isn't toxic.

[Anonymous]

Kicking is never ok. Ever. The bigger problem here is that there are 2 adults in this relationship that has devolved into kicking and finger pointing. This will not end well. You both need therapy ASAP.