Is this abuse? Whom is the abuser?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She threw the alarm clock and hit him in the face with it. That's HIS fault?

Well, first it was a phone and now it’s transformed into an alarm clock. Maybe they’re magicians! Or maybe OP keeps changing his story to appear sympathetic ...

[Anonymous]

Here you go OP: they can help you sort out your situation as well as help you find resources if you want to leave

https://www.thehotline.org/

but note this is a serious organization and they won't take kindly to someone playing internet games.

[Anonymous]

Both abusive, or at least both violent. Squeezing someone's ankle hard to "send the message she needs to stop" is not a normal or acceptable thing to do. You both just kept escalating things. You do not seem happy or good for eachother.

[Anonymous]

Whats confusing?

1. OP’s phone alarm went off. He
Turned it off.

2. It went off a second time. Spouse goes starts kicking him. He used defensive love to stop the assault.

3. OP gets up out of bed and spouse wings an alarm clock at him, hitting him in the face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whats confusing?

1. OP’s phone alarm went off. He
Turned it off.

2. It went off a second time. Spouse goes starts kicking him. He used defensive love to stop the assault.

3. OP gets up out of bed and spouse wings an alarm clock at him, hitting him in the face.

IF it's cool with you I'll wait for OP to come back and clarify what happened. Thanks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both abusive, or at least both violent. Squeezing someone's ankle hard to "send the message she needs to stop" is not a normal or acceptable thing to do. You both just kept escalating things. You do not seem happy or good for eachother.

This.Nobody is innocent here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whats confusing?

1. OP’s phone alarm went off. He
Turned it off.

2. It went off a second time. Spouse goes starts kicking him. He used defensive love to stop the assault.

3. OP gets up out of bed and spouse wings an alarm clock at him, hitting him in the face.

Where did the alarm clock come from if the alarm was on his phone???

This doesn’t add up. I don’t know anyone who has an alarm clock and still uses a phone alarm. Makes no sense. It’s like having Spotify and a Walkman.

[Anonymous]

It was my phone alarm. Spouse has a decorative alarm clock on her side of the bed. Is it clear now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Re: if kicking is abusive, I’m just not sure OP is a reliable narrator here. Very normal when a spouse gently “kicks” to alert the other spouse that their alarm is going off. OP is clearly the person ignoring the alarm and wants to build a case that this is abuse but I sure wouldn’t want to tell a family court judge that the abuse started with alarm clock kick-nudges.

This was not a “gentle kick.” It was full in violent kicking trying to push me from the bed while hurling expletives at me. So, I did act in self defense to stop the kicking and get out.

Maybe you’re like my husband who sleeps like the dead. Do you know how effing annoying it is when you set an alarm early but NEVER actually wake up to it??

[Anonymous]

I am 90% certain this is angry sexless marriage guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both abusive, or at least both violent. Squeezing someone's ankle hard to "send the message she needs to stop" is not a normal or acceptable thing to do. You both just kept escalating things. You do not seem happy or good for eachother.

does "you grabbed their four in self defense" in the OP meaning that the OP grabbed the person kicking them's foot in self defense, and apparently ankle, hard enough to bruise it?

I take back what I said about only one person being abusive. If you left a bruise on someone rather than getting out of bed, you were also abusive.

[Anonymous]

So, the wife who shoots her husband in self defense because he’s hitting her us abusive too. I believe the aggressor - the one who strikes first is the abuser - not the person striking back in self defense.

[Anonymous]

OP, this is miserable. Are you miserable? Life is short. She is awful. Throwing an alarm clock at someone’s face is uncalled for and unforgivable. Im sorry that you need us to assure you of that. What is stopping you from leaving?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is miserable. Are you miserable? Life is short. She is awful. Throwing an alarm clock at someone’s face is uncalled for and unforgivable. Im sorry that you need us to assure you of that. What is stopping you from leaving?

OP has no interest in leaving or reassurance. He's been given advice ( for years) and in this thread on how to leave.

He'd rather call people idiots for not understanding his story.


2 toxic people marinating in their drama.

[Anonymous]

Alarms going off at 5am is abuse. Put that shit on vibrate or use an Apple Watch that vibrates only your wrist. Be respectful of your partners sleep