Sleep Training 8 Week Old..

[Anonymous]

I feel like I'm at my breaking point. My baby was a wonderful sleeper the first month - put himself to sleep or was very easy to get to sleep. Now he is 8 weeks old and it's so hard. I spend 30-60 minutes getting him down, only for him to wake up right away or minutes after. He cries because he's tired and the cycle continues. I usually end up holding him, but even those naps are fitful and he wakes up several times and needs to be rocked and shushed again. He is very particular and likes to be held a certain way (upright and bounced) or else he will scream. He won't take a pacifier and will scream bloody murder if I try to swaddle him. He has short awake windows and I feel like my whole day is spent getting him to sleep. My shoulder, arms, and back ache at the end of the day. He is a good night sleeper ( will usually sleep a 5-6 hour stretch, than another 3-4 hour stretch) and goes right back down after eating. I feel like I can't enjoy being with him anymore because of it and dread putting him to sleep. I want to sleep train. I feel like sleep training will help and make him a better napper. The pediatrician said not until he is 4 months old, but I have had friends who sleep trained sooner because of similar situations. Any advice if you sleep trained early?

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry you’re in a rough stretch right now. Your ped is correct: Way too early to sleep train.

Instead, can you invest in a sling so that you can carry your baby while he sleeps? It will make a huge difference on your shoulders and back. And the best is that you can be hands free. It was a game-changer with my daughter.

[Anonymous]

I would do it. I sleep trained my child around the same age after similar circumstances and it was the best thing ever. It took about a week but he has slept well for naps, went to sleep on his own, and was much happier because he was getting good sleep. He is now a year old and still an excellent sleeper.

[Anonymous]

I am an advocate for sleep training but waited until 4 mos. I would not sleep train a 2 mo. Having that said, have u put him down sleepy but awake and walked away? I’d let him fuss for upto 10 mins to see if he will fall asleep. This is not the same as sleep training. Do not get into the habit of holding him to fall asleep. This will make sleek training so much harder in 2 months.

[Anonymous]

This is such a hard time. My baby also went through a really rough time with naps during this period after sleeping pretty well the first month. It was incredibly difficult. I really feel for you. I also don’t personally recommend sleep training (and I did so at 5 months so am not against it) but even at 5 months sleep training for naps was incredibly difficult and took time, I truly can’t imagine it even working for a newborn. It’s so okay to say you’re at your breaking point - I think you need to bring in other supports - can you hire a doula for some days? I know it’s expensive but you need to do what you need to do to get through this time, it will end. You could also hire a sleep consultant to see if without full blown sleep training you can get some tips that will make the day sleep better as it does sound like it’s incredibly fitful which usually is over tiredness (though seems like you are doing short wake windows which is great). This is also a time I would say risk may be worth it to ask someone to come help you if there is absolutely anyone in your family that could drive in so you can have some breaks (I realize this was easier pre-covid). Or if there any way your partner can take just a. Little more time off so you can switch. You need some breaks during the day somehow.

This time will end, and it will get better but that doesn’t feel very helpful now. I’ve also heard people like swings so you might try that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am an advocate for sleep training but waited until 4 mos. I would not sleep train a 2 mo. Having that said, have u put him down sleepy but awake and walked away? I’d let him fuss for upto 10 mins to see if he will fall asleep. This is not the same as sleep training. Do not get into the habit of holding him to fall asleep. This will make sleek training so much harder in 2 months.

OP here. I have and he will quiet, scream, and repeat and then I give in after a minute and get him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is such a hard time. My baby also went through a really rough time with naps during this period after sleeping pretty well the first month. It was incredibly difficult. I really feel for you. I also don’t personally recommend sleep training (and I did so at 5 months so am not against it) but even at 5 months sleep training for naps was incredibly difficult and took time, I truly can’t imagine it even working for a newborn. It’s so okay to say you’re at your breaking point - I think you need to bring in other supports - can you hire a doula for some days? I know it’s expensive but you need to do what you need to do to get through this time, it will end. You could also hire a sleep consultant to see if without full blown sleep training you can get some tips that will make the day sleep better as it does sound like it’s incredibly fitful which usually is over tiredness (though seems like you are doing short wake windows which is great). This is also a time I would say risk may be worth it to ask someone to come help you if there is absolutely anyone in your family that could drive in so you can have some breaks (I realize this was easier pre-covid). Or if there any way your partner can take just a. Little more time off so you can switch. You need some breaks during the day somehow.

This time will end, and it will get better but that doesn’t feel very helpful now. I’ve also heard people like swings so you might try that.

OP here. We can afford it but I don't feel comfortable hiring anyone with the pandemic.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately, this is normal and no, it isn't appropriate to sleep train an 8 month old. Do you have a partner who can step up to help sometimes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, this is normal and no, it isn't appropriate to sleep train an 8 month old. Do you have a partner who can step up to help sometimes?

^ 8 week old, sorry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, this is normal and no, it isn't appropriate to sleep train an 8 month old. Do you have a partner who can step up to help sometimes?

OP here. My husband helps but he is an MD and is gone most of the time. My MIL lives close but she is older and can't handle holding and bouncing him all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an advocate for sleep training but waited until 4 mos. I would not sleep train a 2 mo. Having that said, have u put him down sleepy but awake and walked away? I’d let him fuss for upto 10 mins to see if he will fall asleep. This is not the same as sleep training. Do not get into the habit of holding him to fall asleep. This will make sleek training so much harder in 2 months.

OP here. I have and he will quiet, scream, and repeat and then I give in after a minute and get him.

Yep. That’s pretty much a newborn. Do you have a snoo? That does help. But yeah. 8 weeks is early. They are so tiny and helpless and still just figuring out that they aren’t inside mom anymore. Kind of heartless to do it at 8 weeks. Most books say 4-5 months. That’s what we did.

[Anonymous]

A lot of newborns don't want to be put down for naps. It's pretty normal.

If he sleeps well at night, I would just hold him during the day for naps. Have you put him in a carrier for a nap? You can put him in a carrier, bounce on a ball, and still have your hands free to work on the computer or read a book. Or put him in a carrier and take a walk.

[Anonymous]

Op one of the pps I see you aren’t feeling the risk of a doula due to the pandemic which I completely get (though I think you really have to weigh things here and you may have to take some risks if you’re really at your breaking point). I also see your husband is an MD. That is hard. The problem is that the reason people don’t recommend doing it with an 8 week old is they just don’t have the ability to self soothe on their own. They just don’t. So there isn’t much to train. And especially for naps (since he’s doing well at night) which are hard even at 5-6 months. If you have the money for a doula but don’t feel comfortable, what about hiring a sleep consultant virtually that can help you plan some gentle sleep training approaches and things to try. They might be able to identify some small things to change that could make a difference. My baby also loved the exercise ball/bouncing. But he would also sleep in the wrap on me if I was on a walk. Any chance that will work? So that you can switch up your day? That helped me. This is short lived and usually you just have to figure out a way to get through the next few weeks.

[Anonymous]

Way too early to sleep train. You say baby hates the swaddle but have you tried swaddling and then doing the 4 S’s? I highly recommend Taking Cara Babies newborn sleep class to help you right now.

[Anonymous]

Only other idea - I couldn’t stand the bouncing either honestly, it wore me out. But my husband would bounce our son for hours at night and didn’t mind it solely because he would just listen to podcasts. Throwing it out in case you have some you love and it could help pass the time