a friend mom-shamed me out of nowhere
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Anonymous
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A close friend invited DS to a small Halloween party at their house last week. DS has been feeling under the weather on and off so I decided that he shouldn't attend. Plus, with the Covid numbers skyrocketing in our area, I figured it would be best to sit this one out. I let my friend know and she seemed to take it just fine. Well, a few days later, she sent me a long email basically saying that maybe my kid hasn't been feeling well because I keep him home too much and, "according to research," isolation causes anxiety in children. And, she tossed in, it seems like I've been too focused on work. I can't tell if she was being passive-aggressive or not but it's left a bad taste in my mouth.
I was pretty blindsided by this. I never responded to her email. I really don't know where the heck this came from and the last thing I need is to get into an email argument with someone. My kid has had allergies, not emotional problems caused by mom trying to be caution during Covid and wanting to keep her job. (Are we back in the 1950s here?) She's told me about arguments she's had on Facebook with friends over Covid and school. Perhaps she was looking to start up with me, too. We've been good friends for so long. I really don't know why she threw this monkey wrench into our friendship. She's one of the few people we've seen in person since Covid started. Let this roll off my shoulders and thank her kindly for the advice and move on? |
Anonymous
| Write her back and say your kid has fall allergies and that you didn't want them to catch COVID from her. |
Anonymous
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I would write back:
Dear friend, My child has allergies, and we are being very cautious and following all the official COVID guidelines. Our friendship is so valuable to me that I don't want anything to come between us. Let's please get together for a distanced walk this week. |
Anonymous
| She’s a moron. You don’t need friends like that. Keeping sock kids home is the right thing to do. |
Anonymous
| People are on edge and acting off these days. I would hold off on responding and wait for her to contact again. If she comments on the lack of response I would just let her know you had no idea how to respond to such an email. |
Anonymous
| If she’s a valued friend, call her and talk to her about how her email affected you. Try to work through it- these are such tense times. A lot of people are behaving in unexpected ways. I think it would be good to let her know she hurt your feelings. From an outsider’s perspective, it seems like she’s second-guessing herself, her choices, and putting it on you. Good luck, OP. |
Anonymous
| Don’t respond and delete. What nerve. |
Anonymous
| Ignore her emails and texts for awhile. See if she comes crawling back with apologies. |
Anonymous
| Put her on the acquaintance shelf for now. |
Anonymous
| Ignore. |
Anonymous
| Ignore. She’s a moron. Don’t give her any fuel to further the discussion. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
The people harping endless about "anxiety" and how terrible it is to keep your kids safe (and the people they would come into contact safe) during a pandemic and spewing faux-concern about other peoples' kids (many of whom they've never met)'s "mental health" are just people making irresponsible choices and when they hear of others being responsible, they feel threatened and insecure and lash out. They're also the "I saw somebody sitting in the car next to me WEARING A MASK! HURRR DURRR!" People confident in their own choices and confident in themselves don't feel the need to judge the choices other people make during a pandemic. |
Anonymous
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Ignore her. Now you know her true colors.
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Anonymous
| She sounds nuts. Covid is proving that there’s also an epidemic of nutsos. |