Women: stop treating "skinny" and "healthy" like they are the same thing

[Anonymous]

Skinny is one kind of body. Bodies come in different shapes. Some people will be skinny no matter how much they eat, what they eat, or how much they exercise. Some bodies will never be skinny, even if they are in perfect health. And many bodies can be skinny if you treat them like garbage (which is what you are doing when you constantly restrict calories, exercise obsessively, and even medicate yourself thin), and those skinny bodies can't be healthy because they are the result of terrible health practices. Also: bodies change! Babies change your body. Age changes your body. Menopause changes your body. Those changes are not automatically bad, and health doesn't necessarily demand that you "fix" them.

Obviously some people do struggle with genuine health effects because of excess weight, and I know from experience that trauma can cause obesity. I'm not talking about people who are seeking to lose weight because it is affecting their heart health, causing joint problems, or limiting their mobility and ability to live active lives. I get it -- that's real and hard and it's a slog and I'm not second guessing you. That really is about health.

No, I'm talking about women who are obsessed with getting down to a size 2 or 4 but rather than just admit it's because of social pressure to be thin, claim to simply be focused on "health."

Why am I ranting about this? I'm sure I'll get 40 posters telling me to MYOB. Well that's the problem, actually. As a woman with a body, I am deeply impacted by this collective delusion, and I am constantly being concern trolled by women who have socially condoned eating disorders, claiming their absolutely insane "health regimens" of fad diets, supplements, bastardized holistic medicine, and sometimes straight up pharmaceuticals, are actually "taking care of themselves."

No, taking care of yourself would be talking to a therapist about your body dysmorphia. The rest of this shit is bananas. And don't think I haven't noticed that you're all UMC white women, because I have. Stop using "health" as a smokescreen for your lifelong obsession with thinness. You are making it harder for the rest of us.

[Anonymous]

Ok

[Anonymous]

Stop letting people talk to you about how you should lose weight. Draw a boundary. Someone's crazy diet only affects you if they're trying to inflict it on you. "I'm glad what you're doing is working for you, I'm not looking to make a change, let's not talk about this." Repeat.

[Anonymous]

From your post, I can’t figure out who is trolling you with their opinions, but they are not your friends. My advice is to get off social media.

[Anonymous]

So people can only want to lose weight if it’s “affecting their heart health, causing joint problems, or limiting their mobility and ability to live active lives.”? So people can only try to lose weight when you approve of it? This is weird.

[Anonymous]

OP, it's as if you've missed this entire pandemic where everyone stays home.

Are you posting from 2019?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So people can only want to lose weight if it’s “affecting their heart health, causing joint problems, or limiting their mobility and ability to live active lives.”? So people can only try to lose weight when you approve of it? This is weird.

People can do what they want with their own bodies. But passing off your restrictive fad diet as “eating healthy” and criticizing others who don’t have your same disordered eating patterns (or don’t exercise obsessively or take stimulants) is obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So people can only want to lose weight if it’s “affecting their heart health, causing joint problems, or limiting their mobility and ability to live active lives.”? So people can only try to lose weight when you approve of it? This is weird.

People can do what they want with their own bodies. But passing off your restrictive fad diet as “eating healthy” and criticizing others who don’t have your same disordered eating patterns (or don’t exercise obsessively or take stimulants) is obnoxious.

... and had that been the point of the OP, most people would agree. To me she sounded just as disordered and delusional as the fad dieters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So people can only want to lose weight if it’s “affecting their heart health, causing joint problems, or limiting their mobility and ability to live active lives.”? So people can only try to lose weight when you approve of it? This is weird.

People can do what they want with their own bodies. But passing off your restrictive fad diet as “eating healthy” and criticizing others who don’t have your same disordered eating patterns (or don’t exercise obsessively or take stimulants) is obnoxious.

Criticizing anyone for their eating habits is obnoxious. Don't hang out with those people. It's not less obnoxious if they were actually eating healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So people can only want to lose weight if it’s “affecting their heart health, causing joint problems, or limiting their mobility and ability to live active lives.”? So people can only try to lose weight when you approve of it? This is weird.

People can do what they want with their own bodies. But passing off your restrictive fad diet as “eating healthy” and criticizing others who don’t have your same disordered eating patterns (or don’t exercise obsessively or take stimulants) is obnoxious.

... and had that been the point of the OP, most people would agree. To me she sounded just as disordered and delusional as the fad dieters.

I am the OP and this is indeed my point. I don’t have disordered eating issues. I eat relatively healthy while also indulging in foods that taste good to me and not worrying a lot about it. I am active and feel good, so I don’t view those indulgences as an issue. I am tired of judgmental comments from my sister, my mom, and a large group of colleagues, all of whom feel comfortable telling me how “bad” my diet is and will make comments about my “weird” food or accuse me of binging because I ate dessert. I feel incessantly judged for my eating habits, specifically because I’m not on some permanent restrictive diet, and a lot of the women in my life are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So people can only want to lose weight if it’s “affecting their heart health, causing joint problems, or limiting their mobility and ability to live active lives.”? So people can only try to lose weight when you approve of it? This is weird.

People can do what they want with their own bodies. But passing off your restrictive fad diet as “eating healthy” and criticizing others who don’t have your same disordered eating patterns (or don’t exercise obsessively or take stimulants) is obnoxious.

Criticizing anyone for their eating habits is obnoxious. Don't hang out with those people. It's not less obnoxious if they were actually eating healthy.

I would love to stop hanging out with them but don’t have a choice. More than half of the women in my life are like this, thus the rant. I am very tired of being told that I am unhealthy by people who are doing frankly insane things to their bodies just so they can look a certain way. I feel like they are determined to shame me into an eating disorder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So people can only want to lose weight if it’s “affecting their heart health, causing joint problems, or limiting their mobility and ability to live active lives.”? So people can only try to lose weight when you approve of it? This is weird.

People can do what they want with their own bodies. But passing off your restrictive fad diet as “eating healthy” and criticizing others who don’t have your same disordered eating patterns (or don’t exercise obsessively or take stimulants) is obnoxious.

... and had that been the point of the OP, most people would agree. To me she sounded just as disordered and delusional as the fad dieters.

I am the OP and this is indeed my point. I don’t have disordered eating issues. I eat relatively healthy while also indulging in foods that taste good to me and not worrying a lot about it. I am active and feel good, so I don’t view those indulgences as an issue. I am tired of judgmental comments from my sister, my mom, and a large group of colleagues, all of whom feel comfortable telling me how “bad” my diet is and will make comments about my “weird” food or accuse me of binging because I ate dessert. I feel incessantly judged for my eating habits, specifically because I’m not on some permanent restrictive diet, and a lot of the women in my life are.

The fact that you are taking the time to post these things suggests to me you probably don’t have a great relationship with food. Just sayin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop letting people talk to you about how you should lose weight. Draw a boundary. Someone's crazy diet only affects you if they're trying to inflict it on you. "I'm glad what you're doing is working for you, I'm not looking to make a change, let's not talk about this." Repeat.

They are trying to inflict it on me. Last week my work colleagues sat around joking about my “terrible” diet because I sometimes eat candy (apparently the occasional KitKat will give you diabetes). Yesterday my mom and sister told me that we can’t have dessert at family functions anymore because they are “bad for you”. Also, my sister has upped her ADHD med intake without a doctor’s approval and while she claims it’s to deal with election stress, I know it’s because she knows it will suppress her appetite. Sure, that’s her business but her obsessions are starting to affect me.

[Anonymous]

I am constantly being concern trolled by women who have socially condoned eating disorders, claiming their absolutely insane "health regimens" of fad diets, supplements, bastardized holistic medicine, and sometimes straight up pharmaceuticals, are actually "taking care of themselves."

Trolled in person? I'd respond with a firm "I'm good, thanks" and I'd probably do the same if it was online.

Unsolicited advice is one of my pet peeves so I do my best to give it was little energy as possible.

You aren't going to change these women, OP. You can change how much head space you give them. Let them do them and you do you. Let it go. Getting upset about it is changing nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So people can only want to lose weight if it’s “affecting their heart health, causing joint problems, or limiting their mobility and ability to live active lives.”? So people can only try to lose weight when you approve of it? This is weird.

People can do what they want with their own bodies. But passing off your restrictive fad diet as “eating healthy” and criticizing others who don’t have your same disordered eating patterns (or don’t exercise obsessively or take stimulants) is obnoxious.

... and had that been the point of the OP, most people would agree. To me she sounded just as disordered and delusional as the fad dieters.

I am the OP and this is indeed my point. I don’t have disordered eating issues. I eat relatively healthy while also indulging in foods that taste good to me and not worrying a lot about it. I am active and feel good, so I don’t view those indulgences as an issue. I am tired of judgmental comments from my sister, my mom, and a large group of colleagues, all of whom feel comfortable telling me how “bad” my diet is and will make comments about my “weird” food or accuse me of binging because I ate dessert. I feel incessantly judged for my eating habits, specifically because I’m not on some permanent restrictive diet, and a lot of the women in my life are.

The fact that you are taking the time to post these things suggests to me you probably don’t have a great relationship with food. Just sayin.

This is precisely the kind of troll-y comment my work colleagues or my mom would make. You know nothing about my relationship with food and posting a few times to an anonymous forum on a Sunday morning certainly would tell you anything about it.