Women: stop treating "skinny" and "healthy" like they are the same thing

[Anonymous]

People only make you feel how you let them make you feel.

Why would you continue eating with the work people? That is totally optional behavior.

And time to draw some boundaries with mom and sister.

I have never one day in my life commented on anything anyone else is eating as it relates to weight or “health” or a body shaming way and have never been around anyone else who does so in any kind of work, friend, other social, or family setting. Sorry you’re experiencing it.

I have been around other women with disordered eating. Not your monkeys, not your circus. If you are in a good head space yourself, this will not keep you up at night. You’ll stop caring or noticing even.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So people can only want to lose weight if it’s “affecting their heart health, causing joint problems, or limiting their mobility and ability to live active lives.”? So people can only try to lose weight when you approve of it? This is weird.

People can do what they want with their own bodies. But passing off your restrictive fad diet as “eating healthy” and criticizing others who don’t have your same disordered eating patterns (or don’t exercise obsessively or take stimulants) is obnoxious.

Criticizing anyone for their eating habits is obnoxious. Don't hang out with those people. It's not less obnoxious if they were actually eating healthy.

I would love to stop hanging out with them but don’t have a choice. More than half of the women in my life are like this, thus the rant. I am very tired of being told that I am unhealthy by people who are doing frankly insane things to their bodies just so they can look a certain way. I feel like they are determined to shame me into an eating disorder.

Honestly, it sounds like you already have an eating disorder, just not a restrictive version. You are eating to prove some kind of point to the people around you? If this tread is evidence of anything, it’s that OP has some issues around food and he/she is desperately trying to blame other people for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, people have different body shapes. However, "overweight/obese" is not a body shape, it is a medical aliment.

Skinny does not mean healthy, of course. But being overweight is ALWAYS unhealthy. There is no way to spin it. The health consequences of excess weight can be delayed or gradual, but they will eventually catch up with you.

Being underweight is also ALWAYS unhealthy. But a lot of people are totally fine with others being underweight but freak out if they decide someone is overweight (and it doesn't sound like OP is talking about people with obvious weight issues -- she's talking about average weight women).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So people can only want to lose weight if it’s “affecting their heart health, causing joint problems, or limiting their mobility and ability to live active lives.”? So people can only try to lose weight when you approve of it? This is weird.

People can do what they want with their own bodies. But passing off your restrictive fad diet as “eating healthy” and criticizing others who don’t have your same disordered eating patterns (or don’t exercise obsessively or take stimulants) is obnoxious.

Criticizing anyone for their eating habits is obnoxious. Don't hang out with those people. It's not less obnoxious if they were actually eating healthy.

I would love to stop hanging out with them but don’t have a choice. More than half of the women in my life are like this, thus the rant. I am very tired of being told that I am unhealthy by people who are doing frankly insane things to their bodies just so they can look a certain way. I feel like they are determined to shame me into an eating disorder.

Honestly, it sounds like you already have an eating disorder, just not a restrictive version. You are eating to prove some kind of point to the people around you? If this tread is evidence of anything, it’s that OP has some issues around food and he/she is desperately trying to blame other people for them.

Troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So people can only want to lose weight if it’s “affecting their heart health, causing joint problems, or limiting their mobility and ability to live active lives.”? So people can only try to lose weight when you approve of it? This is weird.

People can do what they want with their own bodies. But passing off your restrictive fad diet as “eating healthy” and criticizing others who don’t have your same disordered eating patterns (or don’t exercise obsessively or take stimulants) is obnoxious.

Criticizing anyone for their eating habits is obnoxious. Don't hang out with those people. It's not less obnoxious if they were actually eating healthy.

I would love to stop hanging out with them but don’t have a choice. More than half of the women in my life are like this, thus the rant. I am very tired of being told that I am unhealthy by people who are doing frankly insane things to their bodies just so they can look a certain way. I feel like they are determined to shame me into an eating disorder.

Honestly, it sounds like you already have an eating disorder, just not a restrictive version. You are eating to prove some kind of point to the people around you? If this tread is evidence of anything, it’s that OP has some issues around food and he/she is desperately trying to blame other people for them.

Troll.

Different poster and I’d agree. Not trolling, sounds like OP is super sensitive about her food choices. I bet if you asked the co-workers they would claim it’s OP who’s constantly talking about her food choices.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand or agree with the "always unhealthy" when it comes to be over or under weight comments. Every body type is different. We've covered this a lot on DCUM. There can be three women, all the same height, all the same weight and they can all have varying degrees of health. Bone mass, body fat, it all comes into play. There is no "always." Each person is unique and if you really want to know how healthy you are work with your doctor/nutritionist/health care professional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand or agree with the "always unhealthy" when it comes to be over or under weight comments. Every body type is different. We've covered this a lot on DCUM. There can be three women, all the same height, all the same weight and they can all have varying degrees of health. Bone mass, body fat, it all comes into play. There is no "always." Each person is unique and if you really want to know how healthy you are work with your doctor/nutritionist/health care professional.

+100

Commenting on other people's weight or diet is ALWAYS terrible, though. OP, those women need to mind their own business. At least you can comfort yourself in the fact that you don't have these disordered habits. Maybe you could join a dinner party group (no idea if this is a thing during Covid but maybe people do it virtually) to be around people who like and celebrate food. It might help counteract these judgmental comments you are hearing in other parts of your life. Also if you could find somewhere more private to eat at work, though I know from experience that can be hard. Maybe eat at a different time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, people have different body shapes. However, "overweight/obese" is not a body shape, it is a medical aliment.

Skinny does not mean healthy, of course. But being overweight is ALWAYS unhealthy. There is no way to spin it. The health consequences of excess weight can be delayed or gradual, but they will eventually catch up with you.

Being underweight is also ALWAYS unhealthy. But a lot of people are totally fine with others being underweight but freak out if they decide someone is overweight (and it doesn't sound like OP is talking about people with obvious weight issues -- she's talking about average weight women).

The "average" weight woman is way overweight. Average size in the US is a 16/18. That is terrible and unhealthy. OP isn't talking about women that are clinically underweight- she is talking about women who are a size 2-4, which is what she stated. That is not underweight, just a lot thinner than OP is sounds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand or agree with the "always unhealthy" when it comes to be over or under weight comments. Every body type is different. We've covered this a lot on DCUM. There can be three women, all the same height, all the same weight and they can all have varying degrees of health. Bone mass, body fat, it all comes into play. There is no "always." Each person is unique and if you really want to know how healthy you are work with your doctor/nutritionist/health care professional.

+100

Commenting on other people's weight or diet is ALWAYS terrible, though. OP, those women need to mind their own business. At least you can comfort yourself in the fact that you don't have these disordered habits. Maybe you could join a dinner party group (no idea if this is a thing during Covid but maybe people do it virtually) to be around people who like and celebrate food. It might help counteract these judgmental comments you are hearing in other parts of your life. Also if you could find somewhere more private to eat at work, though I know from experience that can be hard. Maybe eat at a different time?

Or just don’t engage. If coworker says “wow that’s a big salad!”, say “thanks!” And carry on eating. Why is OP explaining her avocado dressing. Just ignore them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So people can only want to lose weight if it’s “affecting their heart health, causing joint problems, or limiting their mobility and ability to live active lives.”? So people can only try to lose weight when you approve of it? This is weird.

People can do what they want with their own bodies. But passing off your restrictive fad diet as “eating healthy” and criticizing others who don’t have your same disordered eating patterns (or don’t exercise obsessively or take stimulants) is obnoxious.

Criticizing anyone for their eating habits is obnoxious. Don't hang out with those people. It's not less obnoxious if they were actually eating healthy.

I would love to stop hanging out with them but don’t have a choice. More than half of the women in my life are like this, thus the rant. I am very tired of being told that I am unhealthy by people who are doing frankly insane things to their bodies just so they can look a certain way. I feel like they are determined to shame me into an eating disorder.

Honestly, it sounds like you already have an eating disorder, just not a restrictive version. You are eating to prove some kind of point to the people around you? If this tread is evidence of anything, it’s that OP has some issues around food and he/she is desperately trying to blame other people for them.

Troll.

Different poster and I’d agree. Not trolling, sounds like OP is super sensitive about her food choices. I bet if you asked the co-workers they would claim it’s OP who’s constantly talking about her food choices.

Same troll.

OP sounds healthy. Her coworkers sound toxic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So people can only want to lose weight if it’s “affecting their heart health, causing joint problems, or limiting their mobility and ability to live active lives.”? So people can only try to lose weight when you approve of it? This is weird.

People can do what they want with their own bodies. But passing off your restrictive fad diet as “eating healthy” and criticizing others who don’t have your same disordered eating patterns (or don’t exercise obsessively or take stimulants) is obnoxious.

Criticizing anyone for their eating habits is obnoxious. Don't hang out with those people. It's not less obnoxious if they were actually eating healthy.

I would love to stop hanging out with them but don’t have a choice. More than half of the women in my life are like this, thus the rant. I am very tired of being told that I am unhealthy by people who are doing frankly insane things to their bodies just so they can look a certain way. I feel like they are determined to shame me into an eating disorder.

Honestly, it sounds like you already have an eating disorder, just not a restrictive version. You are eating to prove some kind of point to the people around you? If this tread is evidence of anything, it’s that OP has some issues around food and he/she is desperately trying to blame other people for them.

Troll.

Different poster and I’d agree. Not trolling, sounds like OP is super sensitive about her food choices. I bet if you asked the co-workers they would claim it’s OP who’s constantly talking about her food choices.

Same troll.

OP sounds healthy. Her coworkers sound toxic.

Lol. Are you the OP? Keeps telling yourself everyone else is toxic and you’re the healthy one.

[Anonymous]

Where are you working in the middle of a pandemic that you’re all snacking and eating lunch together?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So if you don’t know if this happens in other racial groups, why bring that as an element at all?

Because I don't want to generalize about all women. I am being honest about the fact that this is my experience as a white, UMC woman with other white, UMC women. I haven't made it about race (you are doing that). I was just specific about my experience and I am cognizant of different attitudes towards food and eating among different racial groups.

Your title says “Women”. You are generalizing, OP.

How old are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, people have different body shapes. However, "overweight/obese" is not a body shape, it is a medical aliment.

Skinny does not mean healthy, of course. But being overweight is ALWAYS unhealthy. There is no way to spin it. The health consequences of excess weight can be delayed or gradual, but they will eventually catch up with you.

Being underweight is also ALWAYS unhealthy. But a lot of people are totally fine with others being underweight but freak out if they decide someone is overweight (and it doesn't sound like OP is talking about people with obvious weight issues -- she's talking about average weight women).

Skinny doesn't mean underweight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: stop treating body image issues, skewed perceptions of beauty and acceptance, and health concerns like they are exclusively "women's troubles."

There's my PSA for *you.*

-loving sister of an anorexic brother in recovery

I am just speaking to my experience as a woman. I'm sure men have issues with these things, but I've never had a man try to shame me over food or weight. That's why I directed my comment at women -- because I am speaking specifically to the phenomenon of women infecting each other with these attitudes.

I am sorry to hear about your brother and wish him a healthy and strong recovery.

You are only speaking for YOUR experience. Your experience as a woman doesn't match my experience as a woman. The bolded alone isn't true for me.