how best teach an 8-year old with decent skills to be more aggressive and energetic on the field?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
My daughter has decent soccer skills for her age, but her attitude on the field is too passive.
Given her skill level, she punches well below her weight class. There are less skillful players on her team who have a bigger impact because they play with sustained energy and without fear, and with an eagerness for the ball. My daughter enjoys soccer, so her weakness on the field isn't due to a lack of enthusiasm. She is just too darn passive during games. And there are some moments when she seems to zone out, as if she were watching the game on TV instead of being part of the action. I have discussed the issue with her, and told her the importance of sustained effort on the field. But her attitude and body language on the field remain unchanged. Any suggestions? |
Anonymous
| This is hard to teach. Focus on having fun. Make sure she is on a team with other kids she likes. I'd be careful about being too critical. She may decide to stop playing. |
Anonymous
OP here. I constantly praise her soccer skills. My ratio of praise to criticism is probably 20 to 1. So, I think I'm giving her good encouragement and support ... but at the same time, I'd like to be able to at least get her to consider ways she could increase her impact on the field. But I agree -- too much criticism could backfire. |
Anonymous
| Leave her alone op. It’s a pandemic. |
Anonymous
| You can't teach it. I have one child who was so skillful and technical but would not be aggressive. Great midfielder but never won 50-50 balls. When he was younger he could be less aggressive because he had a great vision and could anticipate. His coaches say he is just too nice of a kid. He eventually switched to playing baseball and it suits him. My younger one is so unskillful but so crazy aggressive and tall that coaches love her. I can't believe how much aggressiveness is valued but she wins every single 50-50 ball. She plays ugly soccer and her coaches love it. |
Anonymous
OP here. The kids are wearing masks. The kids entered the league because they want to play. My daughter wants to play, and isn't fearful of COVID. She wants to be on the field. She wants to improve. In the rare moments I give her constructive criticism, she isn't upset. So I think the solution isn't to "leave her alone", but rather to figure out best to help her improve. |
Anonymous
| Is she competitive by nature? Does she have the drive to win at everything, be the best at everything? You either have that innate competitiveness or you don’t. |
Anonymous
Refrain from hurting her brain and participating in child abuse. If she plays she must do so without a mask. Otherwise, subject yourself to one hour of cardio with a mask on. #equity #OneForAllAndAllForOne |
Anonymous
OP here. No, she doesn't have the drive to win at everything. Are there many 8-year-olds who have such intensity? It seems like an emotion that might develop at a slightly older age. I don't think anybody on my daughter's team wants to "win at everything". My daughter does like to develop her skills. She enjoys sharpening her passing and dribbling and her moves with the ball. She puts more energy into practice than other kids. She is quite focused during practice -- more so than the other kids. Yet on the field in a game situation, the other kids seem to turn it up to a higher gear, while seems to leave some of her gas in the tank. One never has the sense she is really giving it her all. |
Anonymous
OP. The league requires masks. I disagree with the rule, but it is what it is. Actually, the league just changed the rule this week, and now leaves the mask issue up to the parents. But there are many parents who insist on masks for everybody on the field. So we all must oblige. Frustrating. But my daughter wants to play, and she is willing to put up with a season of wearing a mask. |
Anonymous
|
Just keep developing skills and let her be.
The aggression will either happen or it won't. I'd rather be in your situation with a skillful child who can later become aggressive (for my kids, it was like a switch turning on), than have an aggressive child who may not later embark on the long journey to become skillful. |
Anonymous
|
I’ve got a similar situation.
My 9, almost 10 year old has decent skills and she’s by far the fastest on the team, but you’d never know it from watching a game. She’s on a new team and shy anyway, so last week I asked her why she wasn’t giving the same level of effort in games that she gives in practice and it boiled down to confidence in skills. She essentially said she’d rather not enter a 1v1 situation than try it and lose. I signed her up for private lessons with her (amazing) coach. Note - I’ve also got an 8 year old and there’s no way I’d sign her up for private lessons at that age. It is incredibly expensive, but I want her to learn that practicing can build mastery and confidence. I don’t care if she plays soccer past 5th grade, but I do care that she learn the results of practice and giving 110% for your team on the field. So, my suggestion is practice with her or get someone else who can. |
Anonymous
Thanks, PP. I do practice with her a couple hours a week. I think it is because of these sessions together that her skills have leap frogged over the other kids'. But like your child, she is a bit shy. Perhaps it is her shy nature that holds her back in games. Perhaps, with time, her increasing skills will give her the confidence to let it all hang out on the field. |
Anonymous
| She’s shy and fears failure due to the pressure you’re putting in her. Leave her be. |
Anonymous
|
What does it matter? She's getting exercise, enjoying the outdoors, learning the values of being a team player and good sportsmanship. Leave her alone and let her enjoy herself and get these benefits.
Why parents have to act like every kid is going to be some sports star is beyond me. There are so many benefits here. Don't spoil it for her. |