how best teach an 8-year old with decent skills to be more aggressive and energetic on the field?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s 8.

Let her be just be 8.

Coach here -

I've been coaching for a LONG time, personalities change over time. I agree, she's 8. Biggest thing for her right now is making sure she enjoys the sport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh...OP, I get what you are asking. Unfortunately you can't ask a question without your parenting being criticized. You have a child who has exhibited some technical skill with the ball and has not translated into more game situations because she is timid. Very common at that age. Wanting to help your child with something she is struggling with is fine. Her strength is technical ability and her aggression/timidness is a weakness. That's ok, we all have strengths and weaknesses and should work on both.

There are drills to help, but ultimately it will be up to her. My caution would be, and it sounds like you are doing fine, is do not pressurize the timidness because then she will become anxious too, if not already. At 8 it should be about having fun and trying to develop over time. Have an open discussion with your child. Why are they timid? There are tons of reason that manifest into "not being aggressive" Is it a confidence issue (don't think they are good/scared to mess up)? fear (afraid of getting hurt)? comfort in games (lack of game reps/experience/training)? Once you know that you can address, but make sure they are open to addressing. If not, then just let it play out as pushing will only make it worse. She is 8 and no reason to push too hard right now, if ever.

You can start working on 50/50 balls by holding onto the ball with you foot on top and have her come take it away/win the ball. Let her win the first few for confidence and then progressively get harder by keeping your foot on the ball with more force and moving around. Then put the ball 3 feet in front of you and have her come get it while you go in as well. Same thing. Start off easy for confidence and then progress in difficulty. Then move to 6 feet. Obviously you are limited in how hard you can go, but it's a great drill with a peer/neighborhood friend. Once she gets comfortable you can line up and roll a ball out between two people, first one to gain possession and pass back to starting spot wins.

Good luck!

OP here. Thanks for the suggestions above. We will give this a try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does it matter? She's getting exercise, enjoying the outdoors, learning the values of being a team player and good sportsmanship. Leave her alone and let her enjoy herself and get these benefits.

Why parents have to act like every kid is going to be some sports star is beyond me. There are so many benefits here. Don't spoil it for her.

This. She's 8. The focus should be on making sure she's having fun.

[Anonymous]

I am the poster whose son plays baseball now. I should add he still sometimes plays rec soccer and has fun. I hope when he is an adult he will play in an adult league just for fun.

I just don't think aggression and that desire to win every 50/50 ball is something you can coach. My son really was an amazing player from 6-10. He played in a Hispanic league, played travel, he went to camps, he played soccer with his cousins after school, played at school (they called him little Messi). I even coached him in rec soccer so that he could work on being more aggressive when the game was slower. He was in a top travel team but by 10 he was losing steam.

A really good drill is to have the coach stand in sideline with two players standing next to coach. I placed two cones diagonally about 30 feet out one on each side of field (think two cones and coach with players made a triangle). When I said go players race around cone on their side of field while I rolled the ball to the center. They would go around cones and sprint to ball then try to score on little goals that were set up in each side.

I even posted here when he was around 7 the same question. And people said you can't teach it and j refused to believe it. But it really is true. He started practicing baseball at 9 and by 10 he had made his little league all star team. All the footwork drills translated to bring an infielder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does it matter? She's getting exercise, enjoying the outdoors, learning the values of being a team player and good sportsmanship. Leave her alone and let her enjoy herself and get these benefits.

Why parents have to act like every kid is going to be some sports star is beyond me. There are so many benefits here. Don't spoil it for her.

This. She's 8. The focus should be on making sure she's having fun.

OP here. Her enjoyment of the game has increased in proportion to her skills. She was not enthusiastic in her first year, when she was a beginner. But after discovering that rapid improvement is possible with regular practice, she is excited each time we head to a practice or game.

As an attentive parent, I have good understanding of my child: her emotions, her fears, her weaknesses, her strengths. What seems to work best for her is a gentle push now and then, rather than simply letting her walk away from a challenge. Walking away doesn't make her happier. She likes to meet challenges and overcome them, but sometimes she needs a bit of gentle pressure to ensure that she doesn't give up. So, I have no plans to change my parenting and coaching approach with her. We have a good, solid, happy relationship, and I think I'm helping her grow as a person by teaching her how to identify areas that need improvement, and then finding ways to gradually improve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s 8.

Let her be just be 8.

Coach here -

I've been coaching for a LONG time, personalities change over time. I agree, she's 8. Biggest thing for her right now is making sure she enjoys the sport.

Love for the sport is key, take her to live college or pro matches

[Anonymous]

Oh for F sake, OP isn't saying he wants to torture the poor girl. He's not saying that he doesn't want her to have fun. He's not living vicariously through his daughter (I didn't see that one, but waiting for it.). Maybe he does take her to games. His daughter likes soccer. She is skilled. She isn't as aggressive as her peers and OP is asking for some suggestions. Some people were actually helpful. All you others, STFU. Geezuz. It's a legitimate question.

[Anonymous]

He played in a Hispanic league, played travel, he went to camps, he played soccer with his cousins after school, played at school (they called him little Messi)

What does this have to do with anything?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh...OP, I get what you are asking. Unfortunately you can't ask a question without your parenting being criticized. You have a child who has exhibited some technical skill with the ball and has not translated into more game situations because she is timid. Very common at that age. Wanting to help your child with something she is struggling with is fine. Her strength is technical ability and her aggression/timidness is a weakness. That's ok, we all have strengths and weaknesses and should work on both.

There are drills to help, but ultimately it will be up to her. My caution would be, and it sounds like you are doing fine, is do not pressurize the timidness because then she will become anxious too, if not already. At 8 it should be about having fun and trying to develop over time. Have an open discussion with your child. Why are they timid? There are tons of reason that manifest into "not being aggressive" Is it a confidence issue (don't think they are good/scared to mess up)? fear (afraid of getting hurt)? comfort in games (lack of game reps/experience/training)? Once you know that you can address, but make sure they are open to addressing. If not, then just let it play out as pushing will only make it worse. She is 8 and no reason to push too hard right now, if ever.

You can start working on 50/50 balls by holding onto the ball with you foot on top and have her come take it away/win the ball. Let her win the first few for confidence and then progressively get harder by keeping your foot on the ball with more force and moving around. Then put the ball 3 feet in front of you and have her come get it while you go in as well. Same thing. Start off easy for confidence and then progress in difficulty. Then move to 6 feet. Obviously you are limited in how hard you can go, but it's a great drill with a peer/neighborhood friend. Once she gets comfortable you can line up and roll a ball out between two people, first one to gain possession and pass back to starting spot wins.

Good luck!

Great drill and advice there. This is a simple very effective way to get started. Maybe eventually add in some shoulder contact drills just like the PP said start slow let her build confidence pushing you off the ball.

Yep - if timidity is the problem (wasn't completely clear to me that it was) - then shoulder to shoulder drills are useful too. Better with another kid of a similar size - but you can probably do it with your daugher yourself. Start just standing next to each other and get her to just lean into you and try to push each other over - she should get the feel of getting her center of balance low and feeling the strong shoulder contact. Then move to doing the same while walking and then running. Then add a ball and have her dribble first while walking and then running while her partner walks and runs alongside her attempting to push her off the ball - and repeat with your daughter as the defender. The child in possession should start a quarter of a pace ahead of the defender once you add the ball.

You could also try just havng her run full speed at you and hitting you with her shoulder and letting her knock you over - you could just do this in the back yard for fun without her even realizing it's got anything to do with soccer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh for F sake, OP isn't saying he wants to torture the poor girl. He's not saying that he doesn't want her to have fun. He's not living vicariously through his daughter (I didn't see that one, but waiting for it.). Maybe he does take her to games. His daughter likes soccer. She is skilled. She isn't as aggressive as her peers and OP is asking for some suggestions. Some people were actually helpful. All you others, STFU. Geezuz. It's a legitimate question.

Sorry, no. If you're overthinking 8YO soccer this much, you're taking it WAY too seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh for F sake, OP isn't saying he wants to torture the poor girl. He's not saying that he doesn't want her to have fun. He's not living vicariously through his daughter (I didn't see that one, but waiting for it.). Maybe he does take her to games. His daughter likes soccer. She is skilled. She isn't as aggressive as her peers and OP is asking for some suggestions. Some people were actually helpful. All you others, STFU. Geezuz. It's a legitimate question.

Sorry, no. If you're overthinking 8YO soccer this much, you're taking it WAY too seriously.

The rules have changed. The world is no longer civilized and you don't even know who the other players are. Ruthless competition is now the name of the game - and if you don't bring your child up to compete then they will starve and die.

[Anonymous]

OP, my son was similar. When he got about 9 or 10, I always framed as you are playing great, but if you want to get to the next level you need to get more aggressive and the great thing is that is already in your control. You already have the skill, you just need to get in there and not worry about making a mistake or the contact. And then we created stats for the games for how many 50-50 balls, etc. and solely focused on that when discussing the game. After a couple of months he became very aggressive and now we don’t talk about it anymore. So I think it can be learned if you have a kid that wants to learn that lesson. But you have to be careful to bring it up in a way that makes them like the sport more and not less.

Was it the right move to push that with him? Who knows? It turned out well for him as he seems to love the game more now and is playing much better. But easily could have backfired. It’s a really hard question of when to push. Because if you just take a let them have fun approach, maybe they never learn and then end up leaving the game because they never progress in their development.

[Anonymous]

Time. Seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh for F sake, OP isn't saying he wants to torture the poor girl. He's not saying that he doesn't want her to have fun. He's not living vicariously through his daughter (I didn't see that one, but waiting for it.). Maybe he does take her to games. His daughter likes soccer. She is skilled. She isn't as aggressive as her peers and OP is asking for some suggestions. Some people were actually helpful. All you others, STFU. Geezuz. It's a legitimate question.

Sorry, no. If you're overthinking 8YO soccer this much, you're taking it WAY too seriously.

The rules have changed. The world is no longer civilized and you don't even know who the other players are. Ruthless competition is now the name of the game - and if you don't bring your child up to compete then they will starve and die.

LOL, thank you for being another voice of sanity here.

[Anonymous]

My son was first team All Met in high school and could have played in college.

As an 8 year old, he was more interested in birds and had no skills or aggression in soccer. This frustrated my husband greatly.

But the next year, he started playing with friends at school, and was suddenly more interested in the sport. He was still just ok. He wasn't really a standout of any kind until 10th grade. Then, in the right position with the right coach, he was awesome.

So don't give up on your daughter, and back off. Let her enjoy it in her own way and maybe she will one day be great. Or maybe she will just be a kid with a good team experience getting lots of exercise.

Nothing is sadder than a parent on the sidelines who cares more about the game than the kid on the field.