how best teach an 8-year old with decent skills to be more aggressive and energetic on the field?

[Anonymous]

I had a kid just like this. He made it through three years on the "B" team, then went onto sports that are a better fit. Soccer makes them fast ... just let her play and have fun, and maybe she'll bet more aggressive, or maybe she'll rock some other sport.

[Anonymous]

Geezuz. Who is saying that the OP is over thinking stuff or pushing his daughter or anything. Just maybe the OP thought to ask if there was something small he could do to encourage his daughter to be a little more aggressive and just maybe she'd enjoy it even more? Holy S, maybe he's actually trying to help his daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Geezuz. Who is saying that the OP is over thinking stuff or pushing his daughter or anything. Just maybe the OP thought to ask if there was something small he could do to encourage his daughter to be a little more aggressive and just maybe she'd enjoy it even more? Holy S, maybe he's actually trying to help his daughter.

OP is comparing his/her (though I’m willing to bet it’s his) 8yo to other kids on the field.

They’ve already discussed it once.

This is pushing, no matter how much OP is trying to couch it as helpful.

[Anonymous]

Find a team where she is in the middle of the pack in terms of skill level. Maybe her team is too far ahead of her. Negative feedback loop of being weakest player leads kids to quit...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Geezuz. Who is saying that the OP is over thinking stuff or pushing his daughter or anything. Just maybe the OP thought to ask if there was something small he could do to encourage his daughter to be a little more aggressive and just maybe she'd enjoy it even more? Holy S, maybe he's actually trying to help his daughter.

People have provided some drill ideas. I think a lot of us with older kids are just trying to let OP know that it is unlikely a girl will get more aggressive. They either have it or they don’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Geezuz. Who is saying that the OP is over thinking stuff or pushing his daughter or anything. Just maybe the OP thought to ask if there was something small he could do to encourage his daughter to be a little more aggressive and just maybe she'd enjoy it even more? Holy S, maybe he's actually trying to help his daughter.

OP is comparing his/her (though I’m willing to bet it’s his) 8yo to other kids on the field.

They’ve already discussed it once.

This is pushing, no matter how much OP is trying to couch it as helpful.

OP here. Your analysis is well-meaning, but incorrect in the case of me and my daughter. As my daughter's soccer skills have increased, so to has her enthusiasm for the game. She wants MORE help from me, not less. At least 3 days a week she asks me to take a break from work to run drills with her. I'm not about to turn away from a kid asking for help. She and I have a very solid and healthy relationship, and I have no concerns that a tiny bit of constructive criticism will have any negative effects on her. Every kid is different, of course. What is good for one kid might be bad for another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she competitive by nature? Does she have the drive to win at everything, be the best at everything? You either have that innate competitiveness or you don’t.

OP here. No, she doesn't have the drive to win at everything. Are there many 8-year-olds who have such intensity? It seems like an emotion that might develop at a slightly older age. I don't think anybody on my daughter's team wants to "win at everything".

My daughter does like to develop her skills. She enjoys sharpening her passing and dribbling and her moves with the ball. She puts more energy into practice than other kids. She is quite focused during practice -- more so than the other kids. Yet on the field in a game situation, the other kids seem to turn it up to a higher gear, while seems to leave some of her gas in the tank. One never has the sense she is really giving it her all.

I have a kid who was like that at age 8, and is still like that at age 15. Loves practices more than games. Not competitive. You have to parent the kid you've got, OP, and it sounds like she isn't going to be a real aggressor on the pitch. FWIW, a coach once told my kid that he loved having him on the team because he listened, and the coach always knew where he was going to be (in position), doing what he told him to do. I'd take that over a super aggressive soccer star. But I feel you - when he was 8 we had the same conversations. Now that he's older, I sort of get that is just who he is.

[Anonymous]

My DD is not super aggressive and being on the smalll size doesn't help.
She is very literal esp with coaching. When her coach stated, he wanted more 50/50 wins, she went for it.

Show her how to use her body to shield the ball to keep and/or win it - just these small body movements is good start to build her confidence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Geezuz. Who is saying that the OP is over thinking stuff or pushing his daughter or anything. Just maybe the OP thought to ask if there was something small he could do to encourage his daughter to be a little more aggressive and just maybe she'd enjoy it even more? Holy S, maybe he's actually trying to help his daughter.

OP is comparing his/her (though I’m willing to bet it’s his) 8yo to other kids on the field.

They’ve already discussed it once.

This is pushing, no matter how much OP is trying to couch it as helpful.

OP here. Your analysis is well-meaning, but incorrect in the case of me and my daughter. As my daughter's soccer skills have increased, so to has her enthusiasm for the game. She wants MORE help from me, not less. At least 3 days a week she asks me to take a break from work to run drills with her. I'm not about to turn away from a kid asking for help. She and I have a very solid and healthy relationship, and I have no concerns that a tiny bit of constructive criticism will have any negative effects on her. Every kid is different, of course. What is good for one kid might be bad for another.

Nowhere in your post do you mention her asking for this help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Geezuz. Who is saying that the OP is over thinking stuff or pushing his daughter or anything. Just maybe the OP thought to ask if there was something small he could do to encourage his daughter to be a little more aggressive and just maybe she'd enjoy it even more? Holy S, maybe he's actually trying to help his daughter.

OP is comparing his/her (though I’m willing to bet it’s his) 8yo to other kids on the field.

They’ve already discussed it once.

This is pushing, no matter how much OP is trying to couch it as helpful.

OP here. Your analysis is well-meaning, but incorrect in the case of me and my daughter. As my daughter's soccer skills have increased, so to has her enthusiasm for the game. She wants MORE help from me, not less. At least 3 days a week she asks me to take a break from work to run drills with her. I'm not about to turn away from a kid asking for help. She and I have a very solid and healthy relationship, and I have no concerns that a tiny bit of constructive criticism will have any negative effects on her. Every kid is different, of course. What is good for one kid might be bad for another.

Nowhere in your post do you mention her asking for this help.

OP here. She asks for help with drills and skills. She hasn't specifically said "Dad, I want to be more aggressive on the field". She has said "I want to score more goals" ... I told her that she has the skills to score frequently, but she will get more mileage out of those skills if she pushes harder in games. Apparently, I'm an aggressive monster according to half of the DCUM gurus. So I'm listening to the advice of the other half, some of which has been very good and might be helpful for my daughter.

[Anonymous]

OP, I was the one that offered some 50/50 drills to help out and some others have given some good suggestions as well with the shoulder tackle drills that will help. I definitely recommend those, but take them slowly and do them right as they can lead to fouls at the younger ages if done incorrectly.

I know it's hard, but why even respond to some of these people? You are simply asking for help and like most of the internet you have the arm chair police who love to make themselves feel better by commenting on others. It's amazing. Maybe they are jealous because their kids want to play video games and they want them to be more like your kid asking for help. I don't know and who really cares? You asked for help and shouldn't be ridiculed. I had a similar situation with a super motivated kid of my own. He would push me to push him so I did. We bought hurdles, ladders, kick-walls and all kinds of training equipment. It's what he would ask for every birthday and Christmas. We were up at the field one day and a guy walking past made a comment that I was living through my child. Who cares what they all think? That guy was probably pissed his kid sat in the basement on an xbox all day. You are pushing a child who obviously wants to be pushed. If they didn't you would be wrong, but you're not. There is nothing wrong with that and builds a lot of life long character qualities even outside of soccer. For what it's worth, I pushed my child in a healthy way and they ended up being a hell of a soccer player who went on to play in college and semi-pro.

[Anonymous]

I would focus on specific things that she can do rather than the overall notion of "being aggressive". She may not really know how to implement that. But if you start with winning the ball from another player, you can give her tips, skills, and practice with that. You can coach her to go to the ball when her teammate is passing it to her rather than waiting for it to come to her. You can work on being the first to the ball. I'd work on those specific skills and see whether there is any improvement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I was the one that offered some 50/50 drills to help out and some others have given some good suggestions as well with the shoulder tackle drills that will help. I definitely recommend those, but take them slowly and do them right as they can lead to fouls at the younger ages if done incorrectly.

I know it's hard, but why even respond to some of these people? You are simply asking for help and like most of the internet you have the arm chair police who love to make themselves feel better by commenting on others. It's amazing. Maybe they are jealous because their kids want to play video games and they want them to be more like your kid asking for help. I don't know and who really cares? You asked for help and shouldn't be ridiculed. I had a similar situation with a super motivated kid of my own. He would push me to push him so I did. We bought hurdles, ladders, kick-walls and all kinds of training equipment. It's what he would ask for every birthday and Christmas. We were up at the field one day and a guy walking past made a comment that I was living through my child. Who cares what they all think? That guy was probably pissed his kid sat in the basement on an xbox all day. You are pushing a child who obviously wants to be pushed. If they didn't you would be wrong, but you're not. There is nothing wrong with that and builds a lot of life long character qualities even outside of soccer. For what it's worth, I pushed my child in a healthy way and they ended up being a hell of a soccer player who went on to play in college and semi-pro.

+1. Who cares what people say.

OP, is your DD tentative or lack aggressiveness? There’s a big difference. My DD was tentative because she would sometimes not know what to do or worried about making a mistake. Lots of practice made her really confident. Please continue to encourage her. My DD is a total different player now compared to 2+ years ago personality wise ever since her skills improved tremendously. Please don’t forget to get her to train her weak foot. You will noticed a huge difference in her confidence once her weak foot improves while her teammates can’t use their weak foot.

[Anonymous]

My son was very aggressive U6, U7, U8 and then U9 he started backing off. U10-U12 scared. U13 he got some more size and now at U14, he's not the most aggressive but it's not a problem but still needs to get more aggressive. One thing I did was work with the block tackle. I would just dribble at him and have him block tackle me. Lots of one on ones. The other was to get him to understand that, if he closes down on a player quickly, there is less chance that he would get hit on the face with a shot or pass because of the angle and also it just doesn't hurt as much if you get in close. The bad spots are like 5 yards away. If she has a friend, you can put a ball about 10 yards or less out on front of them. Put them shoulder to shoulder, and see who can get win the ball and take it to a goal on their side of the ball. This will force the girls to push shoulder to shoulder to get an angle on winning the ball. And of course, keep praising the small successes. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP,
OP, is your DD tentative or lack aggressiveness? There’s a big difference. My DD was tentative because she would sometimes not know what to do or worried about making a mistake. Lots of practice made her really confident. Please continue to encourage her. My DD is a total different player now compared to 2+ years ago personality wise ever since her skills improved tremendously. Please don’t forget to get her to train her weak foot. You will noticed a huge difference in her confidence once her weak foot improves while her teammates can’t use their weak foot.

OP here. Interesting question about tentative vs lack of aggressiveness, and that they aren't the same thing. I think both labels fit my daughter's soccer personality. I'm going to work with her using the various drills that posters have offered. I'm optimistic that the drills will have a positive impact. And yes, I won't forget to train her weak foot. Thanks for the suggestions.